Month: April 2019

I remain surrounded by people who desire recognition and leadership who believes that providing such to the people who they feel have done things in the fashion they choose to be relevant and desirable will best indenture the service of those individuals. In laymen’s terms, I presently work in a spot where folks are about the likes.

I used to be about the likes. I used to be all about the likes and I had an excellent mentor who told me the most important thing of my professional career. He said (I am paraphrasing here), If you’re in this job for people to say thank you, then you are in the wrong job. I really was that guy looking for the thanks and the camaraderie and the adulation. It came in thin streams like water from a spigot covered in grime. It was never worth what I gave to get it. Not the time or the energy or the sacrifices in other areas of my life. Instead I reached the point where my value to the people I care for the most was at its least. So, finally, I started to move on.

Now I can see from the other side of the process. I have moments where I laugh at where I was and how hot I would get at people taking credit for my stuff and or alienating me in order to advance their own agendas. My greatest agenda in all of it was to be liked and appreciated. That isn’t much of a goal and it led me to rolling back and forth between initiatives like an unmoored bottled on a ship at sea. I never gave my all. Today I give my all to a handful of things and I know damn well what I want. Everything else is just a job.

It helps to know what matters and what doesn’t. For me what happens inside the classroom matters. Working with my teaching partner matters. The community I create with my students and between my students matters. Though there remains a lingering sense of the life and self that was, I clearly recognize that the rest of the work experience doesn’t matter.

I ain’t in it for the likes.

I was in the middle of a conversation with a student about Simulation Theory when I started to see an image in my head of a man holding a coffee cup. This sort of vivid imagery used to be normal for me and a sure sign of my connection to the story realm. I saw the man, Oliver, holding his cup and staring at it in absolute confusion. See, when he picked up the cup there was a particular picture on it (I cannot see the picture yet). However when he looked again the image had changed.

This was a glimpse into a story. I gained access to that view because my mind was open and I was allowing myself to see the world in story and drawing inspiration from everything in my path. That last part is key. Not everyone is nuts like me and believes that all stories come from an alternate reality of some type. Most of us feel like stories are born from inspiration, but it is hard to find a way to be inspired.

We can find inspiration anywhere if we allow ourselves to see. There is inspiration everywhere. Listen. Look at the news. Talk to your friends and see what is going on in their lives. Everyone and everything around us is living a story. That bird sitting on the roof diligently tugging at a shingle? It came from somewhere that taught it shingles were to be had and even made into homes. What does that world look like? That boy laughing and twisting in his stroller seat? Why is his glee making his mother frown? What does that world look like?

Always be asking yourself the question: What does that world look like, because we are merely translators, dear writer. It is our job to show others these worlds we see in our heads and our minds eye. In order to do so we must be open to the experiences around us. We must allow ourselves the space and patience and even courage to see the lives unfolding in our shadow.

Behold!!!

So, it is time to figure out how these things are gonna play out. This is my pre-draft edition, so you cannot put a ton of stock in such things. I had a preseason version of this kind of thing for the 11u team I coach, and boy was I off! (we are presently headed for 5th overall and a dance with the 4th seed that already beat us once. If we win, we play the 1 seed and get abused. I thought we would go 3 or 7. Eventually I settled on 6 and that was also a fail).

The Giants have a year of the playbook under their belts and a better equipped squad to handle that offense and that defense especially. So, what does that mean? It means week I is going to matter mucho. I’m calling it Giants over Cowboys and we move to 1-0. The party continues into week 3, following a thumping of the Bills in the Battle for NY (only every few years do all 3 NY teams face off). We get a surprisingly tough Bucs squad but hold on to go 3-0. The Redskins game is about a team that is fully in rebuild mode and The Giants. We win that too! 4-0.

Reality arrives in week 5. Despite momentum and a clear understanding of what Minnesota can do, we cannot do much and are defeated. 4-1 quickly becomes 4-2, because the Patriots are still the freakin Patriots!

The Cards come to town soon after to restore our faith in ourselves. 5-2. Week 8 brings a very good Lions team and a tough loss for the G-men. 5-3.

10 minutes about done and we are halfway there!

I remain quite fond of the term/concept ‘Garbage in, garbage out‘ which argues that the input data you receive serves as the basis for what is being produced. When my partner mentioned that my recent work has felt very “CW” it became clear that this concept is quite real.

