Month: October 2013

An interesting intellectual conversation is happening on Facebook and face to face around the idea of youth in sports. My big bro-in-law proffered the idea that early entry into sports can cause burnout. He’s right, I admit. Unless the kid has a healthy love of the sport and unless the practices walk that razor’s edge of fun and educational, there is not much that playing as a kid can add to a kid’s appreciation of making sport a lifestyle. Kids these days (look at me sounding like my gammy) don’t have an appreciation for organized sports. In fact, I made the comment in our conversation that organized sports at the city or rec (YMCA out here) level are akin to playground play with cool outfits. I went on to discuss it with a number of friends (which is what a guilty person does, btw, to absolve themselves of guilt) who agreed with him and with me in part, understanding that the desire to play has to come from the kid.

What about the desire to win?
The concept of victory has been abolished in youth sports. We don’t keep score, we give everyone a trophy, and then we clap loudly as they flumox play after play. I am not that coach. I recognize the schizophrenia inherent in being that coach. Look, when every professional athlete is being paid a minimum of a quarter million a year, they are, in a sense, getting that basic trophy we give all kids for participating. Hey, thanks for playing and here is your 250K. This is a factor why many I speak to enjoy college sports more. They recognize there is no golden carrot there. Those athletes need to win to be successful. The pros, like the YMCA kids, win by merely making it to the game. So, why do some teams do better than others? Love and Glory.

There are a handful of players in the NFL who can be seen as supremely talented. You cannot replace Peyton Manning or Adrian Peterson or the ‘venerable’ Champ Bailey. Many of the others get by on their love of the sport and their sheer determination to feel the glory of victory. I’ve never been part of a winning athletic program past elementary school, so I don’t know what it feels like to win at the top level. In truth, I’m a bit of a curse (My Cyclones went 0-10-1, and my Hitmen did almost as bad. Both franchises perked up immediately after my association with them ended. The Hitmen won a damn championship). I know that watching these winners and losers, I can see the difference in the way they carry themselves, otherwise known as their ‘swag’. It is that swag that partially instructs my picks for each game of the picks week.

That brings us to the picking:

Giants over Bears
The blood letting must end, and this is the time to do it. I cannot fathom the G-men feeling any lower than they did last week as they were decimated, surrendering yet another 36 point game to the opposing offense. I know my G-men are not playoff bound, but I believe that they will rediscover their identity tonight with some ground and pound paired with a lot of downfield passing. Peanut Tillman: They coming for you!

Packers over Ravens
In what promises to be a explosive second half, the Ravens will fall into new ‘old habits’ and give up on the run game under threat of the massive Packer passing attack.

Bengals over Bills
Not much to say about this one. The practice squad QB doesn’t fill me with hope.

Texans over Rams
Shaub would lose his job if this game were on the STL turf, but it isn’t. He may still lose his job, but not the game.

Raiders over Chiefs
Yep. Two upsets in the works so far. Giants have it coming and so do the Chiefs…

Lions over Browns
I refused to pick yesterday in part because of this game. We all thought CLE was dead after the trade, but for the first time I can see how their system works, and it is quite effective. The Lions are less effective without Megatron stretching the field, which is why I am concerned about the pick. It isn’t clear if he will play or not (knee).

Vikings over Panthers
Behold the awesome power of AD-AP

Seahawks over Titans
Game is in Seattle. Nuff said.

Saints over Patriots
Jets have a legit chance to share first place.

Niner’s over Cards
The Cards have suffered too many injuries to be consistent.

Cowboys over Redskins
They might want to consider a name change after this horrific beating.

Colts over Chargers
Shootout! I think Turnovers play the critical role in this one.

I’m out.

I must confess it is harder to make picks on Wednesday because you aren’t so clear about the injuries. For example, is Vick going to sit? If so, it changes the outcome. It messes with my fantasy points too. What about Geno’s Jets? If he doesn’t have receiving weapons he may not generate a lot of offense against a Pittsburgh team coming off a bye week (and a trip to London). All of these questions churn in my mind in the days leading up to the waiver spot, but now that we are here, I have no answers.

Maybe it is so important I know these things because my last few weeks have been terrible. 9 – 5 is respectable if you aren’t as far back of the leaders as I am. So, 46 – 30 overall is sixteen games above .500 and 8 games below respectable. I have this week to bring myself back up, so I am going to forego my picks for a day. In truth, I need that day to give a few players more time to emerge from the healing chrysalis–or not.

I enjoy these football days. Once upon a time I dreamed of being an NFL player. These days I dream of coaching at a mid level–perhaps high school or middle school–somewhere that I can work with film. There is something chess like about football that I enjoy. You’re in a match of wits with another person, but a great deal of the play is left to luck and left to the talent of your roster. Maybe it won’t be as fun as I think, but I’m looking for a chance to find out.

