1272. Waiver Wednesday

When you become familiar with things it is easy to produce over and over again. I’ve become familiar with the Waiver Wednesday, so it is simple to churn out one of these bad boys, even when my mind is fatigued and devoid of ideas. So it is good fortune that this Wednesday’s 10 minute rule falls to football, for it requires no new neural pathways; no planning or forethought. Picking football is instinct, and my instincts are pretty good.

MIA over CIN
Going against the critics here, because I feel like Miami has a lot of opportunity at home. This is despite the fact that they lost a tackle and may have some dissension in the ranks. I think Miami can stop the run and force the pass. If they can minimize turnovers, I’m saying there’s a chance.

BUF over KC
AFC East week! I have little faith in the BUF offensive players, but I have heavy faith in the D to play hard and the O coaches to put together a strong gameplan.

MIN over DAL
The ‘Boys will have a hard time stopping Jared Allen this week, and an even tougher time keeping AP out of the endzone.

STL over TEN
STL home games are where the Rams do their dirty work. This game will be a close win for the home team.

NYJ over NO
My prediction presumes a defensive stand, and also respects the win every other week mentality of NY.

CAR over ATL
PHI over OAK
SEA over TB
BAL over CLE
NE over PIT
IND over HOU
GB over CHI

1271. Dead space

I’m really out of words this evening. I’ve sat here for the better part of ten minutes trying to figure some words to fill the blog, but I can’t reach into my creative center and draw out anything of worth. It seems then that I have finally run out of things to say.

Try again tomorrow.

1270. Reflections on a Monday Night

I’ve been doing quite a bit of reflecting as of late, and most of it in the wee hours of the morning when the world is asleep. I suppose this is the difference between writers with kids and writers on their own. Writers with kids are left to stalk the night in order to find a quiet moment, whereas writers on their own can find any moment to summon inspiration and put finger to keyboard. Let’s call that jealousy, shall we?

I’m long past the useless speculation of who I could have been without kids and a wife. Now it is more about how incomplete I would be were they not a part of my life. This in no way defends their behaviors or blatant unwillingness to let me put words to paper during waking hours. All of that is merely another set of obstacles I must overcome in order to achieve my goals. If I want something badly enough, I find a way to make it happen.

So, what do I want? NYT Best Selling Novels, flat screens in every possible crevice, time. Mostly time. I want to luxuriate in learning new things. I want to learn how to cook a five minute omelet and have the will, means, and tools to clean up the mess in under two minutes. I want my legs to stop acting like there’s glass in my bloodstream. I want to wake up feeling like my kids are learning something new and valuable everyday, and that the learning from yesterday sets the foundation for today’s learning, which sets the foundation for tomorrow. I want to know my children love me and each other and won’t slay anyone over a disagreement the way kids have been doing for centuries.

I want a breakfast that carries me longer than two hours. I want a gym I don’t feel inferior in. I want students who care about their learning and their craft more than I do.

I don’t know that I have the power to control all these things, but I know I need to accept responsibility and take control of the things I do hold sway over. I know I need to stop talking about doing that and get it done.

1269. 24 Hrs Removed

Down in the Canyon I watched a lot of people run rim to rim. There were men, women, young, old–every group conceivable moving through something wikipedia lazily refers to as a ‘strenuous’ hike with the speed of a marathoner. This is not to mention the dizzying heights involved here. I remember looking over the edge at one point and thinking that it would take me a good 15 seconds to hit the bottom. I could’ve been wrong about the numbers, but it felt right in my head the way running that trail both ways felt wrong in my head. It was in that moment I remembered my age and my utter lack of dedication to physical exercise.

24 hours removed from the rim I’m more self-reflective about the event. The hike was harder than I expected, but I expected a cake walk. That shows how much I knew and how little I researched before diving headlong into an adventure. The lesson to be learned here is: Be prepared. That’s something I learned from the Boy Scouts in the days before scout leaders were demolishing ancient rock formations (see if any scouts get invited to stonehenge). With a clearer head I can see that the challenge of the Canyon is less man vs. Nature as it is Man vs. Self. Perhaps in that sense most challenges are a matter of Man vs. Self as we all have to define our limitations and our willingness to commit to something to the point of surrendering other things.

