Month: February 2016

Chris Rock killed it at the Oscars. If my partner in viewing is to be believed, he killed it a little too much. In other words, the controversy over race was expertly addressed early in the Oscars, but remained a prevalent theme that began to detract from the overall experience as the hours wore on. I agree with her in part. The constant references to the lack of color did drone after a while, but this was a necessary argument to have. What concerned me the most was that the whole race argument fell on the shoulders of Jada Pinkett-Smith, who doesn’t deserve to be out in front of this thing.

Joke of the night: (Rock) Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rhianna’s panties. I wasn’t invited! That joke encapsulated the problem right there. She doesn’t have the gravitas to make the argument that she did. Instead she came off as a woman angry about her husband not being recognized for this particular season of film work. I didn’t see his film, so I don’t know if he deserves it or not. I do think the people who won were very deserving of the honor–except for Leo who took that award from someone who earned it this year.

I believe there is a problem with being non-white in hollywood and I believe that problem is systemic and financially driven. The people with the money swear that white leads are needed to make money and that isn’t entirely true anymore. However, that old money tied to old ideas is what keeps Hollywood in our hearts and keeps the majority of people of color in the industry on the outs.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. What I love the most about the walking dead are the complex relationships and love stories that spring forth in this land of after death. The story here–the real story–is how you manage to stay human and sexual and maintain faith in the whole thing moving forward when it is so much easier to give up and become a monster–living or otherwise.

I’m planning this assignment for my developmental students. The idea comes from this season of award shows where we are all listening to the ‘Academy’s’ voice as to what the best picture of the year is. My plan is to do Oscar 2.0 with the classes and have them design their own series of film reviews detailing what they would vote in as best picture of the year as well as other categories. I also think they should present them to the class–petitioning the class to support their votes.

In other words, I want to have an Oscar redo in my classroom. Only, the actual nominees are totally off limits. Anything already slated as Oscar-worthy has been so written about and toiled over that I cannot hope for original essays from the students. The lure of potential plagiarism would be too great.

My plan starts at the top. I’m going to have them all write their top three films on the board and we will erase the ones already under consideration (of course, by the time this is unveiled the Oscars will already be over). What we are left with will be our pool for the Oscars.

This is where it gets tricky.
I want a pool for as many categories as possible, but I’m not sure how to winnow the list down to something I can potentially have them vote on. Furthermore I am trying to solve the group component of this whole thing and haven’t. I’ll keep working on it…

Some Thoughts:

1. Spent a lot of time building relationships in this tiny l’il town of mine. Now it seems I’m making my fair share of enemies as well. This all stems around sports of course. I don’t hate anyone but I’ve seen a lot of side eye and shit talk these last few days. I’m going to continue overlooking that nonsense and go about the business of sticking with the kids and parents I’m tied to.
2. On the other hand, I won’t be in this town forever, so why care so much? It is in the blood, I think.

 

I’m freaked out by how little people know about their candidates. I’m more freaked about where they are getting their information. According to one voting age student Hillary Clinton has murder charges against her, is personally responsible for people dying in the Benghazi terror attack, and really wants to kill babies. Meanwhile, Trump is a stand up guy who takes no nonsense and will put our country back on track. On track for what, she won’t say (or even knows). Still, I have to remember who I was as a young person. I remember liking Bill Clinton for his smooth sax-playing ways and charming smile and thinking he was, in a social way, the first black president. His presence allowed me to ignore the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Is that really any different than these folks liking Trump because he treats other people we dislike like crap?

I wish I could say it is different, but part of what I was getting at in that late night blog about the issue is that Trump represents the discontent of a lot of people. That rage springs up out of somewhere and is the same rage that drives extremism. It is the anger and unwillingness to embrace common sense that allows us to label people. It is the fundamental flaw of any people who are not, ultimately, happy with the way things are.

Politicians professionally tap into that rage well and bring about changes that benefit themselves financially and help to reinforce a world view they enjoy and are employed by. What can we do or say about the situation? Well, nothing.

Except have the common sense to vote for someone else.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Here is something dancers inherently understand that the rest of us figure out eventually: Clothes are just forms of expression that are interchangeable and don’t actually define who you are. It is just a costume.
2. I’ve lost faith in the combine as anything more than a tool to help me understand what the eventual stats of my Madden 17 players. We’ve seen them in action, which is far more telling than catching passes and running sprints and throwing balls under no coverage or blitz whatsoever.

 

I am a lucky man. I’ve managed to fall into a work situation that is something I really enjoy doing. I get to interact with young minds every day and participate in their growth an exploration of a world that grows smaller yet deeper with each passing tech iteration. I teach a swirl of subjects that allow me to stay engaged in literature and non-literary writing. So long as I get the competencies handled, I can teach however I like. All of that is meaningless unless the students are engaged.

