937. Waiver (Thursday?)

So I had some things to get off my chest yesterday. That is all said and done, so back to football. 10 – 5 leaves me at 112 – 63. Not top spot and slipping slowly. I hope to make a push of it over the next few weeks.

Here come the picks:

NO over ATL
Yeah, they might be down by 7 now, but THIS IS SPARTA!!! or just Brees. This is just Drew Brees.

JAC over BUF
I think we are reaching a level of parity in the lower ranks of the NFL. These teams are even in some ways, but BUF is vulnerable to the passing attack and Henne is trying to earn a job.

CHI over  SEA
This is NOT a Seattle home game. Therefore they will not win.

IND over DET
That parity thing applies to the midlevel teams as well. These two mids are on par with each other, but IND is hot right now and I am willing to trust in that.

GB over MIN
That beating they took from the G-men must be avenged if the Pack are to make the playoffs. I think they will make the playoffs, but that really needs to start with a win against the Vikes.

HOU over TEN
Unless JJ Watt lives on the bench, this game is a lock. HOU is a top tier ball club and playing against a bottom feeder who is struggling for relevance. They won’t find it here.

CAR over KC

SF over STL

NE over MIA

NYJ over AZ
This is a defensive game in the making. I think the Jets win, but I think they do it in spite of Sanchize and a fractured running game. Maybe Powell emerges this week, but I doubt it. Just no more butt fumbles, please?

DEN over TB

CLE over OAK

CIN over SD

BAL over PIT

PHI over DAL

Giants over WSH

936. Some Thoughts

I am postponing the waiver wire till thursday this week, because my head is swirling with all sorts of stuff. See, the moment you start to understand human behaviors you have to accept that you are going to see things that are not necessarily positive for you. Over the last two years I have notice a gradual easing of my responsibilities and importance in my job role. I am in no way being pushed out, but I am being minimized.

It is my fault, of course. In the first two years I worked at the job I served in a role that I did not do very well in. I underperformed, partly because of an inability due to newness and partly because I didn’t and perhaps don’t have the skills to do the task.

I like to blame these things on getting older. 10 years ago I thought I could walk into a calc 2 class and teach it better than anyone who’d ever tried. This despite not having taken or practiced math since the early 90’s. I believed in my own superhero status and approached the work that way. Today I feel like a dying old guppy in an aquarium with slick new fish and old frogs thundering past me, leaving me in their wake. I don’t know where this feeling came from or why I feel so powerless to change the game. Some of it is social. I know I’m sensitive to the feelings of others and I do not feel like I am looked at with the same sense of welcoming that was there when I arrived. Again, I probably made that happen with the initial epic fail.

The real question is can you roll back a first impression? When I think about how I feel about others, I know that it is hard to break from what you feel about someone. It takes a lot of work on their part and a lot of forgiveness on yours. Even then, the person who made the bad impression needs to know what that other person needs them to do in order to fix it.

 

 

935. The Overnight

My three year old son is sitting in the darkness of our stairwell, his near black eyes peaking out at me with a look of expectation. He has been there for some time. I’ve shooed him more than once, the way a home owner shoos a lonely pet that keeps coming up to their door. I’ve tried other solutions: hugs, kisses, reassurances. Still, he won’t go back to his bed or any other. He just sits there in the darkness waiting for a mother that isn’t coming home.

Call me morbid, but I sometimes wonder what life would become if my wife died Not for me, mind you, but for the youngest of the flock. See, she puts him to bed every night and stays by his side until he is well asleep, often falling asleep herself in the process. Now she is doing a week of night shifts at the hospital trying to finish up her capstone and maybe build up enough street cred for a real job. I’m all for the extra income, but the extra headache is a 3 yr old who doesn’t know what to do with himself after 7:30 and doesn’t even approach understanding how to fall asleep.

Maybe I should drug him. There are natural formulas we’ve seen and occasionally used when he was sick. A few well received drops of the midnight sleep and perhaps my stalker will be less inclined to stalk. Again, I cannot blame the boy. He is a creature of habit and his 3 yr habit has bee upended. Imagine what the world would be like for him if she were gone forever. I bet it must feel like that right now anyway.

Some Thoughts:

  1. A reporter uncovered a porn ring in Paradise Valley. The best part of the story was all the moms who shrugged and acted like they assumed it was there all along, and the one mom who immediately grabbed her kid and held her close, like Wicked is in the market for 2 year olds. Get a grip, folks.
  2. Love vs. Lust. who wins?

934. Reflections on a Monday Night

Watching my last place fantasy football team cruise towards win #2 on the season. It is a Pyrrhic victory, because I lost my starting running back to the Injured Reserve. It has been that kind of season–that kind of year really. I’ve reached some conclusions about who I am and what I want. Some surprised me while others just were a long time in their arrival. I know that I want to work at being a better teacher and a better writer, the second point being what I spoke to last night. Tonight I am more interested in the idea of looking inward to breakdown the outward problems.

