Last night the blog got pushed to the end of the night. Again tonight it is moving past 7pm and, with a head weary of work, I write.
This is not the path I want to choose or continue down, but here I am. It tends to get like this at the start of a new semester, largely because I don’t plan for all of the factors. I know what classes I could be teaching and I should be preparing for them, but it is often in those last days that I actually sit down and prep. Why? Because I enjoy free time. I especially enjoy it with my lady.
I had an odd conversation with two of my older boys where they acted like I had as much time as they did each day and it was simply about how I chose to use that time. I get their perspective–that of 20 year olds who don’t have hardly any responsibility. It has to feel like you have all the time in the world if you’re them. However, being 25+ years older and (i’m just gonna say it) wisened by those years, I understand that there is time you must allocate to taking care of the things that 20 yr olds of this generation don’t think about. They don’t wake up in the morning and clean up the house. They don’t do the daily maintenance items to keep the place from falling into disarray. We do. They don’t work full time jobs and have to task hours to that. So when they talk about choice allocation of time, these things, and the interstitial hours they create, are not factored in. They just see what they see and call it reality.
I must sound bitter, but it is actually a sadness. I’m not mad at their freedom. As I argued at the time, I’m a bit jealous I didn’t do more with mine when I was at that age. I did exactly what they were doing (albeit for far fewer years) and enjoyed the hell out of it. I am glad they had the chance to do just that.
The reality train is pulling into the station for all of us. It is time to work. Time to go back to school. Time to prepare for success in our next endeavor. For me, that is having good classes, and writing this next project… and the one after that, and the novel to come after that. The year ends in a few months. I want to know I did all I could in this one. Tomorrow, it starts.