I am a fan of bad TV. It is not even bad TV to me. It is instead TV that is light and doesn’t require higher mind. It is often trope driven and simplistic in many ways. As a result much of the new writing I am producing falls into that same trope trap. This is where things become difficult. I don’t want to be a walking trope. I want to develop deeper narratives that veer away from the traditional characters and roles and offer us a reflection on what and who we are as a human society. However, I struggle with the reality that most people are driven headlong into lives defined by these tropes.

Think about it: We live in a world where the social influencers are largely shills for the biggest companies whose lives play out on varying scales of social media. On the largest scale you have the Kardashians and the Real Housewives of Lord Knows Where. On a smaller scale you have the Youtubers followed by the Instagram Models followed by the Snap Story mavens. More and more my kids are defining themselves by who they follow vs. who they want to be. I’ve heard enough about T-series v. PewdiePie conflict to fill a novel.

So, how does any of this pertain to what I write? Well, I am doing a bit of excuse making here by saying the world is powered by tropes and memes. I am allowing myself to write in that fashion because the masses are ‘about that life’. Still, I ought to be better than that and more true to the message I see and want to put out into the zeitgeist. That starts with reading and watching a better class of stuff. No more Black Summer-esque nonsense for me.

Well, maybe just smaller doses.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Trump’s America. It is hard not to in a state where MAGA bumper stickers are about as common as possible. This is also the state where the symbol below remains prevalent. I’ve included the symbol with the instructions and explanations that don’t normally appear on it here.

The sticker is another example of a dog whistle: a secret communication that is only meant to be seen by a particular group. This particular one means that if you have this sticker on your car we can pull your car over if we spot black people inside. It means that because black people did not use and were not given this sticker. MAGA hats are kind of the same thing.

Make America Great Again. What does that mean? Contextually it is a response to 8 years of presidency by a black man–8 years that the current POTUS is trying to dismantle policy by policy in spite of the overwhelming success and support for many of those policies. He was elected largely on two fronts. The first is open distaste for Clinton. The second is a fear/anger based response to the shifting demographics and power structure of our nation. Make America Great Again means make America a safe power structure for old white men and their children, so they can transfer power to their children as has been done for hundreds of years. However, that reality is no longer so certain. As with any group in power, that ‘base’ is going to hold on whether it is consciously or unconsciously.

Great Again precludes America having been great during the time that change was underway. This is in many ways the acceptance part of the argument that is so insidious. It allows us to believe that America is only great when led by people who look a certain way, which largely allows us to forgive how they act.

Even when how they act is unforgivable.

Netflix cannot stand folks doing a genre and them not having a cut. Moreover, they want a really big cut and they want to basically take over the entire operation. Only, they remain late to the party. Black Summer is a version of the Zombie shows we’ve been watching for years. However, it is a version of that show that loses all credibility by episode 4. If not for an incredible performance by Yuk Guen Lee, the show wouldn’t have been worth a single episode.

I think the conversation begins with Lee. An actor from Hong Kong, Lee has been around since the late 80’s as a child actor. She is responsible for carrying the show through multiple episodes where the writing fails to do more than anything we’ve already seen and succeeds in doing less in character development than I thought possible through 4 episodes. It was the 4th that killed the show (pun intended) for me.

The show exists in vignettes. Or at least it is supposed to. We fade to black every few minutes supposedly opening on another ‘beat’ in the script. The 4th episode is a perfect example of those beats leading us in circles. In that episode we follow a lone survivor (actually, one of the beats is called alone) as he flees a lone zombie. Now in this scene we realize the running man is a coward and a fool. 5 minutes in I’m waiting for him to die.

Spoiler Alert: He does not die. Instead we watch the silly running nonsense and him making every mistake in the world and being rewarded for it. We learn nothing about him and the entire episode (because it is the entire episode) is a waste. Even if he died, it would’ve been too much for too long.

Maybe that should be the name of the show: Too much for too long.

I’m writing this at 7 in the morning. I’ve been up for well over an hour (close to two) and in that time I’ve gained full consciousness, played several video games, and drank coffee. The order of those things is totally reversed, which is part of what I want to say today. What I was trying to say last night about the writer’s life is more about the importance of making time in your life for the words and not just fitting it in anywhere you can. I have been the key culprit when it comes to ‘fitting it into my life’. This is true for more than just the words (ask my partner). However, it all stems from the concept of the words. See, the way I’ve approached the words and the world is like this: Those things that are fundamental and comprise the bulk of your life will get handled, so screw around until you are left with no choice but to handle those things.

This is why I found myself writing 1k and blogging past 11pm last night. I tend to start with the least important of the tasks and work my way towards what matters. I don’t know why I do it, but there is no question that I do. I’m going to call it Writer’s RNA, as the message of lazy first seems to be communicated to my soul and spirit on a daily basis. No, this is not excuse making. I am merely keeping it real.

