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I keep on checking in on my Spring II course as if I expect to have missed something. It is a FLEX course, which I am learning is code for a course taught in all three modes. One can attend in person, online or take some hybrid version of the situation. This, to me as a teacher, is the worst. I cannot begin to develop atmosphere when my students aren’t even necessarily going to show up. All of that has me twisted and curious about the class. It also has me thinking hard about the writing I am expected to do for the class. The Justice Engine needs to get rolling. I am supposed to be working on it and a half-dozen other things (some of which are past due). I am trying to lock down these writings at present, and it has been tough to get and stay focused for any decent length of time. I’m tired and stressed and dealing with high BP and not able to focus.

Yet, here I am.

I can get through this if I do it one day at a time, and one chunk at a time. A lot of writing is organization and time on task. I’m realigning myself to being better at both and that is going to help me tackle the work.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “African antelope on the loose in Nashville neighborhood” So, one time I was visiting Tennesee and I wound up at this very very odd animal auction where I saw a few Oryx as well as Capybara and other oddities. It was bonkers then and it is bonkers knowing one got free. Run, little guy, run.
2. I am so tired of hearing asian women scream. It sounds like a very odd thing to say, but if you have kids who watch anime, you’ll definitely get it.

After a BP reading of 160/104 yesterday, I had to think about a lot of things in my life. Mortality, of course, but also all of the levers and choices that got me to that point. Today the BO is down 30/10 and I’m pretty sure it has a lot to do with not compounding stress with bad eating and no exercise. I do believe I have a chance to live, if I choose to live right. I need to stop eating as many sweets (less is more) and salty foods as I do. These things I do are the way I cope with overwhelming stress, which I tend to refer to as ‘my living in AZ condition’. I know what triggers me–anyone following the blog especially this week knows what triggers me. However, having the levers flipped and consinuing to spiral on my own is going to get me killed. Then we’re going to need to call her the Widow Talis and I am not here for it.

I am here for trying to live right. I exercised yesterday and following this blog I’ll get at it again. I don’t do very much, but what I do is a start. Being a terribly lazy person, it is hard for me to get anything started. Once the engine is up and running, I can keep it going. The startup process is closer to starship than an engine, however. Lots of levers. I started laying out my goals for the next 90 days, and that is one of those levers. I even got one done.

So, progress…

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Dealing with Iran war is ‘easy,’ Trump says. College athlete pay? Not so much” Trump goes on to say, “I saw what was happening with college sports. And it doesn’t sound very important compared to what’s happening in Iran and other places,” he said. “But it is very important to me. And if I can get it done, I’ll get it done.” To which I say, “No, you won’t. Cannot happen.”
2. Absolutely Expected Headline of the Day: “Ian Huntley, one of UK’s most notorious child killers, has died, days after being attacked in prison” I mean, yeah.

I’ve come to the (late) conclusion that Jason Statham has been doing the same movie for the past two decades, really. It’s called F**k around and Find Out. Sure it goes my a number of titles, Homefront, The Beekeeper, A Working Man, The Wrath of Man… It is all really the same thing. Statham is chilling, doing his thing, either as a single dad or just a dude laying low and quietly expecting not to be messed with. Then someone does. If not to him then to someone he cares about. Suddenly bro steps up and starts handing out the most epic whippings of the year. Then, after the beatings are done being handed out, he wanders back off into the ether.

I think this should be a genre of film in of itself. It’s already a trope: Don’t mess with the Nice Guy. It’s becoming more and more of a theme in modern films with Statham being the poster boy for such things. It feels like the conversation (or desire) being had and held by a generation of angry mostly American men. It feels like the base of a good deal of political fury, but I don’t want to talk politics. The conversation always starts with the bully. That person says or does something to provoke the nice guy, leading the nice guy to show them how this actually works. What concerns me is that the people who preference this model tend to be the ones who want to be bullies, not the ones who want to be prepared. They are often the same dude who packs heat waiting to use it. They want to be Roadhouse but are on the wrong side of the road. Always.

That’s the thing about fantasy and fantasizing… I’m recognizing a generation of men raised on this sort of fiction and hoping desperately to become what they see. They want to be John Wick. They isn’t going to end well for any of us.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Punch the orphan macaque is outgrowing his plushie and making friends” This is one of the most popular stories in the world right now. It’s cute.. and wild.

I still get baited by these kids sometimes. I think the difference is knowing when it comes from a place of love vs a place of indifference and even contempt. A love nourished bait I can handle, consider, and even accept as a possible personal issue to consider. The other ones feel false and less about me and more about the chance to say something and feel strong or interesting or intelligent or , more likely, more like an insider and me the outsider.