It is obvious that people blame each other for the problems in their own lives. I am no exception. I used to be the guy who preached, “everything wrong in your world begins with  you.” Somewhere along the way to 40 I forgot to practice what I preach and decided that most of the things screwed up in talisland were 100% not my fault and out of my control. None of that is true of course. We are each responsible for our own happiness and, to a lesser extent, responsible for the situations we are in. The way to work through any residual unhappiness is to think about what in life makes you the most happy and what in life is causing your unhappiness and try to change your situation–no matter what it takes or how hard it is.

The same friend that started me on this 10 minute rule once said to me, the one thing you need to do for your kids is to be a happy person. I think that rule is more universal. The one thing you need to do for yourself in your life is to be as happy as you possibly can. We don’t get another chance at living, so what we have now is all there will be. I for one intend for that time to be special.

933. On Getting Older and Getting Patience

I have a lot of writing and reading to do. This weekend I managed to do a horde’s worth of grading as I recovered (mentally) from the effects of nearly a week in Vegas. I think it is important now to intensify the amount of writing I do, especially now that it is hard for me to do it. The point is to stretch the limits of what you can do, so that you are constantly getting better and stronger and more a part of your craft. That is the part about being around writers that is so important.

When you are around students and practitioners of the craft, you are forced to recognize and analyze what you bring to the craft and why you continue to be a part of it. Writing is work, but it is also love.

I’ve been giving though to slowly upgrading and readying my home. I think the 1st thing I want to address is the office. I have always felt the need for a space that is reflective of my creative state and enhances it to the point where I cannot wait to work. I have never been able to create such a space, but I want to give myself one story check to do the job.

Maybe I’ll chart that journey here.

932. On Friends

I have a family, on my mothers side, that consists of two people. There were more in the past, but the Scotts have all but died off. See, we never had many to begin with and most of them were old or affected by the many wars this country fights domestically and abroad.  From this tired mass of people I sprung whole. Now they are all but gone and I am nearly alone.

I have another family, the one I became a part of when I married my beautiful wife. They are thriving and young and energetic and welcoming and something I am proud to be a part of. Yet in me the two sides war. There is what I and and what I have and somewhere inbetween lives a 3rd family.

The third family is composed entirely of friends. I have a number of friends, but a few ring like family. They have been there for me forever in the hardest times and in turn I would gladly step in front of a bullet to make sure they had one more good day on this Earth. This is how you are supposed to feel about family, which is how I know they are family as well.

There isn’t much of a point to this other than to recognize that we all construct family based on perceptions and need. I glommed on to my wife’s family because there was nothing left of mine, which in turn made me less committed to the remnants of the Scott clan. Before that there were friends, and even now I continue to add friends to the family as though they are the ever-growing base from which my emotional support stems. Friends can be family, just as easily as those with whom you share the same blood. Sometimes friends are better than that, because at some point you chose to bring them in. It was never forced upon you.

931. Why Johnny Can’t Write

Fact: The average student cannot write an essay and doesn’t really want to. On the other hand, that same student will write more words in a day than the average length of a college essay.

I know I am not citing my sources here, because they are largely anecdotal. I ran several informal polls in my classes in order to figure out how much writing was going on in the span of a day. When I told students to include their 140 character texts, the number of words skyrocketed. The fact is they didn’t see texts as writing, and neither do most professors I talk to. This is where reality and academia generally part ways. See, texting is a form of writing and argumentation. While not accepted by the academic mainstream, it is quickly becoming the primary form of communication among students 18-25. We, as educators, are not doing our part to link the new world to the old thinking of what is an acceptable form of communication. Instead we are desperately swimming against the tide by teaching them that what they spend their hours doing is not the ‘right way’ to communicate. No, it wasn’t the right way to communicate, but in a world that is being broken up into digestible sound bytes, it is likely the new way to communicate. This and other similar revelations have led me to a certain understanding of the world. I am quickly learning that the way I taught can no longer be the way I teach.

Johnny can’t write because of me and the multitude of English professors that came before me. We bored him to death by repeatedly demanding that he complete the same tired tasks over and over again. We tried to jazz it up or even break it down into components/levels, but we taught writing all the same. Take for example the developmental college sequence. 071, 081, 091, 101, 102. Five classes linked by so-called ‘graduated language’ that ensures that students enjoy a deeper understanding of the rhetoric at each level. But what do they do at each level? They write essays. They write college essays and are held to ever narrowing standards for those essays. For a while I broke away from that trend. I taught 071-081 as paragraph writing classes and 091 and 101 as college essay classes with the 102 capstone being a self-directed research seminar.

Crap.

See, I was still doing essays and I was creating artificial constructs to support my desires to  have things be different at each level. People don’t write paragraphs. They write essays. Or they tweet. Or they write to a purpose. These are the things that were being ignored, which led to a student, who went through 081 and 091, becoming bored by the time they hit 101. What if each level offered a truly different style and meaning of writing, one that if stacked atop each other presented a body of evidence of how to write and were threaded together by the spine of the writing process?