The more I look around, the more I see evidence of that willingness to commit in all aspects of life. When you take a job, for example, you are saying that this time belongs to this singular pursuit and cannot be used for other purposes. When you commit to a religion you are saying ‘I commit to abide by these social mores’. Your level of commitment is a choice that you must make yourself, but it can be reflective of your success and even enjoyment in the rewards that commitment brings.

We five committed to a hike and the cost was a temporary pain and mental strain. The reward was knowledge of self. I know what my limitations are just a little bit more than I did a few days ago. Moreover, I know what it is going to take to expand them.

 

 

Some Thoughts:

  1. My freshman year of college was the first time I played any serious organized ball. I did baseball all the way up through my freshman year in H.S. and messed around with some club ball after that, but nothing prepared me for being handed a workout log and being told what weight I was expected to lift and be four weeks henceforth. Pain followed.  After a decade I forgot what it felt like to be in that much pain from a workout. I remember that now. The aches running through every part of my legs as a result of trying muscle clusters that haven’t felt action in 9 years. It may be another day before my body bounces back.

 

1268. The day I went down into the canyon

I have a healthy respect for heights and hiking. Put the two together and you may find yourself in a rather gnarly situation. The North Kaibab trail into the Grand Canyon is considered one of the harder canyon trails. There are tons of switchbacks and narrow spots where someone with poor balance and or limited hiking skills could get in trouble. I spent the day with four other guys between 36 and 53 trying to navigate all the twists and turns of what turned out to be a breathtaking (in every possible use of the word) hike into the canyon.

The Grand Canyon is a marvel of nature. It is a beautiful example of how hard life works to survive. I never quite understood that until I saw the brush and the pine trees cling to the side of sheer cliffs and thriving. Life does indeed find a way.
Our original goal was to hike down to the waterfalls and the pumping station and, as guys tend to do, dive in the water. I fell one mile short of that goal. Three out of the five made it down only to discover they couldn’t get to the water, but the taxing journey took its toll on me right before that last downhill. Like I said earlier: healthy respect. When my head started to get a little fuzzy and I felt like my depth perception was going a bit, I decided that living was a lot more important than ‘manning up’ and covering that last mile.
After around five miles each way it felt like there wasn’t much more my body had left to give, and us two stragglers fought to get back under the pain of cramped muscles and fatigue. My head cleared and I pushed through and made it back feeling wonderful. Despite not going all the way, I feel really fulfilled. I’ve never really hiked more than a mile or two in non-sidewalk terrain, so this experience tested me in a way I’ve never been tested before.
I’d say I won this rather impromptu battle of man vs. nature. I will also say that whatever I feel now is probably nothing compared to what I will feel in the morning. However, the good thing about guy trips is after such an experience we usually wind up ‘in the cups’ as it were. Vodka heals all.

1267. Musings from the Canyon Rim

I find myself nearly 8,000 feet above sea level and 30 minutes out from the rim of the Grand Canyon. It is a weekend trip with a handful of guys I’m fortunate enough to call friends. Tomorrow we plan to hike down into the Canyon and back up again–maybe 5 or 6 miles each way. It sounds like a little bit, but the  information I read says it is a bit more activity than i’ve done collectively over the past few weeks. This coming from a guy who said the other day that exercise was, basically, not gonna happen.

Maybe I should revise that statement: Exercise will not happen if it feels like exercise, but if I’m doing something fun, I might burn of a bit of the tire in the process. One hike, even a long one, surely will not accomplish that. Still, with the weather coming around nicely I may find myself more willing to run around with my boys and make myself healthier that way.
Back to the Canyon: Tomorrow I’ll likely regail you with the beauty and wonder of nature, but we cruised in with the late evening. The moon even took leave this night and I know nothing of what this place looks like. I know what it feels like: escape. Short of my ipad, this is a disconnected world, belonging more to Mother Nature than the digital realm. I have left TV behind, and I am better for it.
Now I sleep and look forward to a long and fulfilling hike.

