Being back I thought I would slide right into a healthy state side routine loaded with activities. I thought I would jump right back in and be able to quickly move through the small mountain of clean up duties and, quite quickly, be able to get down into a routine. I was giving myself a week to be right. I’m going to need more time, because Day 1 was horrible.
I’m struggling so much right now with the kid thing. They have an entirely separate life with their mom and hotse routines, and I accept that. What sucks is that mine feels like more and more of a drop in situation. It is supposed to–in my hope–model an adult relationship. I am still learning how to build those and to have to also be doing it with a 17 yr old kid who is finding more guidance from church than from the home is tough for me. I’m losing the bond with him and it is making me feel terrible for the both of us moving forward.
Beyond that I am just flat out struggling. under 2.5 miles of movement today. That is nowhere close to being useful movement. I need a lot more if I am going to be able to stay driven and stay alive. It is tough in the heat. I could easily blame the chores of the day, but for whatever reason the chores weren’t the thing that got away from me–the day itself did. Suddenly it’s after 9pm and we’ve done very little of what was planned to be done. I sold the bag today in that respect. I have no clue where all the time went. I need to figure this out moving forward, because today cannot be the model. I mean, sure, we spent time enjoying a kid’s bday, but that wasn’t 10 hours.
Obviously, I didn’t get to the freewrite. I will need to try again and try harder tomorrow.
Some Thoughts:
- No headlines. Not this time…