I take heart in Andrew Bernstein’s assertion that, “The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances.” Over the past few decades I’ve come around to understanding a few things. Often I fail to apply these basic truths to my life. At this point I’m at least aware of my failures and able to recognize them in myself and in others. Slowly, I’m correcting the little things and putting myself in position to have a better life than I’ve have–a fulfilled life. Part of that journey is sharing these sometimes meaningful and sometimes damn funny lessons. So, here we go.
Lesson 1: Kids smell weakness and will seek to exploit it
Like Santa, kids know everything going on in your reality. Any time you are feeling run down, tired, angry, etc. They will take it upon themselves to torture you until the point where murdering them or the more common murder/suicide seems like a viable solution. Here’s how that plays out:
Son: Dad, you look like you need a nap.
Dad: How thoughtful of you, son.
Son: Yeah, well, I need you to stay awake and help me not be bored…
Lesson 2: People who care about themselves too much view you as an accessory
This isn’t an intentional thing all the time. We can each get wrapped up in our own stuff. However, there are signs. If the person never asks you about your life, they A) don’t care about your life, B) don’t care to have a conversation about your life, C) don’t care to have a conversation at all unless it is about their stuff. You ought to recognize that this is akin to a genetic deficiency. There is no way you can genuinely change such a person, because any interaction would then be false. Better to just accept it or move on.
Lesson 3: Some people have nothing but work and those are the ones you don’t want to mess with.
I’d kill for my kids. I’m not just talking about slaying roaches and the rogue mosquito either. Some people don’t have kids, or cats, or dogs, or even a gerbil. They have their job, and in a real way that job becomes the focal point of all that biological energy normally attributed towards familial connection. These are the people who become mired in the work and are unable to adapt when the work environment changed in any meaningful way. I’ve clashed with these types in the past and realized early on that there is no way to lead them to reason short of employing the same tactic angry parents or ISIS terrorist seek to employ.
Lesson 4: Some stereotypes are real
Guys like football and beer. I’m not much for the beer but the social aspect of it appeals to me. Women like clothing and conversation. That’s just real.