I’ve been almost anti-social at work lately, struggling to balance the responsibilities of office with the realities of life, family, and relationships. A good deal of that has to do with feeling like I’m drowning in essays and assignments, never fully able to get ahead of it all. Now none of that matters if I feel like I walk into a classroom and have a moment with the students where we share that love of learning. This hasn’t been happening as much in some classes and virtually not at all in one class in particular.

The class in question is a mythology class where I am trying to connect classic mythological understanding to modern literature. We are currently cruising through the world of Gaiman’s American Gods, a story I felt connected all of mythology together in a big ole soup. Now I get that the novel is a hard read and that I as an instructor am very demanding of critical thinking, but this group is killing me. Not getting it is one thing, but not wanting to try to find meaning is making me hate my job.

I need to figure out a way to figure them out and give them the space to build that connection between the novel and themselves and to discover the joy of mythology so I can get back to reveling in the joy of teaching.

Some Thoughts:

1. This argument over whether or not the President should nominate a new Supreme Court Justice is stupid. It ignores one key fact: Nominations take time. Clearly, republicans are banking on the hope that the White House goes to a republican, giving them more influence in naming the new justice. The problem there is that we are still talking about a really long time for an incoming president to nominate and vet a candidate and then for the hearings to happen to get that person in office. Meanwhile, the 3rd pillar of the federal government is effectively incompetent for the duration of two calendar years (including this one). Why? Because with 8 they can become deadlocked and unable to solve any legal issue.
2. As I write this I’m sitting at Village Inn (part of my T/H morning writing ritual) listening to a car alarm go off. In another era I would have gone outside after the first 2 minutes to figure out how I could help. Today I merely blog about how I would’ve done so. Meanwhile, the horn drones on.
3. One of the reasons I come here is because the waiter I always get is kind of an asshole. He bitches when I show up late or not at all or yawn too much. Feels very New York. Feels like home.

I’m really glad I was never talented enough to be a professional athlete. It feels like a small death to hear someone look at a 34 year old and say, “his best days are behind him.” We are in that era where the window for success seems to creak shut faster and faster. This isn’t the same for writing and science where wisdom is valued over youth.

I suppose this line of thinking feels more mission critical now that I’m in a situation where my body is falling completely apart. I just had my first sinus headache, which severely challenged my ability to reason and ultimately teach. I am not used to that localized pain and pressure. I am even less used to the effect it has on my body.

Still, this blog isn’t about complaining. It is a brief moment of understanding and disappointment about the concept of aging and how our view aging makes it difficult to feel anything but pity towards the idea of maturing (read: growing old). I am seeking other emotions about aging. I’m trying to get excited about it, because of all the challenges (read: work) it has to come.

Some Thoughts:

1. Saw my son’s old team practicing. I was pleased to see the level of involvement of other players. It wasn’t about one or two kids. This is an actual team and about spreading the ball a little bit more. I like it.

 

Watching Kevin Negandhi on Sportscenter reminded me of a very difficult truth. All of this is built as a house of cards. I am saying this as an observer and participant in a culture that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Follow me here: We have dozens of sports channels on cable TV. Espn has maybe 8 of its own. This glut of channels is relatively new. When I was a kid there wasn’t even a ESPN. Why do they exist? To inform you about the sports of the world. In other words, these channels exist purely to inform us about what matters to us. They are commercial enterprises that make money based on how many advertisers are willing to buy ad space to sell us things they want us to buy. Yes, virtually all TV is this way, but with sport it is more specific.

My kids play youth sports, and I’d be lying to you if I didn’t, at least subconsciously, think about them parlaying that talent to something professional, collegiate, or at least highlight worthy. I’m trained to do so. Sportscenter, smartly, shows me highlights of games at all levels. I don’t go a week without seeing a game clip of some kid doing a spectacular play. I also feel like I’m given so much information that the sheer volume of it ensures its importance. I can no longer name the periodic table, but I can name every relevant player on every roster in the NBA.

I don’t even watch basketball.

I haven’t seen a full game since last year’s NBA finals. That isn’t even entirely about the TV. Its about the video games, the commercials–all of it working together to manufacture importance towards something that really isn’t. Who knows if we will ever stop caring. I cannot hope the house comes crashing down, because there are millions of good people employed by the industry of sport. I just wish they (we) all focused on something a little more important to humanity.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I’m starting to recognize how hard it must’ve been to be a fan of anyone else during the Bulls epic Jordan years. Now, with the spotlight firmly centered over the Warriors, nobody else can be seen. Forget for a moment that the Spurs (who’ve been doing it for decades, right?) are barely a few losses behind the warriors and well in line to break the 72-10 record. Forget that there happens to be an entire Eastern Conference. No, this is all about the Warriors and nobody else counts–unless you happen to screw up. Then you matter enough to be laughed at and serve as a reminder that the Warriors cannot be stopped.
2. This case in Egypt really illustrates the false construct of justice in the world. I mean really? Mistaken identity ought to be sorted out before the trial and subsequent guilty verdict. And once that happens you cannot just take the closest available human and blame him.
3. Apologies for the late night blogs. They ain’t good.

