Month: November 2014

When it comes right down to it, being a successful writer can be the easiest thing in the world or it can become impossible. There is a potent formula to being a writer. The formula consists of two ingredients that, if portioned appropriately, make for the best writers in the world. Those ingredients are focus and environment .

Time was I could write anywhere. I did my best work on the back of the M1 bus around a bustling crowd of people talking, pushing sighing, all impatient to get home. I hoped the ride wouldn’t end. Sometimes I’d even miss my stop and have to walk back two even three stops because I was lost in a world of my own words. The writing wasn’t about escaping from anything. Writing isn’t an escape. It is a destination. I used to think it was a matter of me escaping from the real world into these epic fantasy realms with walls so high that I could no longer even see the reality around me. It turns out that the walls built from my focus. Brick by brick I would surrender myself to the task of writing the way someone surrenders to prayer or meditation. The story was all that mattered and I would cut myself off from everything else in pursuit of the next powerful line. I still get to that space sometimes but it takes longer to dive deep. I’m a grown up with all the pressures and distractions of adult life. I have a family, friends, teams to coach, even video games designed to rob me of my focus. When I can push all those things aside the words come–reluctantly at first, but after a while they flow freely and I can get lost again.

I cannot get lost just anywhere. The M1 was part of the equation. The noise and energy of a bustling metropolis was part of the energy. I wrote for ever a year about Arizona being the land of white picket fences and slow, boring lives. There really isn’t a whole lot of intention in this state. That makes a difference. Where you live–be it state or home–makes a difference. I live in a place where the family really doesn’t understand what it means to make room for writing, so when I write I leave. Environment is more than physical. It is spiritual, emotional, and intentional. Partly it is about being around go-getters and those who crave more and want to achieve more. Partly it is about being around those who have a desire to understand and nourish the process. Partly it is being a little bit malcontent yourself and needing to satisfy that hunger with the words.

The combination of these two ingredients can be explosive or they can leech the words out of a writer. It is the responsibility of the writer to recognize what their proper mixture looks like and strive to achieve it.

I’m done reading the facts in the M. Brown shooting and I’ve found some clarity, at least for myself.

Taking the facts as they have been presented to the grand jury, I have to say that I agree with the decision. I took a moment to put myself in the officer’s shoes. I’ve already been roughed up by the suspect to the point that I know I won’t win a hand to hand fight. The suspect is rushing me and I don’t have any non-lethal recourse to slow him down. I point my weapon at him and demand that he stops. He continues running at me. At this point there are two choices: flee or stand. When I wrote about the ridiculousness of the stand your ground laws, I was taking into account that these people standing were not in fact officers of the law. The police have an oath to stand their ground. They are the bulwark against the negative elements of our society. So, when a suspect is running at them and they have no other choices but shoot or flee, I say shoot. I don’t say aim for the head.

So here is where the real controversy comes into play for me. I am not going to question a scared officer’s right to shoot in this instance. I do believe the system failed him in multiple ways. He wasn’t trained to incapacitate with his weapon. He wasn’t provided non-lethals. He didn’t have any back up. What happened between young Mr. Brown and Officer Wilson was a tragedy sparked by the attitudes of a police force and the attitudes of a community. So much more could have been in place to prevent this from escalating to the point of death. What I hope more than ever is that there are systems put in place now to help embed the officers in the community to the point where they are seen as asset instead of enemy. These days, everywhere is Compton with people screaming F– the police and violence towards officers becoming more common, or at least far more televised.

There is a lot attached to the Micheal Brown shooting. What happened that day is a symptom of a much larger situation stemming from decades of racial tension not just in this particular town but globally. It is long past the time that we stop sweeping race issues under the rug and hiding behind the supposed racial equality proven by a black president (thanks, Obama). We are a nation that pretends to be color blind, but social science tells us this is impossible. We just pretend not to see race and in that pretending we ignore the utterly devastating effects of indirect racism.

