10 Minute Rule

As I move closer to teaching my first ever Cli-fi class I find myself thinking about the roots of this genre. Specifically, I am thinking about the big questions that Cli-fi seeks to address. Primarily I think cli-fi is about our relationship with the environment. It is in fact a relationship, with all of the feelings and doubts and agenda that ought to be associated with that term.

We are in a relationship with this planet and we are absolutely taking it for granted. I think cli-fi rises out of that association. I think that the genre speaks to those who are hurt, ignored, abused, overlooked, and under appreciated. When we see nature we tend to see it in terms of what we want or need from it. We see what we want to use or take or even change until it is so boxed off and manipulated that what we called nature doesn’t actually ever look a such. When we hear stories or see films about post-apocalypse the first thing we tend to observe is how fast nature got over us. Unless we’ve created a nuclear wasteland most of the places I’ve seen as of late in readings and even my own words are green.

This matters because we see ourselves in an abusive relationship with the planet and we see this earth as the protagonist in that story. We see ourselves in a much more negative light.

My sister is in a fantasy football league and she is winning. I’m not entirely surprised, because she is a strange form of me (though not by blood). Still, she didn’t invite me to the league, which also works because I know she wants to do this on her own. I’m going to force my way in next year and beat her. Because I can.

In the meanwhile her abilities and my obsession with the Madden franchise have me ready to leap back into the fray. I’m learning how to recognize teams beyond the narrative the media and perhaps even the team wants you to believe. For example, I can tell you that the Raiders and the Giants are legitimately racing to the bottom in search of a retool. The Raiders are expecting to build from the draft (Gruden guys) and the Giants will be building from free agency and backfilling from late draft picks. How do I know? They are dumping salary before the trade deadline. They dumped Eli Apple before needing to resign him in 2 and they dumped ‘Snacks’ to save 8 million. They didn’t get higher than a 4th for either player. As a result, they are down some major pieces on defense and it doesn’t look like anyone is trying to fill them right now. Giants want to see what they have–at every spot save for the QB. I’m not clear on what is happening there.

It needs to be resolved.

Some Thoughts:

1. Met with a student today who is taking a 1 on 1 course with me. He reminded me how it felt to be really passionate about being a writer. I’m talking about the life and the work and the world that writing opens. He’s passionate about all of it and that is refreshing. It is something I need to get back to.
2. D2 Championships for Youth Football. It should be a fun game to coach. The opposing team’s offense is super easy to scheme and I doubt they realize how much film study I’ve done breaking it down. Truthfully, it didn’t take long. Now to execute…

The thing that scares me most about this time in America is the openly partisan separation that has come to define our relationships with each other. Politics have largely superseded religion in terms of conflict points. Why? Because we have an ‘enemy’ religion in Islam and that battle is largely being played out far beyond our borders. We have an enemy class in immigrants and that battle is being waged in the media and along the border. All of these battles are encapsulated in the partisan battle. One side feels we need to militarize the border. That same side favors increased aggression against muslims. 

This is a simplified assessment of a complicated political divide. However, I believe the divide itself is largely fabricated. Most people don’t define themselves by one issue. The flexibility and nuance of humanity argues that you can believe in one concept that feels liberal and still be conservative in other areas. Political pundits argue the same, separating groups into social and or fiscal conservatives or liberals. However, it is easier and cheaper to divide us along binary lines and tell people they need to be one or the other, because the other is the enemy. The other is bad and not us and, generally speaking, un-American, because both sides can’t be American because they believe in different things. 

I would argue that believing in different things is the soul of the American dream. We function as a country and we excel as a people because we have different ideas that must be measured and vetted and argued. I believe the polarization of our nation removes the ability to argue. There is no longer discourse. There is only us and them and ‘us’ makes all the rules until ‘they’ come into power and change them all.

My partner is sleeping quietly in the next room. She told me to wake her by 10 if she didn’t stir on her own, but I can’t do that. She isn’t 100% so I’m going to give her a few more minutes to get right. 4 more minutes to be exact. It isn’t much, but it also isn’t so much that I’ve made her feel rushed to get to the rest of her day. Being rushed and overwhelmed seems to be a condition of life for us both lately. Between an onslaught of classes, grading, and the rigors of raising our kids it can be hard to carve out time to keep ourselves balanced. 

I’m teetering on the edge of illness. I feel it swirling around me like a crow circling the road after a car has made short work of a squirrel. The sick is simply waiting for a chance to land. Meanwhile I am fighting it with all of the vitamins I can. I’m not resting. I don’t have time for that. I have always wondered about that statement–having time. I recognize that I find time to play a video game every so often or find time to watch two hours of TV. Why then can’t I find time to sleep? That is a matter of priority. I place more value on those other activities than I do on the act of resting my bones. I feel like watching shows and playing games helps me mentally. It is an escape from the rigors of daily life to the point where it has become my dessert for daily life. However, on those days when I should be home working and catching up, it can become the main course. This is why I need to find a way to balance myself. 

