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I did not make it through a chapter today. This one, as you may remember, was a mess. I had to really sit and talk it out with the Lady Talis to unwind some of the nonsense I’d built up. It is a dark ending. It is darker than I expected, but feels a bit rushed as well. The characters are authentically themselves by the end with all that comes with that. You see both sides of a few characters. It is going to fold neatly into the Coda… when it is done.

I expect that to be tomorrow. I expect I’ll be back at the beach and away from distractions. I had to leave today because the bees were after me. They wouldn’t let up and that made it impossible to focus. I finally gave up and walked home. That presented its own challenges. The internet is here. The kids reaching out and asking for things. Wanting to help the lady do things and solve problems. All of those are distractions to the work. It is why I ran out of time and concentration to get the work done.

Hours later, I am here blogging it out. I am excited to get back to it tomorrow and strip away the slew of distractions. I need it. There are two chapters left in this book. I can knock this out before the first. I expect to do so. I want to try and finish both chapters tomorrow and then spend some time editing spots to get the flow right. What I’ve learned about myself as a writer is that how it sounds matters as much as the story being told. The flow is important. I need to strive for more balance between flow and story (plot and plot structure). This novel is a stepping stone to better ones in the future.

I have this creeping fear that I’ve written myself into a corner and by doing so will need to rewrite a fair portion of this novel… again. I am hoping it isn’t true. I am going to let my hindbrain work on the problem overnight, so that I can manufacture a solution that gets me out of this thing. It doesn’t make a lot of sense the way things are wrapping up right now. The end is a bit of an escape room, with the timer not being as fully present or as critical as I want. It all feels forced and feels like it is going to end abruptly. This all turned sour on the twist, which I wanted to slip in there but hadn’t fully digested the consequences of.

That twist leads to a compromise that introduces a squad of new characters at the very end of the novel. This is a writing faux pas. Not a good look in any way. So, I need to figure out how to minimize the arrival of these new entities without distracting from the main thrust of the plot and the ticking clock rushing the story towards its conclusion. I have to figure all of this out tomorrow in this last chapter before the Coda.

I have no idea how to make that happen. The reality is I’ve dug myself a hole that is quite deep, and I need to figure out where the edges are so that I may attempt to patch it. Sometimes it takes ten minutes just to sort out the problem in your head so that you have a chance to fix it.

I am loosing track of time. I had to rewrite the heading of the blog yesterday to reflect the actual number and day. It wasn’t Thursday yesterday at all. That means it is Friday today. I’m blogging from this beautiful backyard after a failed beach session. I put together roughly 1200 usable words but I did not finish a chapter. It was far too crazy and hectic on the beach to really settle in and focus. Normally that sort of background chaos is okay for me, but it was also hotter than I’m used to as it was much later in the day. As the hour closed on 4:30 I started to think I was screwing up and not doing what the Lady Talis needed–which led me to up and quit.

I developed a routine and then I broke away from it for very good and productive reasons. However, trying to slide into a new time slot was a rough start. I believe I ought to go back to the basics tomorrow and try to get this chapter done. There is one more following it before the Coda. That pushes a finished draft back another day to, possibly, the 1st of the month. That is the deadline at any rate. From then forward it is all about the wedding and settling into the rest of this honeymoon we are on.

Some Thoughts:

1. Continue to be blessed in this wonderful place. A local artist is allowing the Lady Talis to wear one of her fabulous custom pieces to the wedding–NO CHARGE! Just take pictures, she says. Heck yes we will.
2. The initial photos from the engagement shoot dropped. Sick pics. Really really nice stuff.

Stories rarely turn on the axis provided. Often they go awry, chasing the thread of whatever found the most meaning to the characters through your word and attentions. My story has done this, swelling from the original 80K to 100K with three chapters firmly remaining. It has been three for two days now. I’ve completed a chapter each of those days and found need to add another to follow it. These things are signs that the tale is telling itself. It is right, it is spiraling, and it may not survive the final edit.

I hope that it does. This last section feels like Shadowrun. It feels like what they wanted me to write in the first place. It is winding down properly and will end on the note it is supposed to. This is the way of writing–of writers. I am pleased and blessed to have that be a major part of my existence. It could have gone another way, y’ know. I could have succeeded in football, or more likely, failed in a much slower and grander fashion. That would have given my kids a greater advantage and understanding of the sport than they do now, but likely less hunger. It is better the way it is now. They have or will surpass me and then have an entire life to figure out what they want to become.

I, on the other hand, am what I mean to become. I saw an omen of that today. As I wrote on the beach, a bald eagle set down on the beach not twenty feet from me. It stood there for well over a minute watching me watch it. Crows screeched and whirled all around it, trying to force it to move on. It never flinched. It surveyed me, surveyed the beach, and eventually moved on

Siting an Eagle, especially at that distance, is a powerful omen. I don’t want to take it for granted. I seek to understand it and to use the good mana to propel me forward. I was writing without the distraction of the internet, which leads me to believe that is the right thing to do. I will find a way to keep that ritual as part of my life and to keep writing in focus for longer and longer. This is the way. This is my way.

However, the omen comes only weeks away from my wedding, so I cannot say it is about writing alone. That connection–that bond I have with the Lady Talis is so important, and I must do what I must in order to ensure she is happy and safe. I will work harder at that and I will keep her in focus. This too is my way.

It is the only way.

there are days when the blog strays very far from original intent. These are the days when I fight to write and often lose the battle. The blog is meant to make me write daily—ten minutes that belongs solely to the craft.

