I have a lot of time to think about things in my life. I don’t live such a complicated or busy life as I often exclaim. How else would I be able to spend hours watching football on a weekend or even more hours walking through the trees every single day of the summer. When these things are not possible; when the Lady Talis is off working or spending time by herself or with our kids and I am not playing video games or writing, I am thinking. I am reflecting and reviewing. Often I am laboring over choices good and bad and wondering about the multitude of universes where other choices were made and projecting such things forward. I am thinking about people, and places, and events. I am asking myself about the what if and, more importantly, the why.
I do all this in pursuit of understanding. I wish it were to become a better person, but at least it is to become a more understanding person and to create, in my mind, a path forward both in writing characters and understanding people in my life. I do not have many people in my life–especially not those of my own age. I have my brother who limped across the 50 line here recently. I have a handful of dudes I used to hang with locally and a co-worker or two I still might. I have a quite insular existence beyond this. As I age, I find myself wondering about the connections I’ve made and missed and how many more chances I get or even want to build relationships. I don’t need outside relationships beyond what I already have, but as a person who lives for new stories, it is hard to find new ideas and inputs when there are no new people; no new context.
I think this may be the core reason for my travel. I have always been a human explorer. Travel is the means, especially as of late, by which I manage to explore.
Some Thoughts:
- I took a break from the bonkers again, because reality, at least that which I understand, is starting to fray and the gaslighting is so magnificently out of control that I cannot bear to even write it out. There will be a post sooner than later… it will be a doozy.