The toughest thing about being a writer is being able to hear criticism and not let it cripple you. For instance, I learned in a recent workshop that I use he/she far too much. He/She is indicative of telling vs. showing. By the very nature of “they did this” I am literally telling the reader what happened. My immediate reaction to this revelation was, “Well, I don’t know how else to describe!” I do know how else to describe. I’ve seen it. Done it. I know what needs to change in order to make these pronouns fade into the background of a story.
In the moment it felt like I was powerless. It felt like I was shit at writing.
There is this moment of helplessness one experiences when you’ve done the job and failed at it. Avoiding this experience is a large reason why I spent years turning in first drafts. Fire and Forget. This meant I didn’t have to feel helpless or feel as though I could do more. I gave it my all on that first go. If it didn’t take, it didn’t take. This is juvenile thinking… that I did through my 30s. And partially into my 40s.
It ties into a larger philosophy of what you do and how capable you are of doing and doing more. On my sidescreen there is a Cyberpunk 2077 comic book turned to the middle pages. Cyberpunk 2077 is a vibe. The more I examine it, the more I want to write a development plan for a Shadowrun comic and a Shadowrun video game. I want to use my knowledge (hell, I teach this stuff) in order to develop things that could reach people in different ways. What does that have to do with anything? By understanding I can get better I understand that I can do more.
My power isn’t capped. I just need to unlock the next level.
What I intend to do this summer is to build around that idea. I spent a lot of years locked in on one thing. There is an opportunity here to grow. There is an opportunity to be and do more. No, I won’t be good at a lot of it right away–maybe never. However, I am not afraid of that. I need to be afraid of never trying in the first place.
Criticism can cripple. It can make you afraid to try. It can also unclog your sense of what is good. It can unlock you from your conceived notions of perfection and allow you to finally be better.