So, now what? Well, accepting that this is part of one’s nature leads to one of two conclusive directions. 1 or A) I stay aware of this fact and consider it in my planning of all aspects of my life, careful to combat these so-called ‘natural’ tendencies. 2 or B) I keep keeping on and remain exactly as effective in all things as I have been thus far.

B does not sound awful, because I have in fact done okay. Of course, if recent commercials are any indication, okay is not good enough. So, I gotta get with A. okay?

Some Thoughts:

1. The words went pretty darn well last night.

I’ve been at the 1k thing for a while now and have already missed a day. It hasn’t had the same forcefulness as the blog, but I must admit the transformative nature of 1k/day is really something. I am getting a lot of words out and I am being forced to write without thinking. I am being called upon to draw these stories out of the place they come from and, more importantly, connect back to that place long thought lost. I’m not all the way back yet. I haven’t gotten to the level I was at with my words when I was a young person riding busses with nothing by time and ideas. Still, I am getting to the level where I am generating ideas and writing and having fun with the craft.

Next month I will be presenting to a group of local writers on the art and craft and life of writing. While I know Ive said this very thing before, I will indeed speak of the impact of 1k/day. It doesn’t seem like a lot, especially if you have a story in your heart. Still, the consistency of the words is incredibly demanding. In fact, after I publish here I am off to write out 1k for today, and I have no idea what I am going to say.

The rhymes are entirely unintentional, in spite of the month at play.

Some Thoughts:

1. It might make sense to change my online handle to the misnomer ‘fastdps’ because that actually makes sense as opposed to the outmoded name I have been using since, well, college.
2. developing my understanding of the apple network, because I think I ought to know such things by now. Any competent Dad (yay, patriarchy) ought to be tech-rated.
3. All of this computer work has me looking into my musical past. I like it.

There’s a story floating around the internet about President Trump going to Mt. Vernon and making a total fool of himself. While most new services not in the conservosphere are touting the story as true, there is a report posted on the Ladies of Mt. Vernon site that reads in part, “Comments pulled from sources who were not present for the tour do not properly convey the tone and context in which they were delivered.” This is key to the argument. It does not deny the reports that XYZ happened, but argues that tone played a role. Of course, this is a smart move on their part, because tone can be argued. Text cannot. This is the lifeline of the defense of this American presidency. Those who care about the value of intelligence and knowledge (as those are not the same thing) may argue that Trump is simply ‘joking’ but in the serious moments he is a serious leader. Whereas public speaking Trump plays to the crowd and puts on a show the people love.

They can say that. They can say a number of things. They also say this, “His supporters don’t care, and if anything they enjoy the fact that the liberal snobs are upset” that he doesn’t know much history, this person said.  

That part is what truly frightens me, because the people who are in charge of our country are increasingly impressed with their own intelligence as it becomes astoundingly clear that they are, in fact, not intelligent people. The Herman Cain nomination is only the latest example of that. It all leads to an unfortunate conclusion: This is going to hurt America.

Trump is not the kind of person that recognizes what it means to fade away. As such it is increasingly likely he will buck and fight long into his second term to remain relevant. The central truth of all presidencies is that they are eclipsed late in their second term by whomever is running to succeed them. Do we really think Trump will go that quietly?

The Giants just gave Sterling Shepard $41 million dollars for a 4-year deal. With that cash drop the picture in NY is sharpening into focus. The Giants have now dumped a fair amount of cash on two slot-style receivers. That strategy only serves to indicate that the Giants indeed plan to run more 21 personnel groupings in the coming season, relying on 1 stretch TE alongside a pair of receivers that work primarily as underneath or slot guys on either side of the field (I slot left, etc.) with the TE running corners to abuse the OLB with his speed. What worries me is that they are going to need to use Tate or Shepard as an actual 1, because they don’t have that guy. Perhaps the goal is to get Shepard matched up on the top corner and use his (respectable but not game breaking) speed to loosen up the D to let Barkley work inside and underneath as well?

Another thought is that there is going to be a speed WR drafted this year to stretch the field as well. That or they pull in a Noah Fant or someone else early in the draft and go 12 personnel. So, yeah, maybe the picture really isn’t that clear at all yet. One thing is for certain: They’re paying Shepard in spite of a sophomore slump predicated by the absence of Beckham and the clear knowledge that he cannot be a feature WR in this league just yet. Hopefully he’s good enough to slip by the D when the real attention is on the other talent on the field