Author: admin

I’m deciding to be grateful this week. As a New York (City) franchise fan I’m grateful for the strong play of Vick and Manning this week. I’m grateful that the joint team win total (4) exceeds that of several NFL franchises. Seriously. Semi-clever sarcasm aside, at least I’m not infatuated with pirate-themed franchises. The Buccaneers and the Raiders have combined for one win. So, I have a great deal more to be thankful for. In truth, both my franchises are hobbled by injury and bad O-lines and flush with cash for the next season. They likely both will get high draft picks–well the Giants might, providing they don’t make the playoffs, which is still an amazing possibility. Winning this week is far less of a possibility for either team, but (spoiler) I’m going to go ahead and say they both win.

10 minutes on the clock, here we go!

CLE over CIN
Thursday Night Showdown! I’m expecting this to be a high scoring affair that comes down to the CLE running game and CIN’s reliance on a receiver that will be completely locked down by Joe Haden. I’m starting Sanu at WR. Worked so far.

BAL over TEN
No comment.

MIA over DET
I’m completely surprised by the Dolphins. They play awesome D and have a passable offense. They are who the Jets thought they were.

DAL over JAX
If Dallas gets beat in London the season is over. O.V.E.R.

SF over NO
Even in a tailspin, SF still has a legit run defense. NO has a rusher who suddenly gets 100 yds a game after sucking for years. I see the Niners getting it together.

NYJ over PIT
yeah, I know.

ATL over TB
no need to comment

DEN over OAK
Really?

STL over AZ
Here’s the deal. The Rams are like kryptonite to NFC West teams. I cannot understand it but it is a real thing.

NYG over SEA
Yeah, REALLY. (That’s a brick joke right there.)

GB over CHI
Wait for the locker room rant. It is going to be EPIC.

CAR over PHI
Mark Sanchez really ain’t good. Jeremy Maclin is, and will get a lot of balls thrown his way.

 

Some students (and a prof) got me thinking about mythology today. Specifically we ended up discussing media portrayals of the Greek mythos. This wound around to the story of Hercules in particular but the portrayals through literature of these canonical stories in a modern light. We talked about the ‘Rock’ version of Hercules and the 12 labours, and it got me to thinking about the strange modern confusion of Heracles and Hercules. It reminded me of how much the Romans borrowed from the Greeks in the creation of a pantheon. Moreover, that reminded me of how much Christianity borrowed from the Egyptian mythos in the creation of Jesus.

Everybody borrows and shifts and changes. I suppose the most modern version of that is the work of the Mormon church. I find it interesting that once something is coopted the new entity finds purity and truth in their version but politely defines the older iterations as myth. This is a common symptom of the new and of youth in general. I’m still blown away by how many students fail to recognize British English as the original form of the language we adopted (unofficially) as the American (meaning U.S.) language.

We all borrow and shift and change and remake. We ought to pay respect to where it all came from.

Last year was a pretty good year for me–at least in theory. I think good and bad tend to exist on a sliding scale that is rooted to whatever best and worst experiences, seasons, etc. a person tends to have. Even within the year there are stretches of success and failure, happiness and shadows, etc. I’ve been all over the place with my perceptions of that. I think I’ve reached one fundamental decision: I’m going to stop reading my horoscope. Turns out the universe isn’t always interested in our best interest but instead exists purely for the sake of a larger truth and mission. Me having a good and meaningful day often has little to do with that.

As I rant I think it is especially important to recognize that a lot of good and bad and right and wrong, etc. is based largely on perception. We can see the world as for us or against us without the world even knowing who we are. It is all tied into our ego and the human need to be part of something larger and to matter. What if, in the end, we are no more important than a mayfly?

Sometimes such darkness finds even me.

Nothing in this great big world is perfect. There are shades of acceptance and satisfaction and, with the proper conditioning, we can learn to live in the worst of situations. We can also remember how to want more. I’ve been remembering what my life was like before I came to be in Arizona. At times I drift further back into the past and recall what I wanted and needed out of life. I think it is extremely important to remember what you wanted to be before life got in the way. Perhaps the memory can help you recapture some semblance of that purpose.

I wanted to make a difference. It’s vague, I know. I wanted to matter in some meaningful way. I think that is why when teaching found me I didn’t put up much of a fight. I still mean to make a different, and rewinding into my past often reminds me of all of the important things I wanted to do and be in pursuit of that goal. I’m not too old to live out those dreams.

Not yet.

Any writer will tell you there is a point in every story where you stop writing it and realize that the story is actually writing itself, and you, fearless author, are merely along as a witness. I like to call that moment ‘the turn’. I borrowed the term from master pitch salesman Ron Pupil, who used the term to describe the moment where you go from talking about the product to actually asking for the money. In writing terms the turn is money. There is nothing as glorious as the feeling of letting go; to type the words of the story and know that everything is coming together on its own and even elements of the story that were completely unplanned are breathed into life and made real on the page.

I experienced the turn again today and I’m so pleased with it that the high is driving me right into the next story, and that high should drive me into the story after that. This is probably why drug users do what they do, and it is definitely a reward for what I do. Writers like me live for the turn. It, more than money, makes me want to write every day.