I’m not here for it—not in my own merged family. Being married and beigg bf part of all this means a lot to me and probably more than it does to any of the individual children subject to the merger It can feel like the Middle Ages here sometimes, like I came in and they resent my being here because of what it means to their comfort and progression.

so I can get a little salty depending on where the words come from. I’m adult enough to remove myself from the space before I respond in a way that upsets the delicate balance that is a merged home. Still learning how to do all this and be comfortable on all of this.

doesn’t always go well.

Some Thoughts

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the day: “‘Christ is king’ becomes a loaded phrase in US political debates, especially on the right” You think??

Happy New Year of the Blog!

Okay, well, I kinda forgot that this was going to be that day after all the hype about writing it up big the day of the new year. Was it actually yesterday, or is the 366 actually the day? Was last year a leap year? I know none of these answers. Here’s what I know: I’m in the second year of the 8th era of the ten minute rule. Funny how eras and dates work, eh? Been thinking about that in terms of how the Japanese shape their own system as well as the Aztecs. Here we just go with “Jesus died, so that’s our reset.” Needless to say I have problems with the format. I try to limit the things I allow myself to have a problem with to the span of one hand. It’s like that four burner philosophy so many business people use, but for other people’s bullshit. To quote another trite business phrase, “I don’t have the bandwith” which is utterly true. Traditionally, Burners are Family, Work, Health, and Friends…. Can you guess what two live at the back of my stove? My scale can argue for one of them.

Meanwhile, I am still supposed to be reflecting on a year gone by. I don’t have time for it (bandwith again…). Instead, I have just enough time to share…

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Hawks plan a Magic City tribute night with lemon pepper wings, T.I. and merch” For context, Magic City is a Strip Club. A strip club they are referring to as a ““iconic cultural institution,” Just saying…
2. I also could’ve gone with “Viral phenomenon in Argentina has young people identifying themselves as animals” with that Hopper movie coming out, this hits a little bit on the nose as of late…
3. Things I think I think: Students don’t want feedback so much as they want fans and a pat on the back.

It is hot in Arizona. Like 90 degrees type hot. In March. Not the end, but the very beginning of the month. I’m done with this nonsense. We gotta start thinking about the places we live and the concept of weather itself. Our weather here is hot, then hot, then maybe I could grab a jac—no, wait it’s hot. Followed by dust, and dust, and raining so hard that people’s stuff floats away (more of a lack of drainage issue IMHO), then hot again. This is not the way. I was so much more happy in New York.

But I’m here. And I am unhappy with so many things.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Florida coach Jon Sumrall’s photoshoot with a 7-foot alligator includes some tense moments” I mean, why?! Like seriously, Florida. There has to be a shred of sense in the state… I’m just not seeing it.
2. Had an interesting conversation with a writer today who used AI to help finish his work. AI was his editor, though he did human editorial passes as well. Here’s the thing: LLM’s are here and they are embedded into the culture of the next generation no matter what. I’m willing to bet cold cash that many many authors are using AI. I suspect some are lying to our faces about it. Straight up. I’m talking about a specific artist who claims he writes and rewrites scenes over to the tune of like a million words that never get seen… And drops two books a year.
3. Relatives (specifically those of the ex-variety) who don’t have kids but act like your kids are theirs and they are doing more than you need to be deported immediately to a country w shall name shit-ass-istan. Treat it like that Island from Attack on Titan. Except the only thing that gets really big is their heads.

I turned to foxnews.com for a hot second. I needed to know what the Spin looks like. It looks like we were about to be attacked by Iran at home and this was saving lives. Yeah, no. Spin is a powerful thing, and the truth (as well as what you said like a day ago) is irrelevant, but sooner than later anyone who was on the fence is going to start jumping off in one direction or the other. Here’s hoping they jump away from Fox and the Spin. This has gotten very very stupid. The metronomic fluctuations of the stock market today suggest to me that people are making a ton of cash off this stuff too.

I can’t even rant about it. There’s not anything to say. This is who we are now, whether we support the madness or we don’t. I’m done blogging about it.

For now at least.

Time to get back to talking about writing and about teaching and the work it takes to get talent across the finish line, because man, it is work.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “US says Kuwait mistakenly downed 3 American jets during Iranian attacks” Nah, but, who’s gonna pay for that?

So, this is a rant.

I tried playing NBA2k26… Not interesting enough. Nothing is! I am struggling with my gamer headspace lately. I cannot seem to find anything worth my time and I am desperately looking for something to do instead of writing… Maybe that is the problem there. I keep looking for distractions, but keep wandering back to the same central issue of needing to write and get me right. I suppose that means falling back into listening to fiction while I play Minecraft. That, or try another space explorer. We’ll see how I mix those two.

Rant over. Let’s talk about better stuff.