If I could teach our tweeters one thing it would be economy of words. Think about what you want to say and find the way to say it in the clearest and most direct language. This is, of course, antithetical to the idea of writing an extended research essay. Students hear 20 pages and actually wet themselves, or they simply surrender. My school found hard evidence that a large percentage of 101 completers were not prepared for and often failed 102. Why? Because 101 was never that transition course that taught them how to expand their reasoning; it didn’t offer them an avenue to take a simplified thought and blow it up into a chain of reasoning that is undeniable by anyone seeking to challenge the argument. That is my new 101.

My new 091 focuses on reflective writing. In order to be successful learners, students need to be able to reflect on what they are learning and the process of learning itself. So in the context of making them aware of grammar and rhetorical strategies, I need to help them to reflect on how they learn and how writing is used. I need to make them more aware of the fact that they are writers and then I need to make them better.

930. So long, and thanks for all the turkey

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
–Jon Stewart

Meanings change over the years. What was once a recipe for small pox and genetic annihilation is now a moment of thanks for the people who won that particular conflict, and even the ones who lost. We give thanks–the masses for what we have and the Natives for the Casinos that prod us to relinquish what we have to a triad of spinning cherries. Still, Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that I deeply enjoy and will soon regret not being a larger part of. The last vestiges of my extended family is moving on, leaving me alone with a wife who often wants to kill me (seems I am a bad husband–who knew?), and three little boys who have never learned the meaning of the turkey day.

Modern Thanksgiving is about family. The larger a family you have, the more exciting and compelling the holiday appears to be. My sister-in-law is fleeing the desert in order to be closer to her very large family where these holidays are joyful and honored. Here we merely have a few bites and fall asleep. I would love to do more, but my home and network of contacts is only so big. Admittedly I have been having a bout of home envy as of late. A friend whom I adore has the perfect entertaining house. It has always been a goal of mine to have such a house. On the other hand, it is also a goal of mine to never move again… See, there I go wanting more again. Of course, if you really think about it, Black Friday begins moments after we finish giving thanks, so my wanting more is a bit of a cultural ‘of course’.

I want to say thanks for all the friends in my life. Naming all of you would take a very long time, but I do want to mention a few that have really helped me through the troubles over the last decade. Thank you Nikki, you’re the best. Alex, Kelly Ross (yeah, you’re kind of a big deal), Hondo, Tina, Lonnie, and my main man Dwight. I don’t pray much, but I offer thanks to my higher power for you all dropping into my life.

929. Waiver Wednesday

TGIW? I had an interesting trip to Vegas and there is more that I cannot say about it than I can (What happens in Vegas..) What I can say is that gambling on the FB games is alive and well. I am glad I didn’t gamble, because my picks this week lacked that Vegas luck. 8-6 does not a betting man make. However, it does put me over 100 correct calls on the season at 102-58. This week the games start early. I’ll start with the Turkey Day Triple..

DET over HOU
The Lions have had a rough goin of it, but they need this win and it will be nice to see Megatron finally get his.

WSH over DAL
The Browns almost got em. The ‘skins will.

JETS over NE
Upset alert! Yeah, they always let me down, but I think Rex has a little something up his sleeve.

IND over BUF

TEN over JAX
It will come down to the running game. Last week was a fluke.

CIN over OAK

CLE over PIT
QB #3 means loss #5

BUCS over ATL
Less of an upset here than you might think. If AZ didn’t stink on offense, this would have been last week’s wow moment. It is looking like a tough week for the Atlanta run defense.

SEA over MIA
Great initials for the Dolphins team. It encapsulates their defense and offense pass protection.

DEN over KC

CHI over MIN

BAL over SD

AZ over STL

49’rs over NO
Tough pick here. This game and the next are going to be very close–or at least they seem that way on paper.

Giants over GB
GB cannot stop anybody on defense.

 

 

 

 

 

928. Vegas Postscript

“I know it sounds funny but I just can’t stand the rain, so I’m leaving here tomorrow…”

 

I can’t promise those are the actual L. Richie lyrics, but that song has been stuck in my head for days now. The whole sound of that era is orbiting back around towards me, a memory of days gone by. See, I grew up on music. We had record players back then and I would drop the needle on an album almost every day, looking for the soundtrack to my day. These days don’t have a soundtrack so much as the constant background hum of video games and children’s screams. They are not being raised to love music the way I did—which is entirely my fault. Is music still as important to youth development? I think so, I just wonder about the songs they cling to with a love of the rhythm and little understanding of the meaning.

They’re into Gangam Style and LMFAO. They want it fast with a deep baseline that promises a structure for dance. When I try exposing them to lighter or even different stuff, they call it noise. Hey, Portishead is not noise. It is also not the kind of thing an 8 yr old is going to be up for.

Some Thoughts:

1. Here at the airport enjoying the wait with a friend. Good trip with good company. I try to go to these things every year. I missed out last year, but next year Boston will be host to the talislegger. This is meant to be the year of the conference. As I pointed out in my last post, I am not doing this to escape next time. I am doing it to connect to a community of writers, teachers, and readers. I am hoping to tap into that zeitgeist and grow from it a little each time. Of course, there will be drinks, and dancing, and talk of old times along the way. The more I go, the more I become a participant in those old times as opposed to hearing them for the first time.