Inevitably all parenting winds up pushing children towards or away from what you value in life. This is often intentional, though the effects of said action are often unintentional and unpredictable. I guided my children towards sports and video games. My clearest young memories of my first born are of him curled up on my chest as I played Madden and him, 3 now, squatting on a soccer field picking grass as the ball rolled by. Nine years later he’s dressed in team colors cutting and weaving through a gang of flag pullers, smirking all the way. At rest he is parked on the couch, iphone 7 in his lap and controller in his hand. These are activities he learned by watching me (insert PSA). These aren’t necessarily good or bad; that isn’t the point of this reflection. No, I’m talking about awareness of action and how those actions, activities, and especially attitudes take root in our children.
You cannot feel strongly about something–especially something relevant and constant–and not expect it to have an effect on those around you. The PSA above (in full form) provides a simple, inelegant example of the transitive property of parenting. Another example is that of a lazy parent (read: me) who engages in a great deal of gaming and general lounging. If this behavior is seen as leading to rewards (i.e. having fun, being happy all the dang time) then this behavior might suggest that the way to said rewards is to engage in this behavior or that engaging in this behavior has no relevant consequences. In a way it is about the children not knowing the whole story and taking from it what they will.
We as parents have limited control over how children receive the information given. The context they apply is not always the context we wish to emote. This is part of the reason why motion picture ratings exist. This is also why punching a hole through a wall or screaming at your kids and merely making that behavior normalized leads to consequences.
This has been my version of a PSA.