Day: July 17, 2022

Thought I quit, did you?

Nope.

I was actively avoiding being connected to the network for fear of distraction. I really needed to get some of my sections of writing done. I finished one section of the work I am doing and it feels very lovely. Now I have a few more days before the next deadline. I’m stoked and scared at the same time. Stoked because I can do this. The section is in many ways easier than others. Scared, because I cannot afford to miss more self-imposed deadlines. I am really putting myself against a wall here. Should I get more work (and given the impending academic semester) I don’t want to be in a position to be crunched and ineffective. Balancing your hours is perhaps the clearest definition between successful writers and those who don’t make it. I want to stay on the side of successful and keep getting better at that side of it.

I also want to play a lot of video games. And surf the web. And watch TV.

The balancing act is indeed precarious. How I operate is I allot time to academic work and time to writing. The rest of my time is on hold for my partner and our family. I work hard not to cut into that precious time. In fact, since I stopped coaching, that time has only grown and that has been a very good thing for the health of the relationship. I try to set aside time for games OR work games into the time I already have allotted for work (school or otherwise) and I definitely carve out an hour at the beginning of the day to warm myself with games. It is a working model, until I start playing too many games and eat up all my time. Sadly, that happens too. That is why I turned off the internet. That is how I got stuff done.

Some Thoughts:

1. I still use the word ‘some’ too much. I still use compound sentences too much. Being aware of your phrasing is important, but don’t be murdered by it. Revision knocks out the kinks. Write the way you sound and then revise for impact. Took me years to figure that out…

So, I didn’t post the blog from what I wrote in the library. I thought about it, and then did absolutely nothing. That is entirely the difference between being home and connected to the internet and being out in the city and doing my thing. When I’m out on the go, I don’t get to or think terribly much about the posting. The upside is, I lose quite a few of the distractions that define my writing situation.

I’ve been trying to get my writing situation right while out here and simultaneously come to a mindset of how to write anywhere by preserving the time and space for writing regardless of location. It is a work in progress, but this is the important work that separates writers from people who write.

I know who I want to be in that conversation.

Some Thoughts:

1. Watching some fellas throw the ball around on the pier and thinking about the difference between guys who play for fun an guys who play. That difference is writ largest at the QB position where amateurs throw the ball up and the guys who know throw it at an angle that is lower and with more zip to get it to where it needs to be before the defense can close. 4 seconds of air time for a 15 yd throw is junk.

I’ve blogged a lot over the past few months about how hard it is for me personally to write with other stuff going on. This is not limited to things happening around me that I want to check in on (like video games and kids) but also emotional matters—trouble in relationship land, health issues, writing space itself. All of this finds me at the Seattle Public Library’s Downtown branch on a Thursday trying to piece together an extraordinarily tough writing assignment. The work is hard because I am close to it and want to do it ‘right’ vs. do it the required way. It is tough because I bury myself in minutiae, which gets me wanting to escape, which leads to me playing even more video games and working less.

Which leads me back to the library…

…and the steady hum of a yellow-sided escalator climbing endlessly to a part of the library I’ve never been before. I could go. I could also write. Writing is obviously best, but as this blog indicates, procrastination and stalling are what I am most inclined to do.

So, let us spend these last five minutes talking about why we stall when we should write. The answer is a spectrum that basically comes down to We are Bored – We are Scared. It is rarely entirely one. I personally float more towards the center, with an emphasis on focusing on the why instead of focusing on the how to step off the spectrum.

How do we get off the spectrum? Honestly, the work that bores you is about having to do the tough parts or having to do work you don’t like in order to do work you do. The work that scares you is about missing deadlines or digging into thoughts and feelings you are not comfortable with sharing or perhaps even accessing.

In all of these cases the answer is: Just Do It. Find a corner where you can be away from your distractions and get the work done. There really is no other way. Which leads me back to the library…

…and away from this blog.