Over the years Halloween has come to have additional meaning for me. In addition to being  fun holiday for the kids to dress up and horde candy, it is the eve of NanoWrimo, the month where thousands try to write a novel in a month. I’m going to be right there beside them. The outline is sketched out (however thinly) and the characters are starting to speak to me. It is time to get back in the swing of intensive daily writing.

I’ve heard authors say there is nothing like writing for hours every day. In truth I’ve found that sensation more elusive than not over the past decade. I love the craft but to put more than four hours down a day has largely been a daunting task. I’ve done it for the past two days and it feels marvelous. I think I’m ready for nano.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I truly enjoyed this halloween. The kids had a great time and I was amongst friends. I don’t get a lot of opportunities like that and I am grateful for the few I get.

I continue to be baffled by this country’s obsession with sex. If you are pretty or shapely–especially both–you aren’t required to have much talent to become the internet’s latest cause celeb. A well placed photo and you’re on your way to 15 minutes of every horny man in the western realm doing a websearch for topless (and sometimes bottomless) photos of you. Sites like WITHAG and playerwives.com perpetuate the hunt for the next new pretty face. The interesting aspect of all this is that the hunt ends in nudity. I’ve observed the furor over most of these fly-by-night beauties intensify right up to the point where someone nabs a photo of them naked. Then their star begins to fade. The public has what it wants–the woman exposed and vulnerable whether by choice, pressure, or otherwise it doesn’t matter.

Part of me looks at that obsession as a reflection of a male-dominated society needing to exert power over female subjects. Part of me sees it as desire being quenched in the lightspeed modern world. All of it sickens me to a certain extent. I do think a smart woman can build herself a career off of such desires. Edward Bernays is noted for coining the phrase ‘sex sells’ and I think he was slightly off base. Sex corrupts and absolute access to sex corrupts absolutely.

 

CAR over NO

CIN over JAX

CLE over TB

ARI over DAL
Dallas ain’t real. Period.

 

HOU over PHI
Philly ain’t real. Period.

 

NYJ over KC
Vick actually got reps this week and realizes that he is playing for a new contract somewhere else. He’ll try to earn it and a playoff spot over the second half of this season.

SD over MIA

WAS over MIN

SF over STL

DEN over NE
Peyton has problems with New England, but he also has a run game and a defense predicated on stopping Tight Ends.

SEA over OAK

BAL over PIT
I ought to know better than to bet against the Steelers by now. Nope. I don’t.

 

NYG over IND
I’m past the whole ‘vote for my team’ nonsense that spiked my weekly records. With this particular case I feel like the Giants, who are reeling, recognize how important the win is to them and are working overtime to prepare for their own. Bradshaw and co are going to go wild, but the Giants win this shootout.

1. Tonight I had a chance to sit down and listen to three of my former and current students read their creative writing. I was not only proud of the work they put together but awed at how far they’ve come as writers and how dedicated and skillful they’ve grown into their craft. I get that I’m a part of that growth and there is a part of me warmed by the understanding, but tonight was about them sticking to it and being rewarded for their excellence.
2. Long semester. I’m about done with it, if not actually then psychologically.
3. I’m about done with a lot of things that way.

If anything I’ve noticed a reduction in the number of words I can put down in 10 minutes.

That’s how the world works though. You have your high moments and your low ones. You hit a groove then a bump and the groove is suddenly gone and you spend a few months trying to get that back only to discover that it existed in that place and time and is now a part of your history. You gotta keep churning and uncovering the new. You have to evolve, change, aspire, be. Maybe not be. When I think about that word it is about existing and simply becoming a listener. Every now and again I start to believe that this is what I want to be–one who listens to the universe and, instead of acting on the voice of the universe and the voice of my own motivational energies, leans into the energy of time and space and tries to exist in that moment for as long as possible. Only, it isn’t possible to live in a moment. That is why it is called a moment. You live on a breeze, pushed along a current of wind towards an eventual destination; towards a new part of yourself that grows and changes and flowers and becomes something new itself.

It is simple to say you’ve become who you can be, but less so to understand what that means or why that is so incredibly defeating. I see it played out in the most minute ways sometimes. Tonight on the soccer pitch my 8-9 team went up against a team from the next age group. This 8-9 team is undefeated, destroying practically every team they face leading up to this weekends final match. Still, the team has deteriorated in each consecutive game, leaving us vulnerable for a big and painful end of season loss. The brilliance of our head coach (for I am merely an assistant) led to a match up against the older kids–kids who’ve won a majority of their matches this season and several of whom are quality club players. So, our boys faced off against their boys with all the fire and punch an undefeated, ego-strong 8-9 team can bring and their charge broke against the walls of the 10-12 goal where they discovered there are indeed players stronger and faster and better trained than them who, believe it or not, want it more.

We lost 3-1, but it was an incredible moment of realization where we stopped dying and started coming together and playing team ball again and deciding that individual glory matters little in the face of opportunity and purpose.

If I am to reflect on one last thing this night it is those two words. I realize the best way to live is to constantly throw myself in the path of opportunity and purpose. Not only to land in its path but to take advantage of it in any and all possible ways to the best of my ability. Go hard. Always. There is nothing after this life that is at all like this life, so take advantage of this singular opportunity before it ends.