813. Rising Action

I don’t think people live at a set level of mental and physical exertion. As with a wave there is a rising and falling action. However, I believe we have the ability to control our rising and falling actions through the incredible power of will.

Will is an interesting force of nature. When I think about the really really big picture, about how the universe came to be, I think about will. If you are a bible follower, will played a key role in God’s creation of the world and the actions of its first citizens. Now, even before that there had to be a reason for God to come into being and that there is will.
Fast forward to humanity and will kept us going through the darkest of times. We fought through hunger, famine, war, physical atrocity, all on the back of will. So, why is it so freaking hard to will yourself out of bed to do a push up. Why is it near impossible to will ourselves to be more proactive? more successful?
My struggle has been to exercise and to organize. These are nearly universal among the people I teach and interact with. We never ‘have enough time’ to do everything required. We rarely do enough with our bodies to remain in the type of physical condition that we should throughout our lives.
So, what happened to will? I think the TV ate it.

812. Waiver Wednesday

I haven’t heard from my fantasy football league yet, but I gotta admit I’m getting psyched about the challenge. Our league is a pay league; a group of football watchers who plunk down a fee to see which of us can collect the best ‘point scorers’ in the NFL. I know many NFL players, beat writers, and even fans consider Fantasy Football to be a powerfully stupid activity. It is literally football out of context. We’re betting on the skills of individuals (and occasionally defenses) in a team sport. So, this post challenges the myths and stereotypes of Fantasy Football. I seek to validate what I’ve come to enjoy as my ‘paper sport’. Fantasy Football is a colorful extraction of an intrinsic part of professional football.

What is fantasy football? It is a bet. You bet on how well players will perform against a given team under a very specific set of variables in a given week. In essence, fantasy football team owners are laymen NFL scouts. We determine mismatches and orchestrate lineups in order to take advantage of those mismatches. This little step made the Patriots great. Now I’m not saying I’m like the Patriot coaching staff, but I am trying to be a student of the game in that same fashion in order to play a game that is both fun and earns me a little bit of coin just in time for the Super Bowl party.

I know this post tries to make fantasy football team owners seem more than we are, but I enjoy playing and I do learn more about the game from it. Fantasy football makes me a better football coach to all of the kids I lead unto the field on saturdays. That has to be worth something.

811. Inattention Blindness

(transcribed from shoddily handwritten text)

Yesterday was tough for me. The Big Evil Wave ™ is still cascading over my life, lately resulting in massive knee pain made worse by slamming into a coffee table knee first. A younger man would shrug it off. I am no longer a younger man. As a result I was in no mood to deal with my kids (which is becoming a more and more constant state of being), they learned to keep their distance and entertain themselves for large stretches of time. This shows that I am developing a really negative attitude towards childcare and have skewed priorities.

 

The Big Evil Wave ™ is always self-inflicted. It is, after a fashion, me telling the universe that I need to be checked. Check me it does; always hard enough to make the point impossible to miss. This year’s points are crystal:

1. My priorities are out of whack.
2. I am too careless with my money.

The first point is a painful one to admit, because it shows me that I am trying to hard to escape fro my daily routine, which means I am unhappy with the home life. This past year taught me that I think about anything else while spending time with the kids, they’ll know and they will try to destroy whatever else I am thinking about. If I try to work on that other thing, it’ll be ruined, as will my time with the kids. Part of that is inattention blindness, but it is mostly the willful way these kids refuse to be ignored–as they should.

They deserve my full attention. I need to become more proactive about organizing and grading priorities. I need to shape my time in a way that allows me those moments to do nothing but hang out with the family as well as those moments to work and to write. Most of all, I need to be clear about what is most important.

The money issue is equally rough Isn’t it always?

Some Thoughts:

1. My job used to be my vacation. That is hardly the case these days, because I haven’t found balance yet. I need to figure out a way to do that.

2. Wearing your shades on the back of your shirt is stupid. There, I said it. Someone had to. In a world where 50 Shades of poo is a NYT best seller, we need to start calling bullshit when we see it.

810. Where the Rule Went

No, I didn’t give up on the rule. In the financial poostorm that is daily life my account lapsed–triggered by a change in banks (We no longer endorse BOA here). When switching banks and bill pay accounts there is certain to be some lag and resulting drama. The last few weeks have been all of that and worse. Hopefully the financial madness will stop trending and I can exchange that level of drama for a few weeks of focus on rebuilding myself.

