I’ve been thinking a bunch about my teaching–specifically about the longstanding issues I’ve had with running a 16 week class. I lose the thread in parts, and I think I good deal of that has to do with planning and how I plan it. I talk about planning the class in 4 week chunks, but haven’t. I talk about doing a lot of things differently, but in the end my work hours go to semi-last minute prep, grading, and making sure I am doing enough beyond the classroom to justify that I receive a salary. If I was an adjunct it would be purely about the in-classroom work, but the expectation of faculty is that you do more. I love the idea of that, but I need to get right in the classroom. No, my classes don’t suck. They also don’t live up to my personal expectations.
I’ve found that a great deal of my life on a daily basis does not live up to my personal expectations. Some of that is due the the conditions and people around me, but if I have learned anything from years of first being in then being a counselor, I’ve learned that I have to accept the things I cannot change and maintain focus on the factors within my control. For example, my current schedule argues that I must produce 1 chapter every two days. Yet, the first thing I did upon waking up was to drink coffee and play Apex Legends. I have a problem. It is one I recognize, but a problem nevertheless.
Some Thoughts:
- This is random, but going back to an old thought about ASMR. I feel like the issue for me is innocence and intention. The best stuff is either accidental or utterly innocent–meaning without any adjustment towards sexualizing the content visually or in the way of speaking. My problem is that I prefer listening to female voices to relax and the majority of those are licentious. I’m not here for it. I’m left to seek out the rare ones that are not or the handful of really good male voices. Oddly enough the majority of those male voices are foreign. Bob Ross remains the GOAT.