Some Thoughts:

1. Yes, I still believe Obama is a great president. Yes I get that the economy has sucked his entire time in office, but it isn’t about the economy, stupid. We are supposed to be a democracy and we are supposed to believe in higher principles. What Obama got wrong was believing that this country could rise about petty greed and cynicism. Where he failed was where he excelled. He provided hope and then ran into the brick wall of bureaucracy and horse trading that is the U.S. Government. The people initially in place around him to help him get stuff done all moved on to greater personal positions and he was left in the oval office with the B team. Then the republican media engine kicked in and made the world look like everything was Obama’s fault. Thanks, Obama became a meme and stupid people believed it. Now we are headed back into Afghanistan and doing darn near everything we can to go back to 2007. Of course, 2007 is where it all went wrong… Why would we want a do over?

So, the new Star Wars trailer is out and folks are losing their cool about the lead dude being black. There are cries of tokenism and so-called ‘black privilege’ and the requisite number of Thanks, Obama jokes. I allowed myself a few moments to troll the comments and was immediately disgusted. Some–few–were valid cinematographic and plot-like concerns. Admittedly, what I saw seems like a rather fake rendition of the Star Wars lore. There are spots where I could believe this was the work of JJ Abrams and times where I thought my kid’s iphone special effects app had a hand in the crafting. These quick looks don’t tell us enough to be excited but they may reinforce skeptics.

And racists.

The things that were said about the races of the actors need not be shared here, but the general idea was that this film is going to placate the racial masses. To some fans this is a huge disappointment. I suppose those fans only subconsciously are aware of the fact that the comment itself already establishes that the films had previously been placating a white audience–though it seems this wasn’t a problem to the majority of our posters. Keep the status quo and everyone is happy, right? Isn’t that the message The Hunger Games is challenging right now? (though not visually)

I’m not sure how to begin this letter. I want to say thank you and I want to scream out loud. I want to curse you and love you and forgive you and tell my kids about how horrible you are and yet I want to show them how much you can mean to them and what you can do for families. I want to forget about you the way I want to forget about my bald spot. I want to honor you the way I honor Christmas. We have so much history, you and I.

It was back in 1621 when you first came upon us and spread your will. There was good and bad even then. You caused us to break bread with the natives and our pilgrims killed them not weeks later. Still for those three days there was feasting. There was happiness and we all gave thanks.

Today much of the darkness that transpired in early America is overlooked. We remember you as a day to break bread with loved ones and to give thanks for the things we have and the people we have among us. I treat you no differently. Today I give thanks for family and for the friends I hold close. I am thankful for my job and the wonderful woman who first hired me here. I am thankful for books and the ability to write them. I am thankful for my health and for the roof above my head. I am thankful for those who serve in wars and those who serve in civic duty–be it fire, police, or even politics.

I am thankful for my cat, may she rest in peace.

I am thankful for having an ear for music and a wealth of sound and substance to enjoy. I am thankful for this lovely town in which I live and the people here that I love. I am thankful for love itself.

I am thankful for the birth of the universe for that is the birth of me and the ability to think and know and wonder and love and to one day die with my heart full and my life well lived.

For the past few years I’ve been playing in a Turkey Bowl. It started right after I started playing these sunday morning pick up games trying to work my way back into shape. That last part hasn’t happened yet, but the fire of conflict hasn’t dimmed for me one bit. I love competition. I love going head to head against another person in a battle to see who is the better at anything. I always feel like I have a shot to compete–even if I don’t. Fortunately, in the world of Fantasy Football there is a degree of parity and always the outside chance to pull off the big win. This year I am in two leagues. One is with the Turkey Bowlers and my partner and I have to win out to get to the playoffs. A lot of that depends on our ability to gauge what kind of matchups are going to happen and be advantageous this week. In my other league I was able to recognize the Bellicheck strategy and started Tim Wright as a result. His pair of TDs put me over the top. Here are some tips from the waiver wire for those fighting for their playoff lives this week:

 

CHI over DET
The Detroit offense is reeling after two rough weeks in a row. On the other side of the field, Cutler isn’t sucking right now. So long as he’s throwing better than the cutlet, the upgraded fast pass attack ought to be enough to slow an awesome pass rush–especially when you consider the the use of RB screens. Invest in the Bears this week.