I think the 30’s are about letting go and settling in. The 30’s are when athletes start heading down hill. How you respond to that sudden physical deterioration has a direct impact on the rest of your life. I believe that is why so many athletes dies young. The break from the healthy regimen that kept them going, and when the injuries catch up with them, it hits a lot harder than it ought to.
I can talk about this stuff from experience. Not the pro part (I was a walk on who didn’t make it to the travel squad–thanks to injuries), but the letting go at 30 and watching the body nosedive into oblivion. Now at 37 I’m left with the challenge of restoring my body to a healthy weight and activity level.
It is true that people who are out of shape are emotionally different from when they are in shape. This means I should be a lot happier in 20 lbs.
The trouble is getting there.

809. Death at the Dark Knight

“Some people just want to see the world burn.” -Alfred

Last night’s premiere of Nolan’s final Batman film was marred by the type of violence theater patrons expected to see on the screen as opposed to being victimized by it. A shooter stormed into a Batman premiere in Aurora, Colorado and opened fire. At least 12 died and 58 more were injured according to CNN. People are looking for answers. They want to know how and why and what we would do next. Sadly, there are no answers and I believe that a month or three from now we will crawl back into our shells and allow ourselves to forget. We will do this, because it is the only way we can maintain the illusion of safety.

I have already heard, “he didn’t look like the type to do that.” Well, what does that type of person look like? I believe that, to allow ourselves to feel safe, we ascribe physical qualities to the behaviors we seek to avoid. So when someone says, “he doesn’t look like…” they are trying to rationalize their world view with the reality of the actions that occurred. It is a useful and foolish exercise, because what you are doing is slipping back into that illusion of safety where none actually exists.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims. This crime did not need to happen, and I suspect it happened because the person wanted to, as the quote suggests, see the world burn. This was not an assault on Batman. It may have been the venue because the nature of the film would maximize the number of victims and help to reveal the deeper motive. In fact, some reports suggest the guy died his hair red and claimed to be the joker (who actually has green hair). This event should serve as a reminder of the fragility and illusory nature of a safe society. No, this is not Kandahar. More of us Americans believe in shared civility than not, but in this age of advanced weaponry and accessibility it does not take very much to hide who you truly are and create a situation where you can cause a great deal of damage.

I doubt the shooter is the only person in our society who wants to see the world burn, and I know he won’t be the last to make it happen.

808. Considering Linsanity

By now Jeremy Lin is a household name. In a sport where Asian Americans terrorize high school courts up and down the seaboards, college athletics has not found much use for Asians in the NBA. There was Yao, and a handful of other VLA’s (Very Large Asians) who broke through the stereotype barrier and became NBA ballers, but for the most part Asians have been shut out.

Then Linsanity happened.

Even his own teammates aren’t sure how or why it happened, but for a 25+ span of basketball games, Jeremy Lin was a beast. The fact he is Asian-American is extremely relevant to this for one simple reason: Lin is a crowd player. He is the type of athlete that steps up in front of a big crowd of cheering fans. He feeds off it the way a baby suckles at his mother’s breast. It nourishes him and makes him a better player. This, and the fact that his offense scheme at the time gave him an opportunity to make plays, created that incredible stretch of games where everyone wanted to tune in and see this kid break some ankles.

The other day the NY Knicks said goodbye to Lin. They refused to match the very silly offer sheet put forward by Lin’s former franchise, the Houston Rockets. Lin did not want to go. He knows what the NY crowd is and loves it. However, it is very difficult to turn down a deal that offers you nearly 15 million dollars in the third year. That third year is what made NYC say goodbye. Based on the state of the Luxury tax, The Knicks would have been paying nearly 30 million dollars that year for Lin alone. I am sorry but as exciting as a player Lin was to enjoy, 30 million is too steep a price to pay.

In shedding themselves of Lin the Knicks have submitted to another truth, which is that the team really does belong to Carmelo “Black Hole” Anthony. To paraphrase what I heard one reporter say, what good is Lin if he gets to half court and Anthony sticks out his left hand and demands the ball. Everybody knows once Anthony gets the ball he isn’t giving it back. I believe (and Anthony’s benching tonight at the Olympic games further proves) that Carmelo Anthony is a gifted, perhaps even unstoppable, scorer who is completely incapable of finding any rhythm without the ball in his hands. Having him and Lin on the court at the same time is a joke; a 30 million dollar joke at that, and the Knicks saved themselves a ton of drama by letting that one go.