I think too much of people. Something I really struggle with is the idea that folks need a lot of clear and specific instruction on how to do things. I’m talking about every thing. In teaching it is how to hold an intellectual conversation, how to stage the various stages of an assignment, how to transfer simple skills from one type of task to another, and so on. This can be a spot of difficulty in my teaching, because I teach in an environment where most students won’t stand up and say, “I don’t get this” even if I ask the class out loud and sometimes even if I ask the student in private. It is the idea of needing help for things that they feel should be easy and I recognize are difficult, but far more difficult than I recognize.

Because of this phenomenon, I lowballed my kids for a while, judging them as less intelligent than they really are. ‘This is too easy’ became synonymous with ‘I’m bored’ and ‘what else can we do?’ All three pointed to the idea of challenge and that very small region of psychological engagement known as the Zone of Proximal Development.

I think, in the spirit of saying random but inspirational drek, I will add this to my focus. I will try to be better about breaking things down and explaining them and I will try to be much more cognizant of everyone’s ZPD. This year I’ll move back towards the New Year’s resolution, but in the form of a new code of conduct to govern my behaviors. After all, isn’t that what a New Year’s resolution is all about?

Some Thoughts:
1. Big things coming in my writing. I am almost done getting all my long term family and work stuff squared away, which gives me a year’s worth of a manageable workload, or as I see it, several hours a night to write my ass off. So shall it begin.

2. Hitting a lot more 10K step days lately, though it isn’t showing in any physical way.I feel like I need to find the will and thus a way to step up more.

3. Thinking about random acts of kindness: I’ve done many in the past but less so since having kids, which goes to show, perhaps, that RAKs are tied to time, opportunity, and psychological preparedness, three things generally stolen by the advent of spawn.

4. I love my kids, really.

5. Having kids is damn hard.

Lack of sleep has dragged me into the depths of allergies right in the middle of flu season. My guard is down at a time where I should be doing everything to stay healthy. I’m considering Zyrtec or some other such supplement. I am also watching Prometheus, which constantly proves to be a stimulant to my imagination.

I must say tonight is another night for rambling. Sometimes it is good to clear out the mental cobwebs in order to make room for fresh thoughts. Lately the cobwebs are in the shape of lingering paperwork, football playbooks, and compound sentence structures. Trapped in those webs are plots of stories I’ve never cared to write but wondered how they would look in print. If you look closer you’ll find the gossamer threads of dual enrollment responsibility, an odd collision between the world of high school and college that I’ve chosen to navigate.

Okay, enough thinking. Now I want to enjoy Prometheus.

This is one of those nights where I can’t seem to put together much by way of coherent thoughts. The 3 hrs and 43 minutes of sleep from the night before may have something to do with that. Still, I need to take care of all of my old business so I can dedicate myself in full to the novel process. Until the ‘morrow it is just going to be these loose thoughts, so might as well get started…

1. I really should make my pics on fridays, because by then the injury reports are in and I know exactly what impact these missing parts will have.
2. Still feeling a lot of numbness and or tingling all down my left arm. I thought it was a stroke the first day, but a month in I’m convinced I have some nerve issues, likely in my neck.
3. As my #3 QB (playing for the first time in my fantasy roster) collects points in garbage time, I find myself thinking about how much better it feels to win than to lose. Last year I was 2-11 and this year I’m 5-0. Nice.
4. That winning rule applies to kids sports too. This weekend my middle guy ‘tied’ a matchup where the ref failed to call some clear penalties on our side of the ball. Normally, I don’t get pissed about these things, but her failure to call the penalties emboldened the other team and they kept on playing dirty until they injured several of our players, including my kid. For example, once the goalie has the ball you back off. You don’t run up and kick him in the head and then act like you were trying to kick the ball out of his hands… Then you as a ref should never turn to the coach of the boy kicked and say, “I don’t know why they don’t know they can’t do that.” Maybe because when they do it you complain to me instead of telling them what they did wrong?
5. While it is clear that pornography creates an unhealthy standard for women, it is also clear (by the rampant success of the plastic surgery industry) that women are more willing to conform than to challenge. Who can blame them? I mean, I’d rather be adored than be the lonely righteous one.
6. Of course, the opposite is true in my writing. I tend to write how I would not act.

 

 

I’m writing this at 2 in the morning. On the weekends 2 is still a half-hour out from bedtime. My wife and I recently had a conversation about these late nights. The conversation started off about the amount of time outside of work hours I spend working. I tried to explain that not everything I do is slaved to the one job. I write professionally and that has nothing to do with developing curriculum or grading papers. Unless you are a writer or artist it appears to be impossible to understand that people may pour hours and weeks into a task that pays them pennies–if anything at all–because they love doing it.

Writing is a responsibility. The moment you recognize that being a writer is who you are, you have a responsibility to that role. You are required to write. It may be called a hobby or a career but it is really a calling. Like a religious calling, the only people who are going to understand that are the people just like you.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Saw hints of that killer instinct in my middle child today. He threw himself in harms way to get the results he wanted. He played hard and never gave up. Nice work, kid.
2. Staying away from information about Breaking Bad’s series finale is about as hard as dodging a mosquito in Arizona.