I was thinking about what to write about tonight when the sleep bug hit me again. I started to ‘fuzz out’ unable to really get a real sense of what I was doing; unable to hold a lasting thread of consciousness. That has been happening more and more and is a core contributor to the recent slate of bad blogs. Excuses, I know. About as useful as something unspeakable placed on your elbow. Still, there is a bit of truth to doing bad work when you’re in a bad headspace.

So for me that comes down to using uncontrolled substances. I abuse caffeine regularly. My ‘night cup’ is what allows me to stay aware enough to get through ten minutes of writing each night. Nine minutes into this blog ad I still haven’t found a point.

Maybe that is the point. We all know by now that I cannot do this when I am tired.

I think I’m starting to understand the Trump movement a bit more. If you consider his primary demographic, it is white males aged 45+ and usually not college educated. That correlates with a certain idea of privilege, American bravado, so-called straight talk, and ideology. This is the core group of people who believe the greatest generation already was born and died. At the same time there is a upswell of voters who are the younger polar opposite of that demographic who have been powering the Bernie Sanders campaign to close wins and losses across the states.

The rest of us sit in the middle, content to vote for someone we know and expect to have a nuanced understanding of the national and international political situation.

These powerful opposing forces I mentioned will need to go head to head to answer that question of ‘where and what is America?’ and ‘How do we make America strong again?’

Some Thoughts:

1. I started to trail off at the end there, losing time and consciousness. Late blogs, man…

My friend Dawn just threw an epic party for her son. She is not the first mom to straight up kill it with some activity or design or something spectacular for her kid. at this point it has become fairly commonplace that these moms are gonna crush it and make their kids’ lives amazing. Me, I do what I can, but frankly I wasn’t raised that way and I often feel ill equipped to be as amazing and productive as the people who I watch in awe. Still, this isn’t that blog. This isn’t going to be a sad sappy tale about how I cannot do great things for my kids or even the opposite, a wonder strewn story about how I’m going to do this, that, and the other thing. No, this is a different kind of blog–the kind of blog Bob Smith would be really in to. This is about accepting what can be done and what cannot.

There are a handful of things I’ve come to recognize as truth. (1) This place makes me stagnant. I’m speaking of the state, but given the legalities and pension tying me here, I cannot go anywhere, nor will I be abandoning my given profession anytime soon. So, this place has to have a more focused meaning. In other words, I mean the home. (2) I’ve accumulated a lot of stuff because I don’t pay a lot of attention to what I have or even what I want. Yeah, first world problems are rampant. (3) I don’t really do enough to remind my kids what being a good person is all about.

All three things are reasonable changes. I can change addresses or at the very least make some changes to the home that prevent me from being stagnant. This is reasonable and easy. I can’t afford to move, but I can afford to cut back on a lot of the things that keep me trapped here. That in of itself creates a sense of urgency that could snap me out of this middle class wealth coma. As far as the stuff goes, I’ve been reading Marie Kondo’s book on tidying up. She seems to be aware that everyone has too much and I’ve already started planning time and space to declutter. Finally, the last part is the hardest. I think it means telling my kids more about my life and what I do. It means peeling them off the video games and putting them in a book. It means playing outside and teaching them a jump shot. It means being 100% present, which I rarely am. For anyone.

I won’t just do that last bit for them. That last bit is the key. It is what separates people we think are fantastic from people we think are false. Being present is everything I want to do and be composed in a single instant. That’s ground zero for being the best version of me.

It might lead to better blogging too.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. I’m pretty certain my blog posts are highly reflective of my headspace.
2. Ever wake up and realize you’re not doing enough with your life? I prefer to call that Saturday.

I stumbled upon Sarah Schecter’s twitter feed and was pleasantly surprised. She has that chill and perceptive cool about her that is common among a particular flavor of creative–the kind I like. Schecter is a heavy (read: executive producer) for Greg Berlanti’s epic film house. They are putting out all of the DC stuff and other shows like The Mysteries of Laura as well. Add it up and I’m starting to see evidence of a rising group of Hollywood producers whose brand of TV just works.

For a while it was Orci who ran things but the Berlanti contingent, with Lence and Schecter carryoing the torch, is doing some excellent things for TV. Did I mention they do Blindspot too?

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Watching Dr. Carson in the town hall reminds me that people still don’t understand what welfare is or how it is applied. Also don’t think he really answers the questions being asked, which makes him human and a politician after all.
2. The lines that he clearly expected to be applause lines, were not and that is a format restriction. His big ideas are legit and strangely democratic…
3. The world is not more dangerous than it was prior to 9/11. The media is more prevalent and screams more, but the actual dangers aren’t greater. Lately people have pointed to the San Bernadino attacks as proof that things are in the shitter, but I’ve been aware of multiple religion-based shootings every year.