915. Waiver Wednesday

0-8 is history. Welcome to the world of 1-8. I could end the season 5-8 with a outside shot at making the playoffs and then it is 0-0. I was powered by great performances from all my players, including some excellent play from Andrew Luck, a QB who I famously said was a bust waiting to happen. I think that 0-8 start was penance from the Football Gods. Here, on the eve of NFL week 10, I look to challenge Bristol greatness. Last week I went 11-3 with a couple of upsets to bust up my chance for a perfect 14. Still, 84-48 puts me ten behind Wickersham, eight behind Mortensen and still in striking distance of that championship. Will we see another strong week?

IND over JAC
No surprises here. Indy is rising behind strong offensive play and the heart of a coach who will not stop fighting–even when that fight is against cancer.

NYG over CIN
Road games are home games and vice versa.

TEN over MIA
Tough call, but the TEN running game is going to control the clock here.

MIN over DET
Something is amuck in DET. I cannot tell you why, but Megatron is not catching touchdowns. Madden Curse?

NE over BUF

NO over ATL
Yep, upset call of the week. I think NO knows how important this win is and in a home game, they are going to seal it late.

TB over SD

DEN over CAR

BAL over OAK

SEA over NYJ

PHI over DAL

SF over STL

CHI over HOU

PIT over KC

 

 

914. Super Tuesday

This is the night of the big election and I voted for Obama.

I did the same thing 4 years ago in the hopes I would contribute to hope and change. Unfortunately that change bread fear and backlash. We have seen a four year roll back of many of the rules that guarantee equality with the ruling white male class. The reason is because a significant portion of the group that holds on tightly to those advantages is aging, and losing control of the voting block.

They worked very hard this term to make Obama a failure. When that didn’t work as planned, they created new truths to define him as a failure. He didn’t do enough. He didn’t do it fast enough. Our guy woulda done better. This list goes on.

Obama was not a perfect president by any means. He did not do all he promised, but he did do a lot and did respond to the problems he faced. I think he led the country well and would for another 4 years. I think he is a better person and a better leader than his opponents, and he has the intelligence to lead our country onward.

I say this as I watch the timer click down to zero on the direction the country takes these next four years. Maybe it matters because I am more mature now. Maybe because I have kids I am starting to think less about what is best for me and what is best for them. I want the best of both worlds, of course. The main difference between me and the imaginary voter than pundits speak of is that I am patient enough to wait for it.

We fell off a fiscal cliff and Obama yanked the ripcord to slow the fall. Maybe he wasn’t the billionaire type to have a golden parachute, but I think we all know by now that those things don’t support the weight of the many. They support the weight of the few and the wealthy. After all, that is what the Grand Old Party is really all about.

913. A brief and poignant exposition on cleavage

It is impossible to ignore the cresent of skin below the neckline broken by a line of cleavage. This is not a sexual affirmation, but an observation. For reasons I cannot understand, men–or just me–are compelled to look at a woman’s neckline. I try to stop. I often stare women in the eye to the point that it becomes obvious that I’m working hard to avoid looking down. I am not trying to be obnoxious or to sexualize people, I am merely responding to a strange unconscious urge to look at what is presented to me. I know this because it usually happens with women I am not even attracted to.

I think it is the flesh.

The persence of bare flesh presents a counterpoint to the clothing. I look at arms and legs the same as I do a neckline, but those glances are less noticable because they are more expected. It seems that the neckline and thusly cleavage, which some women work to make noticeable, is this odd test which women present in order to see just what kind of a person you are.

Does looking make you a bad person, a pervert, or even a deviant? Given the proclivity of designers to make low cut shirts, I feel the latter option cannot be true. It cannot be deviant to look when the majority of women’s wear is designed to goad you into doing so. I’m certain I sound like a pig for saying so, but indeed therein lies the trap.

I don’t think I am a bad person or even perverted. Maybe it is a sign that there is a good guy somewhere in me that I even choose to have this conversation. What I dislike most of all is that when my eyes do wander, it puts people on the defensive. I feel that I am making women uncomfortable with the notice of flesh, yet I don’t know how to not notice.

Some Thoughts:

  1. The new season of The Walking Dead proves that no one is safe. There has been a quiet assumption that certain characters and concepts are basically off limits. In other words, some folks won’t be infected. However, that is not the case at all. Anyone can be killed. Even Rick.
  2. The Giants lost another home game, this one in the 4th quarter. The loss was not terribly shocking, but it did come as a dissapointment to fans who hoped to step away from the sadness of Sandy by watching their team ‘do what it do’. I think the fans get that the G-men tried and that the Steelers don’t lay down for anyone.

