1872. On the dangerous slope of a good night’s sleep

Let me start by saying that I’m not against sleep. This is a perfectly good mode of living for many people. Cats like sleep. Dogs as well, and their enjoyment seems to stretch into a lifestyle as they age. Still, humans don’t quite need as much of it as many would have you believe. I mean, why sleep so darn much? I’ve read that human adults need anywhere between 6-9 hours of nightly sleep. I haven’t seen six hours since the oughts. Part of that has to do with having children. I’m certain there is a biological imperative coded somewhere that says once you hit a certain familial size your sleep need decreases in proportion with additional family members. In that theory the 19 and counting family just stays awake all the time. I mean, maybe. They never sleep on the show.

Then there’s the issue of sleeping hazards. I would sleepwalk as a kid, awaking to find myself on elevators and what not–sometimes even actively willing myself back to a restful state hoping I’d reawaken in a much better situation (I mean, what if the elevator got stuck and I woke up trapped in an elevator. I’d promptly lose my shit). There’s the matter of sleep paralysis. One can wake up with a total inability to move. At all… That’s a terrible situation to wind up in.

In the end I think it is best to limit one’s sleep to a manageable REM allowance. This means anywhere between 160 – 220 minutes. In other words, people can technically get what they need in under three hours. I’ve gone a few days averaging two hours of rest and I’m not dead yet.

Of course this could all be the ravings of a man who doesn’t and hasn’t slept a great deal in a great while, so there’s that.

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