Yellow cones lined the road to work. Spaced evenly apart they created a guiderail between the road I usually traveled and the one road workers meant to put me upon. At one point the cones parted to reveal a gap and a choice. I could stay the course or turn, taking my chances on a new path. From the comfort of my car I chose to remain upon the beaten path. When I finally reached my class I found that I’d stepped away from my tried and true path entirely.
I deal with student confrontation exactly as I dealt with client confrontation as a counselor. ‘What I’m hearing is’ and ‘How does that make you feel’ leap to my lips as readily as ‘hello’ or ‘have a nice day’. These language conventions insulate me from student rage as much as they help me stem my own tension from the behaviors I fail to fully comprehend. I hold on to them like a mantra until I don’t.
What did it was the derisive laughter.
We were talking about a film the students were creating as part of an integrated assignment between two separate courses. This particular student was not interested in working on the project at all, deeming to put it off until the due date. This annoyed her team and led to my, and my co-teacher’s intervention. That’s when it went bad. I pointed out that these films were supposed to be socially conscious and point to a heightened awareness of the social conditions under which we survive. I then reminded them that, in that context, a bullying film where the only black kid in the film is the bully could be seen as negative reinforcement. She laughed at the idea. Then she laughed at the idea of stereotyping, claiming we could then only cast the big white guy as a bully because that would not be stereotypical. I challenged that statement, claiming that too would be a stereotype and suggested that she be the bully. She laughed again and remarked that I might be over thinking stereotypes, because they don’t mean anything.
To suggest that playing into traditional stereotypes doesn’t matter—especially in a context where the media being created and studied is done so in a sociological context—is not only asinine but also dangerous. For a student to look me in the eyes and say, “Maybe you’re over thinking this.” Ignores a hundred years of history that someone from an insulated suburban Phoenix background would never need to consider if they had no intention of visiting that small strip of reality outside of the 480 the rest of us call modern civilization. I don’t forgive her stupidity, but I understand it. For her, creating a scenario about bullying where the larger black dude goes after the timid Caucasian-looking student isn’t a big deal. Why would it be? For all the access to understanding that some people have, it takes a willingness to work at being better and to hear some things that may surprise, frighten, and even dismay you in order to improve. Often it takes facing discrimination as the result of dangerous stereotypes in order to recognize their value. Clearly she doesn’t have the growth needed to get it. Or maybe its like I said before: Maybe she doesn’t have to care.
I should’ve and could’ve let it pass and been the guy who accepts there will be ignorance in the world that I can do nothing about. I didn’t do that. I didn’t stay the course and continue teaching as normal. I stopped and made it a big deal. To me, it was.
Some Thoughts:
- Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are not great friends. They are great competitors and that is evident in the body language between the two in the post-game handshake. It’s just a handshake, but little things are deeply telling.
- Following a last-minute loss by the Giants to the Cowboys I must accept that Tony Romo is clutch. He beat a defense that abused him for the better part of the afternoon, and he did it knowing his post-season hopes hung on every throw. I can fault the Giants D a little (Thomas was playing soft zone in front of the TE in the endzone, which, considering the Safety help, wasn’t the best idea. He bit on a pump fake to no one and gave up a TD), but this was All-Day-Romo.
- Seriously, I’m not staring at your boobs. I’ve become hyper aware of this phenomenon. The majority of time I look at a woman they immediately adjust their top to conceal cleavage. I’m making eye contact for peete’s sake. Perhaps it is because I’m taller and naturally looking down. No matter the reason, the assumption is generally false. I mean I’m still a man and sometimes a man looks, but I am also a gentleman who respects women enough not to drool over their cleavage.
- Some people are terribly good at what they do with their lives. Some people clearly are not. Sadly, the ones who aren’t so good at their chosen lives are often the ones you can’t say a thing to.