I study my children.
I’m the guy behind the two-way mirror holding a clip board and considering. Everything. Lately my analysis has turned to sports and the way my kids handle sports. When I watch the pros, and even back in college in that one sad year I was a part of that world, I could see the guys who were real and the ones who weren’t going to be at the next level. Skill was a part of it, but it was the smallest part of it. Determination, drive, and above all else, killer instinct.

Jordan is the poster child for killer instinct. When he played he wanted to put you away. He wanted to make sure the next time you faced him you were 100% afraid of what might happen to your now-fragile ego. Killer instinct also means rising to the challenge of playing superior talent until you become that superior talent. Now I see glimpses of both behaviors in my two oldest kids, but I don’t see them both in any kid. The eldest has that killer instinct. He’ll fight to the end and by the end he wants to put you down for good. He wants to do this in sports, video games, arguments, eating contests, hell, he wants to do it in a farting contest. No matter the challenge, he wants to win badly. The middle child is the ‘step up’ kid. He always wants to rumble with the big kids. He wants to get in there and hold his own and see what he can do. He is a fast learner and when encountering a new skill or trick or sport he gets the look in his eyes that says, “I can do this.”

You gotta have both to be a pro. My eldest wants to be a pro, so I need to find a way to teach him ‘step up game’. There may come a time where all three develop that pro instinct. I hope it happens. I love it when my boys want something badly and fight as hard as they can to get it.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. 1245 is a lot of posts. Here’s to over 3 yrs of writing every stinking day.

The funny thing about Thursdays is they are my Friday. It is my last day of class, and often the last chance to get to see the people I care about at the office for a few days. Thursdays therefore are a bit of a reboot for me. I shut down all the energy of the last week (good or bad) and refocus myself in preparation of the coming week. I look forward to the coming Monday because I know I will be ready and I know it Thursday likely means disconnecting from the academic reality for a while and just being a husband and a dad. I love that part, if if I never feel I am good enough to deserve either honorific.

Some thoughts:

1. You learn a lot about yourself by your self perceptions, your flaws, and the things you find ways to rationalize.

2. Happiness is easier when the weather allows for such things.

3. Had to renumber several posts. I shorted myself a hundreds place

I am still lamenting the horrible season the Giants are having, but at least I’m 4-0 in the fantasy realm. I only have 2 Giants on my roster and they don’t even try to score points anymore. I try to score wins in the correct pick column. Sometimes I’m right. 9-5 last week, which means 37-25 overall. I’m 10 behind Jawarski, the picks leader. I need a few good weeks to catch up. Lets get it.

 

BUF over CLE
Impressive as the CLE run has been, BUF has a legit defense and momentum to carry them through.

NO over CHI

NE over CIN

DET over GB
Shoot out here. This game is tough to call, but I don’t think GB can stop Bush.

IND over SEA
I wish I had Luck this week. He’ll be scoring on the ground.

BAL over MIA
Didn’t believe last week. Still don’t.

PHI over NYG
Just don’t even say it. Not a word.

STL over JAC

KC over TEN

ARI over CAR

DEN over DAL

SF over HOU

SD over OAK

ATL over NYJ

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I’m still not sure the leading lady can carry The Blacklist. I’m also not sure she needs to at this point. I would put it on par with the other new NBC show, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I need more from both, though the mystery of The Blacklist is more intriguing than the Marvel offering. The Marvel offering is teeming with weak characters and unfulfilling mysteries. It isn’t Whedon strong, but it is cool.

I cannot think of a better way to release a book that tackles the curious question of living zombies than a zombie flash mob. I spent the afternoon sipping a wonderful Watermelon iced tea and then wandering into range of a hungry mob of zombies who mauled one woman and then did the thriller dance.

Yeah, that happened.

The mob was part of a novel release party at Arizona State University for author Tom Leveen and his new book Sick. Leveen is a noted YA author whose previous works are slowly racking up awards. Zombies–horror in general–is not a new topic for him. He is an avid follower of the King (Stephen, not Elvis). Following the mob scene, Leveen spoke along with other scholars about the role of zombies in popular culture.

Zombies have been around for an incredibly long time. Over the last few decades the idea of zombies has morphed from the Vodoo-insipired stories of Haiti to the infection-driven plague set forth to eat all of humanity.

There is a certain simplicity in the zombie mythos. In the world of zombies there is little to distinguish us besides Alive or not, and the living are forced to band together in order to stay living. Zombies and post-apocalyptic stories flower from the same tree. Both tell the tale of folks who want to separate from the shackles of modern society and live in the land of simple goals. It doesn’t get simpler than, “Stay alive!”

Doomed to live in a zombie world, I would have very few rules and but two goals: Stay alive, and find some more of that watermelon tea.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Fell behind quite a bit in the class, which is resulting in a inability to do things on the time frame I really want to do them. What I am instead left with is a lot of confused kids who, while happy, are probably losing faith in their ability to trust when things will be due. At any rate, it isn’t really fair to give them more work until the past work is graded.