Some thoughts:
  1. I started this post writing something else, but erased the first line and started fresh. Erasing reminded me of how it was before computers, when I did my writing out of a spiral notebook and deletion meant turning to a new page and starting from that sheet of white. I miss the days of paper. I’m still old enough to be able to flip back and forth, but my children’s children will write only from tablets, phones, and mid air keypads. It is hard to believe that I live at the end of the paper era.
  2. I wonder if I’ll look distinguished with glasses or just more nerdy?

1266. We only do it when we have to.

A good friend of mine put together this wonderful assignment on being an e-patient. The idea is that students should become informed about the medicine and treatments available to them should they fall ill. There is more to it than that, but the general gust is about becoming informed consumers in all aspects of your life. That assignment got her students thinking about cancer, and being a part of those conversations got me thinking about health and why we (read: me) are unhealthy people in the first place. I don’t feel like we are very proactive in our healthcare. I’m not talking about coverage, I’m talking about taking good care of ourselves. I suppose I am a culprit more than most, because I am blessed with a good metabolism and decent health, so I take advantage to eat like a pig and exercise not at all. I fear that if struck with some major malady, I would work like a beast to get healthy and fit. I fear that by that point it will be too late, yet I struggle everyday to convince myself to exercise and be healthy. Every day I lose that fight.

People don’t do optional, especially when optional means working harder. It is a matter of priorities. Would I rather spend 30 minutes a day working out or would I rather spend that time playing video games, reading a book, catching up on work, watching Breaking Bad, writing, or any number of enjoyable things I do. The gym makes it more of an obstacle when you calculate real vs. perceived time. Real time includes travel time, change time, and minor factors such as escape time (the time it takes to extract yourself from your home when you have kids who insist on going with you). So a half hour at the gym could mean an hour or more in real time.

This sounds like an excuse to be lazy but it is more of a rationalization of value. In a society predicated on immediacy, exercise is an irrational act–unless your life is at stake. Eating healthy–cooking food and the like–is equally irrational, given the number of expedient options both available and steadily reinforced through the mass media. It is more likely you will see 10 commercials about fast food options on any given channel (especially kid channels and food channels) than you will a commercial advertising the benefits and availability of healthy options such as salad. In short, we are programmed to be lazy junk food eaters. We are programmed to value such things before the healthier option and it is economically reinforced by the ease of financial access to unhealthy options vs. healthy options. An apple will cost me twice as much as a Twix bar. A monthly gym membership can be the cost of a single video game, and a full year membership will buy me a ps4 and an xbox one. Why then would I be inclined to make the leap to healthful living before I actually need to?

I spend hours each week thinking about this. I once sat for a full 5 minutes trying to decide if I wanted to do push-ups or not. Ultimately I didn’t do the push ups and instead ate some lemon cake. In the short term the cake was good, but my gut is bad, and my boys do find occasion to make fun of me when topless. Maybe that guilt will motivate me. Nothing else so far has.

1265. Waiver Wednesday

Quite the week of pigskin last week. There were some terrible injuries, which may dash the playoff hopes of some teams and ignite others. My ability to pick as of late has been grievously injured, but I’ll keep trying. I, like my Giants, am hoping for a major turn around…still.

TB over CAR
I still believe in Revis, even if the coach doesn’t use him right. I think TB worked out the kinks and should work out a win this weekend.

 

DET over DAL

KC over CLE

MIA over NE

NO over BUF

SF over JAC

PHI over NYG
Vick is back. It didn’t go well for the Giants last time he showed up. Never does.

 

NYJ over CIN
NY hasn’t won back to back games all season, but a fool and his data are soon parted. I’m taking the Jets here. Geno will screw it up at first but show up when it matters. That’s the Geno Way.

 

OAK over PIT

DEN over WSH

AZ over ATL

GB over MIN

 

SEA over STL
I really hope they play Percy Harvin. Fantasy points aside, this is the best chance to bring the guy in slowly against a team that, frankly, sucks.

