I know that Mondays are my natural night for self-reflection, but sometimes revelations–even epiphanies–need to be addressed the moment they happen. This one is a long time coming I suppose. I also suppose those who know me best may wonder how I missed it for 37 years. Heck, I cannot even believe I am 37 years old (which is quite old to me still–nearly 40 y’know), so that explains why what is right in front of my face is so hard to see.
If all people have a fight or flight response, my response mechanism to intense work is flight. It damned me in football. It damns me as I try to get back in shape, and it damns me most of all as a writer. Presently I am working on a handful of contract assignments and a ton of grading for classes. I am, of course, behind. The issue is complicated by three kids, but as I’ve gotten older I have found my way to more excuses and fewer answers. I am struggling, not with motivation, but with understanding how to fathom the waters of work I find myself drowning in.
The web tells me it is all in my head. Jerry Oltion of the Science Fiction Writer’s Association says I should set page quotas per day. Good idea, Jerry, but I struggle to find reasonable consequence for the failure to meet quota. I don’t really have money to put aside, and if forced to do so it would only be a benefit. I hardly have time to game, so withholding that is equally useless.
What about reaching my potential?
Malcolm Gladwell says if I work 6 hrs a day at my craft, it should take me roughly four and a half years to reach my potential as a writer (this discounts experience thus far). So, maybe in that time I will have it beat. Of course, I don’t devote that time to the craft or the required responsibilities.
I guess it requires going back to the beginning and back to scheduling and sticking to the basics. I suppose I need to do what I tell everyone else to do. I need to carve out 3hrs of my day and dedicate it to the craft–be it through grading work, reading it, or writing it. Maybe an hour minimum for each.
The trick is to get started and ignore the weight of the work around me. That has, and continues, to be the hardest part. I need to look inside myself, find that block of time and use it.