Lin may find success in Houston. Based on what I’ve seen, he is a flash in the pan player who can be extremely good in the right offense. I don’t know if Houston will build around what he can offer, but looking at the pieces that are in place, I suspect he will do just fine. This would not have been the case in NYC where he would have been a PG without the B-A-L-L. It is a sad result of trying to successfully exist in the wake of a black hole.

807. On the Perspective Nature of Reality

“The world, as I see it, is a remarkable place.” — Jason Mraz

A year or so ago I found myself invested in a series of movies that tackled reality; specifically how we all perceive reality in different ways. Shutter Island, Inception, and Suckerpunch all dealt with the different shapes reality takes, all admitting that reality is subjective. It is not difficult to agree with that point of view, especially when one considers that the very idea of ‘point of view’ exists. Here is a simple POV trick I learned from my dean: Take your hand, extend the index finger and point that hand straight into the sky. You should be looking up at your hand. Slowly roll your wrist in a clockwise fashion. Now as you continue moving that hand clockwise, lower your arm so that you are eye level to your hand. Now lower that arm so it is waist level. You should be looking down at your hand. What happens to your perception of the direction your hand is moving?

That simple trick indicates how perspective shapes perception. Merely shifting the angle at which we see something may change how we see that thing. Consider then how emotion can shape reality. I am writing this while watching DMV workers, merely an hour into their shift, approach critical mass. From my perspective their anger and apparent disgust towards customers feels like an overreaction. However, when I consider their perspective from behind the desk, I suspect there may be some legitimacy to that rage. See, I am seeing customer confusion and slow moving tendencies for the first time. They see it 4-5 days a week.

Right here a physicist would stop me and say, quite rightly, that these people are experiencing an identical reality. Perhaps, but being a social scientist, I also recognize that their histories, attitudes, and current physical state affect how they perceive that reality, and furthermore, their perspective is key in determining that perspective.

A cop and a crook walk into a bank and see a robbery in progress. What do they look for? This comes down to role, an aspect of perspective. So, to cut it short, the main lesson from this is to be aware of your own perspective and those of others perceiving the same situation. Use that knowledge, as opposed to just your own point of view, in order to shape a 360 view of the situation.

Some thoughts:
1. I’ve been thinking a lot about grading and the role it plays in teaching. My students, for the most part, are in the class to receive a grade. It is the carrot that compels them to study and retain information for long enough to complete whatever assessment I can create in order to determine if they have retained information for said limited timeframe. This is not learning. So, I am considering moving to a more comprehensive mastery model. In this model students are required to complete an online remediation program that is designed to continue testing them until they reach a mastery level (80 or perhaps 90%). If I can tie this into their grade in a significant way (make it worth half the grade?) then their ability to pass is intrinsically tied to their ability to master the content. Given my proclivity to games, I can also tie higher levels of mastery (100%?) to additional class bonuses like the removal of an assignment or overall grade points or some way to do both. Now I need to. Create the same sort of mastery system for essays–maybe using the existing rubric as a guideline. You write 3 essays and cannot get a grade below a B. I keep sending it back until you hit that 80% threshold. Those who don’t make it by the time class ends (or by a drop dead due date) don’t get credit. In other words, they become the C students.

2. This brings up the argument of what does a C grade mean? C reflects average, right? Perhaps that is a longer discussion for another day.

806. Thoughts on Monetization while watching a cow sell chicken.

Today’s post comes from a Chick-fil-A where I just spent $19 on what amounts to three kids meals and a chicken sandwich. This is not a complaint but a fact of reality. Nowadays a cup of coffee is upwards of $3.00 and date night costs as much as a yearly membership to most kids’ or a month at a really nice Gym. Such is the price of life in America, and we pay it, because we feel these prices are a bargain compared to what we could be paying in other places. Last night my wife got a bit upset with Walmart. There are many reasons she could and should be pissed at the ‘mart, but this fresh anger was brought on by their online store. She saw some outdoor furniture priced in the $3000 range. She felt it was ludicrous and it is, but I am also sure it exists because people will buy it at that price, which brings me to my point of the day.