 

1264. On Reading and Writing

I have an on again off again love affair with modern fiction. I just feel safer in cyberspace or in the clutches of a dragon. Something about the unreality of it all says that I can expect clear rules and scenarios that don’t devolve into senseless madness. Rarely in a fantasy novel does a gunman stalk through a kindergarten classroom picking and choosing who dies. Perhaps there is more to it than that though. I, being no psychologist, am hard pressed to uncover the deeper truths of my own psyche. I can only say that it feels comfortable out there and less so when writing the lines of the modern day. This is why I feel such a swell of confusion at that writerly proverb, Write what you know. For, how can I ever really know a world where a trio of precogs uncover what crime you intend to commit before you do it, or a world where a slip of science unleashes an army of creatures who are not alive yet not quite dead?

Often I hear the term derivative applied to the works of some authors–myself included. The critics suggest that a writer lifted the cloth of one story, stapled them to another and called it a new creation. This happens often, and is often purposeful, but I suspect it does happen as a result of a shared awareness of the world around us as well as our reactions to what we see, hear, and even read. When we experience new things and have the same background of previous experiences it is possible to come to the same conclusions. Therefore two authors came simultaneously arrive at the same plot. What will differ in that plot is the characterization, for those characters arrive wholly from the specific day-to-day experiences of the writer.

I encourage writing the stories that come to you. Don’t worry about being derivative or doing something already done–everything has already been done. Focus on the people and tell that tale. Perhaps write what you know really means write who you know, for in those relationships you will find your uniqueness.

1263. Emil Torath Tales

I started thinking about the people of Emil Torath and my mind floated to Ikrivain. I decided to spend 10 minutes questioning the idea of who he is–or at least who he thinks he is. These moments appear in every novel in some form. The character questions or reveals their identity and then reflects on that identity in the middle and again at the end as a way to show the character’s growth throughout the novel. So, here we go with part 1:

Ikrivain

The day I met my father was the day I became a killer. No, it was not him I slayed. He is a mercenary, see. When He heard of my birth he came to see me and to blood me proper. We went down to Calisanth, near the shore where the poor wash themselves in the river. My father serves with a large company of men, men who take pleasure in the blooding those who believe a man is not whole until he has blooded another. Six of these men were with him that day, and they found a boy of 9 years, much older than I, and larger as well. I watched them pull the boy from the river and when his own father stood to block them, they offered a bag a silver–two pieces for each year of the boy’s life. My father said, “Those silver belong to my son here. We mean to set the two against each other, and the purse shall fall to he who does not.”
That easy a bargain was struck. I’d not used a blade, not even to part meat from a hare or shave bread into chunks that could be eaten. He called the blade he gave me a dagger, but to a boy of six years it might as well have been a sword. The other boy did have a sword, a short jagged length of metal one of my father’s men produced. There were other bets as well, and the man who shared his sword placed is coins and his faith upon the other child.
The men circled around us so that all we could see were their black leathers and the summer sun beating upon us. I remember the smell of the river, the sweat of my father’s men and their cheers.
The other boy was as scared as I, but had the look of a tougher soul. His skin was red from many hours in the sun and he held his blade in front of him with two hands, pointing it down towards me.
I started to back up and one of my father’s men shove me from behind. I tumbled forward and would’ve fallen into to the boys blade had he not leaped away fearfully. They all laughed at us then. I scrambled to my feet as another mercenary shoved the boy towards me. His blade slid across my shoulder and I yelped. The men continued to laugh and cheer, egging the boy on.
I backed away and was pushed back to the center, this time by my father himself. He growled, and demanded I prove I was his kin.
The boy jabbed his sword at me clumsily. For all his size he wasn’t very fast or agile. I danced away and swung my dagger at his blade. Metal rang against metal and the men cheered louder than ever. We clashed blades like that twice, three times until I could feel the rattle of it in my elbows. I dipped backwards at the boys next swipe and his weight carried him off balance. He fell to his knees and his blade stuck in the ground. I came around behind him, the tiny crowd whipped into a frenzy now.
I froze. I did not know how to kill then. I held my dagger out in front of me and jabbed it almost questioningly into his rear. He howled in pain. He spun around with his blade and it dug into the same shoulder he’d struck before. I know now that if I dropped my blade then I would not be hear to tell this tale.
But I did not drop it. Instead I found courage and sank the dagger deep into his chest. The men roared. Afterwards my father came to me and gave me the bag of coins. 18 silver pieces. He left me the dagger and made me promise to learn it. I never saw the man again.