Ever wonder why at these draft events and what not it is always mothers and girlfriends that are the focus of attention. It is as though the father never existed or remained just out of frame of focus for these individuals. It is as though the contributions these men made, in the case where there was a father, is ignored or deleted. I think there is something to that. I believe that fathers are treated a certain way–especially post divorce whereas the responsibility of a father is made to be purely financial and, quite often, negativized at every possible step. I say this as a father and as a defacto step dad who is absolutely taken for granted and treated without much or, at times, any respect in spite of the contributions (recognized or otherwise). All of this leads me to feel pretty beat up and left to wonder if any of it is worth it. I look at the other side of the equation where I have kids who have a birth dad who maintains contact and inputs into their lives on his own schedule and it is just fine. He’s not loosing sleep over it, and they seem perfectly fine with the arrangement. The question is why do we (do I) do any of this? Why do I care to be a good father in spite of the costs to time, energy, relationships? Am I even a good father and does any of that actually matter to anyone outside of myself?
Bottom line: I am failing to desensitize to being treated like crap and taken advantage of, and I don’t really have a sense of what steps to take to cure the underlying condition.