Watching Union Square (Mira Sorvino) at 5 in the morning in a hotel in Denver. Its one of those movies that makes me cringe. Not because of the violence or sexual content or anything of the sort. None of that makes an appearance in this movie. No, this is about a woman who is a train wreck. She moves through each scene making a terrible and irreparable fool of herself and doesn’t even know it. As an observer it is easy to put together why she is such a mess. The more the movie goes on, the more uncomfortable it gets to watch. As she interacts with others, she manages to impede on their situations.
The film, the crisis, all of it resonate with me. There are times in my life where I feel like I’m that interrupting rhino just making a fool of myself and blissfully unaware of the long term damage I am doing. I wouldn’t call myself insecure, as the character from this film obviously is. I am more of an over thinker. I reflect on and analyze–even overanalyze–each moment of a situation and consider what I could have done differently, the repercussions of each individual action, and the lasting effects of every moment in time. I don’t do this always. Often life happens to quickly to allow for reflection, and often that is better than thinking too hard on what is, has been, and will be.
I don’t think I am a train wreck anywhere near on the level of what I’m watching. Heck, I don’t even think that is possible. Still the threads of understanding are there. I think we all have that piece of us that doubts, needs to be reassured, and needs to question the validity of their life. It might manifest as a change of career, or a mid-life crisis, or a tryst, or a holistic rebirth, even a blog. The questions are inevitable and we all handle them in our own way.