The worlds financial engine is predicated largely on the principles of supply and demand. Where there is significant supply and little demand, prices are low. Where there is the reverse the reverse will likely be true. A wise businessman can manipulate these factors, artificially raising or lowering one or the other in order to create value. Meanwhile, the value of fixed and plentiful items remains the value that is most often manipulated, like water. That was monetized in a major way in our lifetimes.

I am no economist, but I am curious to know what will be the next big monetization. We monetized failure with the creation of derivatives, so anything is possible. Maybe we can monetize birth rates.

Some Thoughts:
1. I was thinking about souls and what happens when the well of souls is full. Will, at some point in creation, all the lives ever lived need to be recycled because we have reached the limit of all imprinted souls in creation? What would it be like to wake up 876 trillion years into the future. What would reality look like?

805. Reflections on a Monday Night

I need p90x.

Perhaps not the actual product, but the hard-hitting muscle confusion routines built into the program. Two years back (or so) I stumbled on to a site called bodyrock.tv. For a handful of weeks earlier in the year I dabbled in the routines, finding that I felt much better on the days I worked out. Now I know that exercise makes me healthier and more energetic, but I can see how so many people feel like that isn’t enough to want to do it.
My Mother-in-law was just in town, and she is endemic of the problems I am talking about. Of course it all swirls back towards motivation–the difference between thinking about doing it and doing it. Something holds her back from taking care of herself. IMHO, it is a high level of untreated depression, but I am no doctor, just a son-in-law who sees things. Of course, I am also the guy munching on a brownie while I write this and expecting to have a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie a la mode after a burger and fry dinner. Will I work out tonight? Unlikely. I know I need to do it, but I simply do not do it. That change of behavior has not come.
Some Thoughts:
1. I mentioned the mom-in-law thing earlier. I didn’t mention that she will no longer be moving out to AZ to join us. The kids are too much for her. She prefers their quiet and civilized cousin, but for whatever reason refuses to live with that bunch either. I think it is a good thing that we know she is never going to move in. She’s talked about doing it for the last five years, and her waffling really shaped our home buying options. We bought in order to accommodate her and her husband, but now we don’t have to do that. On the other hand, now we have bedrooms for each of the boys should they choose to split up. The waffling annoyed me more than the choice itself. I want her to be happy and she is clearly not happy with, nor does she actually even enjoy, her oldest two grandchildren. I respect that she feels (and others do as well) that they are too boisterous, but I don’t think that is a terrible quality in 5 and 7 year olds. The 3 year old is swiftly marching down that same path. The other path they are all marching down is one of fierce determination and strong will. This is what I want from them, and their behaviors are certainly a healthy side effect of that.
2. Being in a place after writing about that place for years can be a humbling experience. Seattle is such a different city from the one I built up on paper that I feel guilty for not going sooner. Again, the one thing that I can take from this moving forward is the idea of hills. The one thing I can take from the experience is that as a writer you need to see where you write about in order to be authentic. The best place to learn about any city is in its many bars. I didn’t get a chance to explore the watering holes to my satisfaction, so next summer I’m rocking a timeshare.
3. Working out of the Basha’s Starbucks in Maricopa. They left the TV on the weight loss channel, so I am bombarded with attacks from p90x and Sensa. I suppose the universe is sending me a message.

804. Finding comfort in not knowing

Well, they did it again.
This post was a digression into the importance of being able to say “I don’t know.” because there is this strange expectation for you to know everything, especially as a professor. What I learned in college was that professors tend to focus their instruction very narrowly so it reflects their precise and limited field of knowledge. The effect is the appearance of being all-knowing. Let me be clear: nobody can know everything about anything. Information will always be waiting to be discovered.

This truth stuck me dumb many years ago when I was a drug rehab counselor. I became familiar with the AA mantra, “grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can.” i am likely misquoting here, so we will call it paraphrasing. The message is clear. You must be willing to embrace the truths in order to move forward and change what you can. In terms of this argument, you must be able to accept that you do not have all the answers in order to move into learning mode and try to gain more knowledge about a subject you once presumed you knew everything about.

I learn more about teaching every day. I study film, writing, science, anything I can wrap my mind around in order to become more knowledgeable about the world we live in. I recognize that I know very little, and this makes me happy, because it means I have more to learn and more to do in life. Learning is like a fuel that fills the engine of desire.