Month: April 2014

Ten minutes on the clock. Lets see what develops….

Magic is something I’ve spent a remarkable amount of time thinking about. It represents my latest writer’s block and lives at the core of my understanding of how we as sentient beings interact with the universe. What is magic? I can start with what it isn’t. The stuff that Copperfield, Angel, and their ilk do is not magic. That is illusion; the use of familiar technologies and a slight of hand in an unusual fashion in order to create the appearance of something magical i.e. something that can only be explained as supposedly beyond the realm of ‘normal’ sentient ability. People are magical by that same definition: ‘Magic’ Johnson, the magical touch of certain stock traders, the voice of a singer such as Adele.  Magic is our oft paltry attempt to recognize and explain the ethereal connection we have between each other and to the universe itself. Moreover magic use can then be defined as our ability to reach into that connection and draw from it the ability to act on the physical (and often metaphysical) universe in ways that make far exceed normalcy.

I’ve always wanted to be a magician. I want to understand more about why I am here and shape that understanding; weaponize it, if you will, into a force that I can use to create a better life situation for my family and for myself. If magic is shaped from willpower I can see why I am presently no mage. I’ve spent quite a spell talking–preaching to the blog–but not acting. I pronounce and proclaim and make wonderful net thunder but do little to manifest that spell into reality.

And I say then as I say now: This must change.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Getting sick was an oddly useful experience. It put into focus many of my routines, rituals, and daily experiences. I’ve always felt trapped by daily life, as though the things I do each day comprise so much of my day as to hold me back from experiencing a brighter life. I also came face to face with my chemical dependency. My coffee addiction is quite severe. I drink it out of habit but I also depend on it to keep me functioning past normal operating parameters. Without it I was not able to perform past a certain hour. From this I can ascertain that any creative activities done beyond that hour (i.e. beyond the pale) are to be considered wasted energy. It is high time I got a great deal smarter about understanding not only my body, but my mind.

This is the first time since wednesday I’ve felt vaguely human. I refuse to say I’m out of the woods, but this brief respite in which I am once again possessed of hydration and common sense. At some point during the night I began to think about the idea of death and what that means to me. I’ve always thought of death as a cessation of conscious thought. However, the reduced capacity to think and to function is a sort of death–as in the death of the person you are. Given the coming holiday it isn’t too much of a leap to make the connection between recovery and resurrection. Both are, in a sense, a return to who you are meant to be from a state where you aren’t what you are meant to be.

I’m interested in language and specifically in the philosophical connections between how different cultures speaking the same language interpret things. Resurrection and Recovery are two words that have different meanings from place to place. Some use each in the more casual sense–Resurrecting a dead franchise and such. At this point I am recovering my sense of myself as a writer and perhaps my sense of a writing career.

Some Thoughts:

1. If I imagine writing with a British accent, it changes the prose. I believe accent is indicative of culture and the responsibility of language and tonality of that culture. This can be a good trick to remember when writing about different cultures, especially those being created on the fly. Creating an accent formalizes a sense of what that culture represents.
2. I’m still fueled by the Science Channel and its ilk. Knowledge is power, but again it is all in how you interpret the word. Knowledge is power to me in the sense of fuel.

There’s no doubt about it–I despise being sick. The problem with sickness is not only that it physically knocks you for a loop, but it also sets you back in terms of responsibilities. Being sick forced me to miss work and to spend two days wandering the house struggling to compose a valid thought. I am (hopefully) at the tail end of it and am rediscovering the world days later. I suppose this is a good a time as any to reflect.

I woke up a few minutes ago with the idea to assess the world through new eyes as it were. The first thing I realized is that CNN found another asian tragedy to make money off of. This one comes in the form of a sinking ferry. The story is a bad one. Early reports suggest that the crew told everyone to stay where they were and then the Captain himself was among the first to abandon ship. Not illegal but morally reprehensible. It led me to thinking about these moral constants we have–Captain goes down with his ship and what not. I wonder where these ideas came from and why they become so pervasive on the international stage.

After I climbed down off my high horse I started thinking about news in general and how its moved from information to entertainment. I’ve ranted about this in the past, mostly to suggest that there are fewer places to get the real story anymore. It led me to thinking that maybe folks don’t want news anymore. News can be depressing. Short of sports and weather and information about what is happening very close to you, everything else is perceived as entertainment and is labeled with the expectations thereof.