I can write anything I want so long as it is all that I do for that stretch of time and so long as it is exactly ten miutes. Therein lies the problem. Often I type so slowly that I spend more time trying to think up what to say than I do of the actual saying. These blogs are slower, iloften lacking real substance or a central theme.

it is Th en like writing itself. The good stuff doesn’t always come but every day you try to find it. I keep trying. I keep putting out these blogs ten minutes at a time.

I continue to produce, though the product isn’t exactly what I want. I have what generally resembles a plan to get me through the rest of the story. It went in an odd direction, and I don’t exactly know how to get out of this mess I’ve made, but I am certainly enjoying the mess itself. Violent and dangerous this ending is becoming, but that makes a lot of sense. It is also kind of fun. I just need for it to make sense in story terms. The part I am at pushes them further away from success but gives them a plan to get there. I think it is a workable plan, so I’ll spend my beach writing time getting them to a point where they can execute that plan. Hopefully it falls into place.

Some Thoughts:

1. We did the wedding photo shoot today I am wiped completely out. It took hours, which was great, but now I am at the drain mode. I need sleep. I need to reset. I’ll do that after this blog.
2. Both my kid’s football teams are predicted to lose a lot of games. Time to prove the haters wrong?
3. The UNC team my boy is with has only one 1 of its last 23 games. That is a sick L streak. However, players from the squad and coaches and staff keep getting swiped by bigger, often FBS schools. So there is talent there…
4. People are really acting like Iphones appear in pictures before phones were a thing.That is what viral marketing looks like.

I am tired. It may be wine tired or mind tired, perhaps both. Today was a long one. We spent quite a lot of time on the road and made minor progress in the things that mattered. We are making progress and that is the thing that matters the most. My fatigue doesn’t carry a physical vector, because the movement was a low for my time here. I needed that low–that lull in heavy steps. It gives my leg time to heal, if only partially. I don’t know what is wrong there, but after a 10 mile day the pain is enough to keep me awake through the night. It is a problem that needs to be fixed, but until I know what it is or where, specifically, I cannot learn if it even can be fixed. It may be a swelling issue tied to a tear, or rupture, or some such malady that is unfixable. In the meantime. I still walk.

And write.

Another chapter toppled. 5 remaining. I think I have a very good handle on the flow of the thing along with the perfect beach workspace far removed from all things internet. I live there now. Every morning belongs to this work and I am doing a bang on job of getting it out Five more days, if I can keep the pace. Five more days and then a day of editing or perhaps two and the book goes back off to the editor. We will see what happens next.

What I fear most is that a recently released book may be mirroring the ending I wrote. If that is the case, it is going to be another long rewrite… perhaps the book dies right there. No use worrying over what-ifs. Write, love, move the heck on.

This is the way.

Life is wonderful. Life is tough. Life is stress.

I feel it in moments throughout the day. We are having the big wedding in a few weeks, and that hangs over our head like this cloud of things that need to be planned and handled. Add that to the impending novel deadline and my stress levels are skyrocketing. I intended this to be a fun and relaxed trip, but there is too much to plan and think about for it to ever really be that for longer than a few hours at a time.

But those hours are exquisite.

I live for those hours. I breathe them in like it is the only air that I get. I love when those are the things on my mind and not the drama of trying to make sure we have everything handled for everyone in our lives as though we continue to be their cruise directors. It isn’t even the wedding. That part I’m excited about. It is planning and navigating every detail of when the family arrives to ensure that they have a great experience. Isn’t it our experience that is supposed to be the one that is featured?

I’m just venting because I need it. I’ll go back to planning and cruise directing and all the things needed so these kids can say, “Yeah, it was pretty cool.” and I can be happy that such a small nod of satisfaction escaped the prison of indifference that is this generation. I’ll do it and I’ll love it, not because I want that acknowledgement from them, but because it makes my wife happy. That, after all, is what it is all about.

It is hard to think that we’ve only been in Canada for four days. In those days I feel like I’ve done so much more in life than I did in the weeks prior. Today marked another chapter done. That puts me down to seven left. There is a chance I score one more tomorrow. My secret: The beach. The internet free beach. I go down to the water each morning and write my butt off for as long as I can. I do it while listening to the waves and not checking my phone or some random web rabbit hole or any of the things that can distract me. This feels impossible at home. All there is at home is the constant noise. I can count on one hand how many times I experience silence over the course of a week there.

Here is better.

Here has always been better, but this is the best iteration so far. We are right on the beach so I can take my chair down there and work and enjoy the space. The other day I even saw a dog chasing a deer across the sand. Weird lives at this beach, Today I witnessed a silent rave further down the shore. It was… a lot. Yet it was not a total distraction. I continued to work and enjoy and create. I was in the zone and in the end I was able to push through another chapter.

I hope to do the same tomorrow and the day after. I want this to be my every day, all the way until the book is done and I am on to the next one. I love this mode I am in. Lets keep it going till the wheels fall off.

Two chapters!

I know these last few (9) are going to be 1500 word range chapters, but to lock in two in one day is quite nice. I’m feeling really good about the speed of the writing and the tempo of the storytelling at the end. It is all about tying up arcs and having some fun on the run itself. The buildup has been HUGE. Again, this ain’t you’re daddy’s SR Novel. Well, maybe it’s your grandaddy’s. This is about emotions and depth, and I’ve had a ton of fun doing the rewrite. It was a struggle at times but now those good times they be rolling. Aiming for one chapter tomorrow, as it is a busy day overall. We will see if I can pull it off.

Some Thoughts:

1. Canada is simply chiller.
2. Headline of the Day: Man Dies After Heavy Weight Training Chain Pulls Him into MRI Machine.
3. Yes, of course that happened in Long Island.
4. Runner up: Japan’s PM to use slightly radioactive Fukushima soil to prove its safety.
5. If I made this stuff up, nobody would believe me.