DAL over PHI
Dallas isn’t great. Philly isn’t great either, but the run game there is fast and effective. Still, it comes down to a QB who has been exposed once again. The Sanchize is making all the classic mistakes and getting scared. So scared that he’s going away from the best receiver and relying on match ups. DAL isn’t good but they are consistent at the corner position. 1-4 is about the same skill level… I believe Sanchize have another game where he throws one pick too many.

SF over SEA
Two struggling offenses clash. One is at home. The end.

SD over BAL
This is a very tough pick. After Forsett showed signs of life I became a believer in what the Ravens can do. However, SD has been playing much better after their lull and that could spell a loss for BAL.

CLE over BUF

TEN over HOU

IND over WAS

 

NYG over JAX
Odell Beckham almost broke the internet with memes of his ridiculous catch. Imagine the damage that would be done if the Giants actually lose this game. They can’t anyway. The line got much needed rest this week and will be back to playing as they did in the first half against DAL.

MIN over CAR

NO over PIT

OAK over STL

ARI over ATL

NE over GB

DEN over KC

MIA over NYJ
Starting Smith is about seeing if he is going to be a starter next year. He isn’t.

I spent the last week in DC, a stone’s throw away from my home in NYC. Though I didn’t go back, a piece of the city came to me in the form of my mother. She brought me a small treasure trove of memories dating all the way back to 1986. The items she brought helped sprinkle a smile on my face and served as a reminder that though we are not static beings, we are informed by our histories. As a result I’m taking these ten minutes to reflect on DC.

I went to the nation’s capital in order to attend the National Conference for Teachers of English (NCTE) and the young adult author’s workshop after (ALAN). From top to bottom the affair was a clash of social cultures and the coming together of a professional culture–the reader and teacher culture. Over time I’ve learned to mitigate my expectations about conferences. Often you get a lot of presenters rehashing ideas that have been around for a real long time but never formally published or presented, because the people applying the ideas prior to the publishers always viewed them as common sense.

Above all else I learned that nothing in common sense. If I have a really good and simple idea I ought to publish it and try to get on with one of these conventions. Likewise I learned that the people paid to speak at such things often do so for exorbitant fees or personal gain. Keynotes are exorbitant fee breeds, but writers and other ‘in the trenches’ folks are doing it for personal gain–usually for sales.

Some Thoughts:

1. Slow and sleepy night after hours on the plane.

I’m thinking in fragments again. I’ve found this to be an extremely important phase of the writing cycle. Once fragmented I find a well of wonderful ideas—threads—in need of being explored. This is a foundational point in the cycle. This is where ideas are born. The following ten minutes is a free flowing exploration of those thoughts. More may come of it later. I may build characters from these ideas. I may change my mind on stories or political movements. I may just express things that are weighing down my psyche. The truth is, this is really just an opportunity to be free and creative. I think everyone deserves 10 minutes of that.

 

1. I think I want to go to black Friday this year. I want to experience it from a different perspective. I want to go places that aren’t Walmart and see who comes out and how they act and what they buy (as opposed to what is presumed to be important by the sellers).
2. Yesterday I watched the Giants O-Line get their stuff together and look amazing. Then folks got hurt (this happens all the time. Get new trainers. Seriously) and they fell apart. The G-men lost and I was uplifted by the defeat, because I know what they can be every week when the folks are healthy. They might be Giants if healthy. This is unlike the Cardinals who can be incredible even when on the 3^rd string. That’s all about the coaching and the management.
3. Had occasion to reflect on my feelings about transgender and homosexuality today. I was proud of myself to be at a place where I recognize that I can see a person and not judge them because their views on sex and sexuality. Then I recognized that I am quite closed off to people who don’t accept homosexuality and transgender. In other words, If people have expectations on other people that I find personally reprehensible, I am not good at coming to the table with those people and accepting their views. I do it and I try to understand it but struggle to appreciate it. This comes from being a minority and experiencing discrimination and recognizing the struggles that people who aren’t doing ‘the mainstream thing’ or ‘aren’t like the majority’ have. I have more compassion for those who are having the courage to be different than I do for those who are working to keep the ‘different’ isolated and oppressed. That makes me a different kind of bigot, and maybe I’m okay with that.