Hmm… maybe I’m not off my high horse after all…

I’m not prepared to call Creationists wrong. I think I’ll go with ‘Short Sighted’

From the creation standpoint, God made everything. From the science standpoint, everything can be explained by science. What if both are correct? What if God’s delivery method of humanity is in fact the science of evolution. The primary reason that creationists cannot get behind evolution is because it contradicts with the bible. Well, in my humble opinion, it only contradicts with the bible if you look at the book as a factual record of history as opposed to a metaphorical text designed to teach each generation the religious and social rules of the day.

I can accept that there could be a God, a heaven, hell, and evolution. I don’t think these ideas are contradictory at all. We continue to evolve as a species even now. Science can help us explain some of the stories of the bible. Even the idea of the earth’s creation feels like a scientific fact that coincides with a metaphorical biblical story.

Not much more to say yet… Still sick.

CT Fletcher would say, ‘It is still your G.D. set!” Unfortunately, I’m sick as a dog and my set is really short tonight. It is rare that I feel this way–as if Malaria made out with Ebola and then decided to go looking for trouble and found me. Headache, fever, and several unmentionable other symptoms. I’m writing as much as I can, but unfortunately it aint all that much.

 

The sick bed (and toilet) beckons.

Wound up in a coffee shop today. As of late they’ve been foreign soil. The coffee shop vibe is one that is heavily romanticized by writers, myself included. Depending on where I land, a shop can be a soulful rest stop filled with interesting people or a noisy den crammed with high-strung individuals curious as to why I’m breathing their air. I don’t know when or how the ‘write in a coffee shop’ movement begin, but I signed up back at the turn of the century, spending ten years (and untold thousands) developing a fierce addiction to caffeine. Once parenthood set upon me I was forced to find alternatives to the coffee shop writing spot. I tried doing the home office thing (a journey often repeated and chronicled in this blog), but with people watching being such an important part of what I do, it was not successful.

 

A fundamental part of my writing process is having sufficient noise and distraction. The surroundings should force me to dive deeper into my process. Coffee shops can be perfect for that, but they can also be pits of commerciality—especially when it comes to Starbucks. In my dreams I’m working out of a cool local shop where the baristas know everyone by name and the conversations are genuine.

 

I didn’t find that shop, but I did find a good cup of iced coffee.

A buddy of mine turned me on to CT Fletcher. I guess he got tired of hearing my excuses about not working out and wanted to get me to listen to someone who gives straight talk. Message recieved. Fletcher talks about motivation and belief and getting off your ass and taking all the right steps to get to where you want to be. The key is to stop making excuses and stop taking short cuts.

Its funny, I always here that you have to fall in order to realize how far you need to go to get to the top. How do you know when you’ve fallen? Is it the people around you telling you? Is it that unfamiliar face/body in the mirror? The strange moments of tension or anger where there had been only happiness before? Or maybe it is as simple as realizing you don’t care as much about the things that used to mean so much. Maybe its when you start taking shortcuts because you care more about the result than the process.

Being happy is such a highlight in the American lifestyle. We are raised to be happy and to be successful, but are we raised to be the best we can be anymore? Are we taught to work hard and find love in the process of that work? Does being the best you matter anymore?

It still matters to me, even if I forget myself from time to time.

Some Thoughts:

1. I am more mentally present when I blog in the morning vs. blogging at night. It therefore stands to reason that the best time for me to write may be in the morning vs. late at night when the only thing of value I seem prepared to create is Minecraft tunnels.

Nobody has published a report expressing just how much international money has been spent on locating flight 370. Nielsen published a report about the number of people who watched the news on April 10th. Once again, FOX more than doubled the number of viewers that CNN had that night. The last time CNN broke the 1/2 as populous margin was when they first began airing the Flight 370 drama. I’m taking you back to the original ‘This is a CRISIS’ graphic, not the more recent, ‘We’ll find this thing if it kills us’ graphic. People were interested. Not all people, but the people that actually spend time watching cable news. What’s important to note about that is the people who generally watch cable news are the ones who are drawn to the kind of news that reinforces their world view, i.e. the Fox News set.

Back in November of 12, CNN awoke to a full blown crisis. Their numbers showed a 15-month low as they averaged 385, 000 total viewers in the Monday-Friday prime slot, only 95,000 of which were adults in the 25-54 demo. CNN must’ve realized that things were not working. Adults above 54 long supported FOX and showed no signs of wanting to change (as is indicative of the age group), so the real prize was and continues to be the 25-54 demographic… Or is it? The fundamental problem that CNN faces is a shifting landscape of news access. Younger people are going online to get their news and many older folks are following suit. Add to that the number of options available to get news that is, well, not like FOX and you are looking at a fight over a shrinking market with a sizable number of competitors. All of this brings us to flight 370.

