10 Minute Rule

Over time a writer hits a rhythm that transcends the spectrum of multiple stories, poems, or books. It becomes a workflow with ideas and plots stacking up neatly in the queue allowing the writer to move from one story to the next pausing only to reload emotionally or to refresh themself on ideas and let the input of the world filter in through their senses.

Every successful writer I know talks about tackling multiple projects at once. When one becomes onerous they can step away for a moment and move to the next project and then back again, leaving each in various stages of completion or disrepair. I personally have been keeping a word tally, given the specific nature of the two novellas I am writing and the impending (read: past and quickly approaching in that order) deadlines for the books. I see these numbers and know I am falling behind, but I am reassured that the process works and the finished product will be worth the wait.

I am devoted to being a realist on this page. Writing is hard. Often the most difficult moments are the set pieces that push everything in your story forward. For me I find more excitement in the moments leading to and away from those crafted scenes. I can write those quickly and in that writing, unfortunately I tend to craft interactions that force the scripted set pieces to be rescripted and redesigned and often informed by outside research. This too is the difficult nature of my writing style and where I am now.

In the weeds. Trying to finish a book that ought to be done.

Back to work then.

Not a lot to say, so straight into…

Some Thoughts:

1. Great writing day. I was able to do a lot of clean up work in terms of finishing the first draft of the novella. It is not done, but it is a lot closer.
2. Sadly, this puts me way behind schedule for the next one, so I am going to need to get speedy in order to make up time without sacrificing quality.
3. Purchased the new Madden on pre-order. So much for boycotting the wackness that is franchise mode.
4. House is getting closer to being done. The floors are slowly being installed and that is exciting. As I continue the install I find that there are more and more things that need to get done and will cost money.. like the toilets needing to be replaced. Ahh, the life of a homeowner.
5. I am grateful to have a job that allows me the opportunity to pay for such things.
6. I am grateful in general of the life I am living. Things are good. They are not perfect, because not everyone is happy and, as it turns out, my threshold for happiness is lower than most. Still I cannot be entirely happy unless my partner is happy.

I try to make this blog about the truth of the writing process and the influences that conspire to build story in my head. This is a tough but honest truth to share: I have a novella due tomorrow and I am not going to make that deadline. I am burned out today. I struggle from a mix of anger flare ups as a result of lack of sleep and a basic disconnect from the voice and place of the character. When I write I need to feel I am right there next to the character, experiencing the situation alongside them. Right now I feel like I am watching the character through a dirty sheet where it is all shapes cast through the light of the space which he is in and I am not. This is the toughest time in the writing process, because I don’t know how to write through it. I just know that I don’t know what to do other than try to go about my evening, which on the outset feels ruined by the experience.

Tomorrow I will start fresh. Tomorrow I will struggle to balance the responsibilities of being a good partner with being a good writer, and making certain I don’t tip too deeply towards hermitage as is my way. Balance is a terribly difficult thing to achieve and perhaps moreso as a writer than as a fairy on the tip of a needle.

Of course, that could also be the fatigue speaking–reaching up through the concrete towards my feet to drag me down into a certain blissful oblivion.

Been listening to a conversation on Cyberpunk and the roots, future, and the possibly continuing existence of the genre. I keep hearing that cyberpunk is dead. In truth people have been throwing dirt on the genre since the darn thing was invented. By all accounts dystopia and cyberpunk have a very close relationship and the emergence of Neal Stephenson started the post-cyberpunk movement.

I would argue that cyberpunk is not about the technology. It is not about the specific tech but about the idea of how the tech is used, how we react to technology, etc. Post-cyber focused on technologies that were still emerging as well as biotech and other possibilities such as nano. The issue we are dealing with in terms of naming is really about the tech and what sort of darkness was being suggested. Am I wrong in suggesting the darkness suggested by these novels and art et al is legitimately a part of our world though not to the extent suggested?

I still write cyberpunk. I still believe in its existence and power. It doesn’t have to be called cyberpunk, but lets not forget the message.

As it appears there will be some form of an NFL season, there seems a need to consider the fantasy draft and associated draft picks. We haven’t even seen the full impact of Covid-19 as players begin to opt out of the season. It seems to me that opting out might be seen as tantamount to not loving the game. This might have lasting locker room repercussions. Or it might not. t is hard to say how things have been negotiated from team locker room to team locker room, and what role the NFLPA plays in all this.

Given that this season is going to go on, we ought to be thinking about who to draft. Here are my top sleeper picks at the QB position:

Kyler Murray, Josh Allen

The safe bet out of the two is… well there is no safe bet where these two are concerned. The fact is they both ought to have great seasons and with the focus on flashier QB prospects like Cam Newton, this is a good chance to buy low–especially in the middle rounds.

This is my first worldcon and it is happening virtually. They’ve made a point of reminding me that this is virtual and why–snatching from me the illusion that this was a purposeful exchange. No, we are forced into the virtual realms and in spite of that we are going full steam into this new adventure.

I’m involved with a conference in AZ that has been forced to go virtual. Worldcon is my chance to explore how such things can be done effectively, and thus far it has been a solid experience. The idea of a virtual conference is antithetical to the community driven idea of the conference which has existed thus far. Worldcon lives in part on Discord while the population I deal with hasn’t evolved beyond facebook. There is no real choice to ‘move past that population’. In truth, I would not even want to. We serve that population and while I would like to serve more, I don’t want to leave anyone behind in the process.