I haven’t had significant internet access since Thursday night. What should seem like a relatively minor thing to someone born before the internet was created, is actually a really big deal. Take the blog for instance. Here I am uploading three days worth in one day and feeling terribly guilty about it. I also feel less aware about what is going on in the world. I mean I could’ve picked up a newspaper and read something, but the ubiquity of network access has me trained to not only go to the net for news, but to read news in a whole new way.

News on the net is everywhere. I used to write a lot about how the internet allows you to experience the type of news that you decide you want to read or hear. This remains true and I likely do the same thing. I’ll cruise through Digg and CNN and BBC combing for angles on popular stories that tell me the writer did more than ‘mockingjay’ the person who first published on the topic. I’ll also pop open a new tab and go spelunking for more info on the topic and sometimes the writer. This is the beauty of the web—the story doesn’t have to end with the end of the article.

This is the curse of the web—without access to it, the world seems much more two dimensional in terms of information access. I suppose I could watch TV, but I’m not a fan of TV news. I suppose I could rock my phone for internet, but I do so much with music on that platform that I’m afraid of going over my plan limit and paying exorbitant fees.

So finally I was able to get a fairly stable net connection out of my room and I’ve been sitting here through the 5:30 midpoint hacking away at this blog and salivating about the good stuff I’m (hopefully) about to see on the web.

Good webhunting!

Disclaimer: I am a conspiracy theorist, so sometimes my ruminations will take me so deep down the rabbit hole that I have no idea how to crawl back out. For example, when I woke up this morning my web page was open to a CNN front page article about Adam Lanza. This is in the wake of the Florida State Library shooting, and tried to bring attention to the clear connection between mental deficiency and school shootings. My mind, on the other hand, started thinking about how the Lanza case tends to pop up every time people talk about guns in relation to a shooting, but disappears immediately after. I flash back to the work my students did on their ‘mythbuster’ papers and how one set of kids tried to convince me that the Lanza story was a complete fabrication and, for just a moment, I say hmm…

This piece isn’t about that possible hoax. This is about the ‘hoax’ of No Shave November (NSN). I haven’t shaved since the month started and my beard is about to where it can possibly be—which isn’t much. I don’t know think it looks very good. In truth I think the beard makes me look lazy, which is where the hoax comes in.

When I started the NSN, I wondered about my motivations. I only shave twice a month or so, and not having to do it at all felt like another thing being taken off my plate. It did not feel like I was giving something up or working particularly hard to bring attention to any issue or situation. Instead I was left with the impression that this whole thing is actually designed to let dudes off the hook of their responsibilities. Maybe it is. Maybe the whole thing is about the hair itself and when you see the men who haven’t shaved you’re supposed to connect the idea of cancer awareness to those men. I.e. These dudes are hip and real and do what they can to get the message out about prostate cancer. In contrast, the shaved men are not any of those things and or don’t give a dang. Only the shaved men outnumber the bearded few by a horrific scale. In other words, the message isn’t getting out there the way it should and is partly resulting in making us ‘not-so-long beards’ look really lazy.

I think Wednesday morning represented some kind of invisible line; a turn which once I’d made I could never come back from. I was sitting in class with a slew of much younger people and talking about vaping. Up until that point I hadn’t quite seen the parallels between my youth and their own. I was raised in an era where cigarettes were slowly fading into the realm of the unclean. Here now is a student vaping in the middle of class and presuming that it is totally okay.

Vaping is the new form of smoking. It is the term applied to people smoking vapor cigarettes. As I understand it a cartridge of nicotine is loaded into a water solution and processed through a small pipe or cigarette like device that permits you to exhale ‘harmless’ vapors into the air. This is so new that many locations (including my college) don’t have rules in place governing where you can or cannot smoke. As a result students are smoking that stuff in class without the slightest concern for whether or not it is disruptive to the environment.

It isn’t disruptive, really, but it is rather weird and difficult to comprehend in the context of my own personal history. That’s the turn I speak of. Growing up in an era where smoking was so heavily criticized it is foreign to recognize that I live in an era where a form of smoking is about to take off and start the cycle all over again. In a sense, history is repeating itself and I am at once the holdover codger of a bygone era struggling to recognize a world that no longer makes sense to me.

Or I’m just being a melodramatic talislegger talking about a relatively small-scale phenomena and equating it to a much broader cultural shift. You be the judge.