When the flight first disappeared people of all demographics were keenly interested. They couldn’t get in depth coverage of the story from other outlets because other outlets truly didn’t realize the impact the story would have. It was a budding conspiracy theory–Amelia Earhart for the modern day. CNN ran the story like crazy, and because there wasn’t many other options to get the story from, the CNN ratings soared… For a moment.

Here’s the deal: Americans have developed an extremely short attention span. We are over the story. Some of us aren’t, but that major number bump disappeared, proving that the missing plane didn’t matter. It was merely another distraction; a Macguffin to keep our eyes glued to the TV until the next shiny object arrived. It wasn’t even a human interest piece. In truth, very little attention has been paid to people who (more than likely) died on the plane except for in conspiratorial tones. It wasn’t about that at all.

It was about ratings and now those ratings are gone, baby, gone.

Only CNN doesn’t seem to realize that yet.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. If you needed any more evidence that Florida is all fracked up, try this attack on for size. The best part is the kid in the Hollister shirt who says, “I’m really surprised. I didn’t think a bear would ever attack anybody.” Seriously, dude? To quote a friend,  “Are you new?”

It feels like fragility is a fundamental part of the human condition; as though once you gain the capacity to verbally express emotion you also gain the understanding that you have the power to shake the emotions of others. Emotions are tied up in everything we do. This is especially true of perception. We learn see people in one way, be it through repeated exposure or basic stereotyping. When a person doesn’t behave in a fashion that we’ve come to expect, we tend to instantly become defensive and afraid.

Are we not allowed to change our minds? Can’t we evolve? Inevitably it creates a singular presumption in the human mind:  You cannot tell people how you really feel. On the one hand honesty helps us understand how we come across to others. On the other hand, honesty hurts and is often misinterpreted as an attack. Suddenly the truth is a very bad thing. It is a losing bet whose outcome is destined to weaken your position. So you learn to avoid conversations. You embrace compromise and you settle for the cold silence of unspoken thoughts.

Maybe it isn’t that people don’t want to change but that people realize how hard changing is, so they work equally hard to hold on to the memory of what was, working backwards to capture a moment they can never catch–one that has already passed. Changing is hard work, and once you admit that others can do it you have to admit that you can do it yourself. Therefore it is far easier, at times, to spend your energy accepting that people change all the time and you too must change and grow as a result. Changing means leaving your comfort zone, but not changing means that comfort zone is built on an ever shifting foundation and it won’t belong before that foundation crumbles.

 

Today in Jamba Juice I saw a lady with amazing shoes. They were black heels with a strip of some sort of shiny metallic substance near the front. Neat. It got me to thinking about the clothes people wear and the oft inevitable question of, ‘where’d you get that?’ The question seems innocuous on the surface, but there is a deeper meaning at play there. ‘Where’d you get that?’ means where can I go to get that or something like it. Or, in other words, how can I jack your style? This line of thought sent me scurrying down the path of uniformity and led me right back to the question of originality in style. I got to wondering, are any of us trying to create a unique identity in the way we dress or is this all shifting miasma of comfort and conformity?

I spend a decent amount of time at the local skate part watching the talis’ boys three have fun. They don’t dress the part. Most of the other kids are rocking $34.00 Diamond Supply Co tees and Obey skinny pants without getting the point that they’re clothing makes them posers to the culture they claim to be. Or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe we are at the point where the clothing is the culture and entry is gained by buying the right gear and doing a flatground ollie. We see people who we feel are cool or look cool and we all too often decide, ‘I wanna look like that’ or ‘I wanna do that’ allowing our subconscious to seize upon the easy gratification of imitation.

There is a lot to be said for originality. The more I write the more I recognize that stories I most enjoy writing involve creating new things as opposed to finding an exciting angle on something I’ve already done before. Sure, at the heart of it there are only a handful (7, actually) stories any writer can ever tell, just like there are only so many options available with clothing. The key thing to remember is that within those options are a nearly unlimited number of things you can do with clothing (and stories) without being a nameless clone.

If Star Wars was supposed to teach us anything it was that clones don’t think for themselves…(and maybe that light sabers are deeply cool)