912. And then we started all over again

I went through a period of time where I really let my guard down. I felt that I’d reached a point of organization and certainty where I could take it easy. Once that happened, I started to slip back into many of the old routines and things didn’t get done. Heck, I even missed a day of the blog. So, I think it may be a good idea to go back to the basics.

I scripted my week practically hour by hour in an attempt to see what I can do and what I must cut. If I allow the schedule to do its job I have a serious chance to put things right again with my time management.

911. Reflections on a Saturday Night

Wal Mart can be easily classified as the theatre of the absurd, especially on weekends. I enjoy going there to people watch, but eventually I am going to have to face the reality that by being there, I am one of the absurd and no longer merely an observer. I’m writing a self reflection as this bit of revelation and a few others have forced me to look inward for a bit.

For a few hours each night I absolutely hate my life. The effects of this hatred are destructive and long lasting. For the next hour at least I sit in recovery, either trying to drown the memory of the last couple of hours in the bottom of a beer, or masking them with whatever escape mechanism I can find. I hate my kids for those two hours. It starts around 6 pm when they are fat with fatigue and attitude. They stop listening and start behaving like the lowest form of humanity you can imagine. Every so often one of the three is able to rise out of this torture and does something sweet. This serves as a reminder that I should not kill them outright.

It is a thin and often brief reminder as one of the remaining two will immediately fill that love bubble with the most torturous behavior imaginable. Once, the 5 yr old broke a ceiling fan. Sure, it was an ‘accident’ but it was also the result of highly irresponsible behavior brought about by hours of activity without rest or often even pause. They want to go hard from dawn till dark till dawn scrapes the sky again. By six the lids are heavy and the minds are fighting the effect of such things.

Never tell a kid they may be tired. I think there is something in the brain wired to activate the fight or flight response when a question or accusation of such merit is made. I think that same wiring is rigged to fight in my kids.

“You look sleepy.”

“No I am NOT!!!!”

As if such anger will change the fact that the kid was riding heavy eyelids and falling off the couch. Now had I just shut up, he woulda fallen completely under the spell of the Sandman and I could have avoided him suddenly sitting up and looking for stuff to break. Ten minutes later my blood is up and I want something to kill.

As it stands I have three kids. It shall never be four. If things continue along this trajectory, two or one seem more likely.

910. The Secretary and the President

The college I used to work at has a split personality. Many prefer to hire from within, while others prefer to hire outside. I was always torn on that account. When you hire from within you know what you get and you get someone familiar with the culture. You can even train them to be the kind of employee you feel you need. This is all good. To a point.

The college I used to work for hired a secretary who became an administrative assistant who became a Dean. This is where I feel the system breaks down. This person can easily continue that trajectory, becoming a VP at a college and eventually becoming a college president. What is wrong with that? I think it undermines the very nature of the academic schema. I believe all college presidents should spend a significant amount of time as faculty. You have to understand both sides of the business in order to really administrate the business. While I admire what it takes to go from scheduling meetings and answering phones as the front door for an administrator to being that administrator and finally that administrator’s ultimate boss, I feel that journey wipes away the ability to understand the academic side of operation from a practical standpoint.

I’ve struggled with this for some time, and I see it happening time and again. There needs to be a clear pathway to advancement, but right now, in some places, it is easier to go from Secretary to President than it is to go from Faculty to President. That isn’t how it should be.

Some Thoughts:

1. Day two of Nano and I have yet to touch my novel. Failure in progress…

909. On to Nano!

November is National Novel Writing Month. For the first time I have actually registered for the month (under the name fastdos) and intend to do what I can to compose a novel. Doing what you can has been the real tragedy of this semester. I don’t claim that I have been the best teacher this year, and to thicken the bad news I think I may have turned a group of writers away from the novel. I subjected them to the harsh reality of writing a novel on a tight schedule. Thus far, all but one has failed to meet the deadlines for the course at the word level requested.

Long story short, once they failed to deliver at the level they believe I expected, many of the students became dismayed and dejected. I think I am on the verge of losing them forever. This is wholly my fault. I did not explain the requirements clearly and what I did explain was so much of a top end expectation that it proved to be too much for most of them. Still, the class is about Planning and Structuring the Novel, so what they’ve all done is so far beyond my quiet and unstated actual expectations that I am super proud of the accomplishments. They can now approach the novel with realistic understanding and expectations.

I’m not proud of the way things went down for the students. I have a lot of making up to do in order to restore trust and understanding, but I know that I haven’t burned the bridges so completely that they will not recover.

