I get the feeling I’ve lost a little something as of late. It is that feeling that pitchers get when they can’t get that fastball quite over the 99 MPH mark or when a boxer isn’t feeling the urgency to jump back in the ring. I make a ton of sports metaphors because of my own history and connection to athletics, but the point I am making is that I don’t have it right now. I need a break from this day to day. I need to not be here and not be experiencing this sameness that wears on me so. It is made worse by the realization that it might just be like this for the rest of my life.
I need a moment to digest all of that. I also need a moment to think about how it won’t be. That entirely involves my writing moving to the next level and me getting picked up mainstream. I don’t exactly write for money, but I need to make more money writing in order to have the time and space to live the way I feel like I need to in order to be a more productive writer. This day to day really isn’t it. I’ve found ways to work through and or around it, but I can tell that it catches up to me more and more and my escape hatches provide fewer moments of escape.