We are building a virtual con designed to reach all populations–a difficult task to be sure–and to get folks writing. I am excited about this opportunity and looking forward to creating something that builds off of what I am learning here.

Some Thoughts:

1. School might not start when it is supposed to. This Covid thing is not going away, largely because we will not let it.

I’ve been binging Alias with the hopes of getting some joy out of it and a fuller sense of the story JJ Abrams is trying to tell. Well, I am getting joy out of it. JJ Abrams feels like the ultimate fanboy in many ways. He is the writer I am afraid to become–someone who is intimately familiar with structure and history of storytelling but doesn’t have anything to say himself. That is what I’ve learned through 17 episodes of Sydney Bristow running around the globe. And I do mean running.

She runs a lot. She runs in heels and boots and sneakers and, generally speaking, anything form-fitting. She runs into trouble and we are reminded that this is a fun show as she kicks her way out of that trouble. Once that is over we are introduced to a complication that usually reveals itself right before a scene or even episode break. Thus is the way of the Abrams. This way of suspense is both engaging and infuriating, yet I find joy in it somehow. That is why the man stays in business. He clearly knows what he is doing and he is very good at dragging us kicking and screaming into his mystery. That’s the part of him I want to become. The part where it feels hollow at the end is the part I want to avoid.

Perhaps you can have one without the other?

Some Thoughts:

1. I’m getting more and more excited about the move and anxious as well. I want it to be happening. I want to finish the base layout of the space and focus on aesthetics.
2. I wish I had the funds to make the backyard wonderful and to by a Jugs machine,
3. I really want that Jugs machine.

Going through my home (which is roughly 4000 sqft) I realize that the move is going to require an epic amount of downsizing. I will be losing the precious square footage of a garage to store the boxes and boxes of stuff I have accumulated over the years. How much of that stuff is needed? Not very much of it, I suppose. I have a ton of sports equipment that needs to find a place in the home, and we have a shed that, I hope, will be a home for that gear. Beyond that, the only stuff of note to require storage is holiday supplies.

On the surface it sounds simple: just get rid of your stuff. Yes, on the surface. In reality it is a lot of work to reduce your worldly possessions and decide what you do not actually want or require. Just going through my office alone has been a personal nightmare. The office has a closet that remains unexplored. I know there is stuff in there I need. I know. I gave a lot of thought to turning my personal space in the new garage into a music lab–a place to store all that nice DJ gear– but I have since soured on the idea, realizing I have not put any real time into music in years and, while I can store gear in there, it is probably best to avoid pulling it out and taking up otherwise precious space.

I act like I am moving into a tiny hole, but the reality is we will have 1500 sqft of living space that is not already occupied or accounted for in which we can add stuff to the stuff. It still means a major compression of 4k into 1.5 K and that 4 likely does not include the aforementioned garage.

I am nervous about all of this, because I fear that I will be giving up things I have long claimed to need but probably don’t. It is necessary and uplifting to ‘KondoMari’ the shit out of my life, but it is also uncomfortable and scary. I am experiencing all of it now and at once.

As my partner has told me in recent weeks, my writing process makes it hard for other people to be around me when I write. In truth, my ‘me’ process makes it difficult for people to be around me. While there are times where my writing process is a quiet and contemplative slag in which the only sound and motion is my fingers repeatedly striking the keys until it creates a rhythm, this is not the only way. Often I write with inspirational sounds, soothing sounds, or even TV shows cluttering the background soundscape. I draw from these things like drawing in air. Again, not always, but sometimes.

I feel like part of the move and part of the change is about changing my process and doing the writing a different way–accepting the collaborative nature of the writing and the relationship in a way I never have before. On the one hand I may be in the middle of a major spurt of writing and need to take a moment to focus on my partner and her needs. That is unfamiliar, but good and healthy and something I really want to do–and to be able to do. I get caught up in this idea of ‘got to get it down right away or it is gone’ and she has always been respectful of that. She has never hindered my process, but instead always helped and guided me as though my muse.

She is my muse. Now my muse and I share an office, and while that is going to take some getting used to for both of us, I believe it is the beginning of a beautiful journey.

Yep. A thing.

This is the day and space where I spend 10 minutes writing a story off the top off my head based on a random word I find online. Today’s word is:

Ulosis

They say that muscle gets stronger by breaking. The tissues pull and tear apart, straining under the pressure of exertion until they can no longer take it. The, broken and drained, they rest. They heal. They knit themselves back together because they have to. The muscles must be ready in the morning, because the body is going to keep moving; keep living in spite of itself. For a normal person a 3rd of your body weight is muscle. A third of yourself tears itself apart in a never-ending quest to support you; to deal with the stress and weight of simply being.

What they don’t talk about is the small percentage of you that doesn’t survive. Occasionally that stress–that weight of daily living of pushing yourself beyond that which you are accustomed to–that stepping outside of your zone tears down the toughest third of you in a way that cannot be fixed. Instead of knitting itself together another process begins. Ulosis.

It starts in the part of you that you felt was the safest–the strongest. Where the muscles tried to knit themselves back stronger the bonds can no longer grip. The muscle and skin thicken, hardening along the gossamer cord of that idea of self repair. Not ever injury can be repaired. Some leave a mark. Often it is small, barely noticiable or a sliver beneath the skin. Other times it is more. A visible thing that bears witness to your pain; your failure.

Ulosis is but the start of a scar. The formation of this new thing you carry with you. This new way of understanding and interacting with the world.