I want to do that now before I get into reading about this war we find ourselves in, and get to thinking about what that actually means in terms of what is going to be happening across the world in the coming weeks, months, and years. We truly live in dark times, so I need to find something light and energizing to balance that growing darkness. Today is was watching my dog see his mate for the first time in a long time. His mate lives with our daughter and we don’t bring them together very often because our dog is, well, spastically energetic. It’s fun to watch, but the aftermath and collateral damage tends to be a lot. They’re good together after a few days but for that first bit, he’s nuts. Still, seeing him like that has me thinking about the joy that creatures fall into when they are around what they love. The energy generated is so great to me. I love seeing it.

Didn’t hurt to see my kid either.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Israel has closed Gaza crossings and Palestinians are scared” We all know where this is heading. Sadly, I’m pretty certain Israel is the bad guy in this one.
2. I ought to be recording this in real time. They’ll try to massage a new truth out of it shortly…
3. Locking in. Goal Journals out and ready. Let’s get good.

As I was walking back to the bathroom on my near-empty flight from New York City, I noticed one of the stewardesses using ChatGPT to write something. It resonated with what my brother had said earlier in the day. He reminded me that this is how things are now, and what we are really trying to figure out is if the masses are going to gravitate to one of the two main public models (Claude and ChatGPT) or if the price point is such that they’re going to go the way of Napster et al, and start using these freely available Chinese models. I know Americans. We want it free and fast. We’re going to use that free Chinese… until the government says we cannot.

Freedom. MAGA.

I realized something else too. MAGA doesn’t actually GAF, and a lot of the people who are “MAGA” are not political beyond this moment and the idea that they are attached to something so polarizing and scarily powerful. In other words, they’re fair-weather fans who can claim the winning team. I’m not saying this is everyone, but the least mature of the bunch are certainly of that flavor. This isn’t merely the rank-and-file voters that consume Fox News and lose all sense of perspective. Some of the people we voted in are mentally mean girls and bullies. Consider Lorena Boebert. Recently she snapped a photo during a closed hearing and sent it off to her influencer friend who immediately posted it. Illegally. Both of them were chasing clout. They wanted to look cool and connected and show off like, well, mean girls. This is the script for so many cyber-bullying commercials and after-school specials. Now the specific here are a bit more interesting—Boebert sided with the Republicans to keep the hearing private vs. public while the person being interviewed, Hillary Clinton, vocally clamored for it to be public. When the photo was snapped they complained she was trying to hide stuff and keep the haring out of the public eye. That’s the spin. Reality is meaningless in this regard. They just want to win and don’t care what the reality looks like after they take the victory photo.

This is why Iran is not going to end well. Everything since we screwed this up back in the 70’s tells us Iran isn’t going to end well.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: I don’t even need to post it. Y’all know we invaded Iran and took out the entire leadership. Cool, huh? Maybe to the people who don’t realize we’ve done this stupid dance before…
2. Youngest ran his first meet of his JR season. Not bad. Near PR’s across the spectrum. Needs to get his lick back.
3.  

I am having a troublingly hard time being home. It isn’t for a lack of love of place or people. The fact is, my mother presses all the wrong buttons. She is a difficult woman when it comes to me, because she at once demands fealty and demeans. It is as though my role is to be beneath her and she needs me to love that. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to remain quiet and let her say her stuff in her spin and tell me all these things about what is right and wrong and what I should do and how I should live and simply remain quiet throughout the process. I no longer have the same patient tolerances for holding my tongue and eating my sadness. I admit it leaks out and infects everything else. I’m pretty sure I got into a spat with the Lady Talis last night over an unrelated matter simply as a result of being maxed out.

I love here. I cannot live here.

In spite of all the good there is also so much familial strife that is not good. I feel like I am sacrificing the overall happiness of everyone for these incredible moments of happiness from simply walking around and being happy in a thriving vibrant place where people actually want progress. Not to sound too political, but perhaps that is a fundamental difference of the baseline republicans and democrats. Most of the Republican places I’ve been to or lived in don’t much like the change. The sameness (or turning back the clock) is the way they want it.

Makes me wonder if I am misunderstanding Cittaslow, as the Italians call it. Slow life is nice but does it mean stagnant? It is something I need to consider a lot more closely now that I realize the mess of here and start to unravel all these tightly wound emotions and situational awarenesses. Above all else, I know that tomorrow is the end of this brief journey and I’ll be back in the desert grind (that isn’t a grind) and I’ll have to figure out how to navigate all of that nonsense again.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: ” Americans’ sympathies in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict have shifted dramatically, new poll shows” Spoiler Alert: We started to realize Genocide is at play… and it ain’t the Israelis going extinct.
2. Just bought that happy Harry Potter backpack. And a British long ton of butter beer. yee!