Turns out I have a lot of things to sort out. On the surface this is a basic organizational deformity, but on a deeper level it is about letting things pile up and then having to find the strength to dig out from under them. I’ve been playing with the idea of calling that habit Quicksand. Now that I’m in a state of mind to really see the big picture and how I’ve set up my life and habits I am aware of certain patterns.
If you look around my home there are pockets of stuff. A great deal of this stuff is useless and kept around as an example of things that were going to happen or were amazing for a half-second before realization of the time commitment kicked in. What made me the most cognizant of this whole situation was the moment I noticed a pile of legos that belong to my mid-kid. We’re talking legos from Christmas that he hungered to put together, put down, and never touched again. These things are in plain site–if you bother to look outside of the normal walking paths. In fact the boy walks by them often on a daily basis. He doesn’t bother to pick them up and finish the job. I’m afraid he might get that from me.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not the way I live my life in general, but I do tend to start more projects than is reasonable for a human and dump the detritus of what won’t get done into a pile somewhere so that I don’t get mired in the quicksand of too many tasks. The problem is that there is a whole lot of quicksand now.
This blog often becomes a catharsis–a way to make sense of the jumble of information squatting in my head; an exorcism for all of the guilt, angst, rage, and glee tumbling around in there like a clothing in a dryer (mental note: do laundry). So this post is a way for me to share and maybe take a deeper look at the realization. I need to get better at getting things done.
Some Thoughts:
- Some nights I have things to say. Some nights not. Writing is like that.
- I don’t know how much longer I care to carry on this historical fact of the night business. Last night wasn’t the end game, because I have something minor to share about 1863. It was the year in the American Civil War that the Confederate States officially adopted the confederate flag. I bring this up because although the ‘real’ flag now flies in all the states, many of the south have continued the tradition of the other flag. I grew up with the confederate flag in the most subversive way. I watched the Dukes of Hazard and cheered the so-called ‘national flag’ every time the General Lee (also subversive) hopped over a pile of dirt and soared skyward to escape the cops.