Mondays are a good opportunity to reflect because they represent the start of the week for me. Today I plan to dive into that pile of grading, work with my students, and try to create a plan for the week that offers a bit more balance than the see saw tilt that has come to define my days and nights and finds me on the verge of sickness and finds my partner still slumbering. 

But later. I have to wake her up now.

This post was deleted due to some strange technical difficulties. It seems silly to rewrite it the next day. It was about Trump, so maybe the deletion was not entirely my doing?

They canceled Iron Fist a few weeks ago. They canceled Luke Cage just yesterday. I cannot help but think that something untoward is going on here. This may simply be a numbers decision, but my brimming mindsea of suspicion argues that there is more to this situation. Perhaps both shows were canceled as a way to create a joint show? Perhaps the narratives spun themselves out?

Honestly, any speculation this even would be a deep dive into the depths of that mindsea, which is presently polluted with the waters of dissolution. Maybe it is best if I just spent the remaining time falling into…

Some Thoughts:

1. I’ve recently come to the realization that unless you are willing to change everything you are not really willing to change everything. I need to meditate on that a lot longer, because change isn’t an independent thing. 
2. Sometimes tolerance and acceptance are absolutely poisonous. 
3. Ruinous even.
4. My sister has a fantasy football league. She did not invite me. I’m a bit pissed about that now.
5. When misery and disappointment are as common a feeling as the love you bring to the person you love the most, maybe the problem is you. 
6. 
   

I had my first Minecraft meditation in months today. For those of you new to the concept, a Minecraft meditation is in some ways the opposite of mindfulness meditation. In the Minecraft meditation the idea is to separate the mind from the body and allow your brain to slip into parts of the Brahmavih?ras. Specifically, this form of meditation helps me to experience metta and strive towards upekkha.

This is pretty heady stuff for Minecraft. Yet the crafting is what makes it go. A Minecraft meditation requires the game and an audio dharma talk to go with it. The crafting gives my body and senses something to do. I dig holes. The present iteration of this has me digging towards the 0, 15, 0 coordinates on the map, so I can erect King’s Dark Tower on the spot and surround it with roses. While my body digs I am also listening to the Dharma talk and it is shifting me into a highly reflective state. In this state I can reflect on my life and the universe I live in. I find peace and happiness with my body locked into the repetition of the action and my mind freed up to consider the profound.

 

Let me start off by saying the sports media can absolutely eat my shorts. You are gonna sit behind that desk and tell me how the Giants should’ve drafted one of these Qbs in the first round and pass on Barkley? No disrespect to Barkley? Come on, man! He is clear and away running away with offensive rookie of the year. These QBs the Giants should’ve taken and put behind that hodge podge line? Where are they now?

I can tell you Josh Rosen was threw 1 TD and 3 picks tonight, basically dumping off the ball on the way to 194 yards in 21 completions. He’s junk right now. I’m not even going to name the guy in Buffalo. The Jets got a guy who reminds me a lot of other failed USC QBs. He looks good on film until you really break down the film and the stats. If you have a back breaking for 200 yards a game behind a monster line  you can do damage in play action. Most of Darnold’s yards come from PA deep tosses. The rest are generally under 12 yards and also usually to the right side of the field. He’s a few games from being really exposed. 

Meanwhile Barkley is tearing up the league and college QBs like Drew Lock are proving that they are ready to step up to the next level in the draft. The Giants will probably get a guy in the draft this year or pick up Derek Carr when the Raiders inevitably move on from him. When the next guy gets here he will be incredibly grateful for the time and picks spent building a line and skill players for him to grow.

Wow, I really did lay a stinker yesterday. Let this be a lesson, dear reader, don’t write while fatigued. Consider it the way you do those warnings on the healing teas and cough medicine. Don’t operate heavy machinery, like a pen. The weight of the thing is often heavier than that of the sword. Yes, I paraphrased Edward Bulwer-Lytton, and I’m kind of proud of that fact. It makes me feel good–well read even–to be able to quote people and reference good writing. It is a form of the garbage in/garbage out theory that suggests that good writing being consumed is highly suggestive of good writing being spewed out. Of course, good ingredients are only a part of making the meal. You need to be a smart and I dare say crafty writer.

Once upon a time (that is code for I’m not digging back through the archive to find the post) I wrote about the qualities of a good writer. What it takes most of all is the dedication to lead that kind of lifestyle. I was picking up my kids from my ex the other night and noticed that she was reading a book. I mean actually reading. She had a book splayed open on the couch and the TV was off. I cannot recall the last time I sat at home and read a book. I’m so immersed in the culture of moving images that the stillness of words feels deeply foreign, like a vacation to a place I long to visit over and again. 

Being a part of that culture of stillness is a great deal of what it takes not only to be a writer but to write well.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. First time I’ve seen a particular student in about two weeks and she suddenly looks pregnant. I won’t ask, because she might not be…
2. Tomorrow will be Waiver Thursday…

I’m literally phoning this one in. I figured mobile works. I’m run down to the point where I don’t want to get the computer out. This is not about disrespecting the value of the blog but acknowledgement of how truly tired I am. 

This both takes longer and is happening as I dan d in and out of consciousness. This ten is far weaker than earlier work. I suppose I need to lay a stinker once in a while