908. Waiver Wednesday

9-5. I made some bold predictions and they panned out. it was the simple stuff I missed. 73-45 after a nearly identical week to the last one. The wins put me 10 behind Mortensen and 11 behind Wickersham who rocketed up to 83 wins with an 11-3 week. I need one of those weeks, or even one better to reach closer to the sun.

KC over SD

DEN over CIN

BAL over CLE

GB over AZ

CHI over TEN

MIA over IND

CAR over WSH

DET over JAC

HOU over BUF

TB over OAK

SEA over MIN
I said it before: Seattle is lethal at home.

NYG over PIT
I’m hesitant about the call, given the troubles in NY and the fact that NY loses home games more than road ones. However, Pitt is experiencing the same troubles, so the mental game is even.

ATL over DAL
Dallas will snap out of it, but not against a very hot Atlanta team that knows how to defend the pass.

NO over PHI
New Orleans is due for another win. Philly needs a win, but their season is likely over. Save for a likely late season thrashing of the Giants, it is going to be tough going for the Eagles.

907. On Being Overwhelmed

I know that Mondays are my natural night for self-reflection, but sometimes revelations–even epiphanies–need to be addressed the moment they happen. This one is a long time coming I suppose. I also suppose those who know me best may wonder how I missed it for 37 years. Heck, I cannot even believe I am 37 years old (which is quite old to me still–nearly 40 y’know), so that explains why what is right in front of my face is so hard to see.

If all people have a fight or flight response, my response mechanism to intense work is flight. It damned me in football. It damns me as I try to get back in shape, and it damns me most of all as a writer. Presently I am working on a handful of contract assignments and a ton of grading for classes. I am, of course, behind. The issue is complicated by three kids, but as I’ve gotten older I have found my way to more excuses and fewer answers. I am struggling, not with motivation, but with understanding how to fathom the waters of work I find myself drowning in.

The web tells me it is all in my head. Jerry Oltion of the Science Fiction Writer’s Association says I should set page quotas per day. Good idea, Jerry, but I struggle to find reasonable consequence for the failure to meet quota. I don’t really have money to put aside, and if forced to do so it would only be a benefit. I hardly have time to game, so withholding that is equally useless.

What about reaching my potential?

Malcolm Gladwell says if I work 6 hrs a day at my craft, it should take me roughly four and a half years to reach my potential as a writer (this discounts experience thus far). So, maybe in that time I will have it beat. Of course, I don’t devote that time to the craft or the required responsibilities.

I guess it requires going back to the beginning and back to scheduling and sticking to the basics. I suppose I need to do what I tell everyone else to do. I need to carve out 3hrs of my day and dedicate it to the craft–be it through grading work, reading it, or writing it. Maybe an hour minimum for each.

The trick is to get started and ignore the weight of the work around me. That has, and continues, to be the hardest part. I need to look inside myself, find that block of time and use it.

906. Reflections on a Monday Night: Early to Bed

First off, my prayers go out to those dealing with unprecedented flooding in NYC and all along the eastern seaboard. We know not why the weather is as it is, but we know now the extensive damage and fear it can wreak upon us. I may have been insensitive in some facebook photo postings earlier. I did not intend to offend, but instead to try to cast a reflective light on the moment. Consider my actions further proof of why I’m not quite ready to lead.

I am still leading though. I’m the HC (or HNIC) of two flag teams for the first time, well, ever. I’ve HC’d singular teams, but never two at once. This is my wheel house and my fear house rolled into one. I have a 8-9 team where I can feature a slice of the offense I learned in college and a 4-5 team where I will attempt to herd cats. Both have me equally excited to participate in and to watch my kids strive to be successful. I think #1 will do well and #2 may finally get the chance to shine as I thought he did in soccer. The soccer thing was a dissapointment. He came in second for MVP voting to the HC’s kid, who played well (but not as well as my boy IMHO).

FB is a chance for us all to have fun together and learn a lot. I plan to structure things quite a bit differently than the original HC. I’m going to hold a football camp to launch practice and really try to build core units within the team. I think the center-QB connection is so crucial that I may even pair kids up with a set center for a quarter. The pan is to have up to 4 QB’s a game and get them so locked in with the center that they have the dump off pass play wired into their muscle memory. They’ll be able to get 5-10 yards eyes closed. That tandem will know how to run the quick screen and the center handoff/handback as well, giving me additional plays for the team. As I said before, I want two set plays: a set pass and the RB option pass. I want good decision making based on what is happening on the field. I want field general quarterbacks.

I may want far too much. Something else I want is a good night’s sleep. The wife does her nursing thing tomorrow, so I am on the way to a 5 am wake up call. better be prepared…