I’m back in that space where I may step away from coaching. The problem is twofold: I love coaching and I have difficulty watching my kids play and being totally uninvolved. I don’t believe I am ready for that yet. At the same time there is a level of politics involved in coaching that I am also not prepared to partake in. To make a long story short, I’m standing outside the doorway of a youth football organization that is being built, and I can clearly see that my opinion is unwanted by those in charge of construction. Be it from lack of trust, faith, or no real value attached to my name, I am on the outside of this thing looking in and unhappy already with the direction things are going.
What makes me most unhappy is the lack of inclusiveness–specifically when it comes to me. I feel like I’ve contributed a lot to the team in terms of time and effort and even website. Still, no seat. The last football organization I was a part of found me in the same position where I was on the outside and not a single entity on the inside appeared to take value in my contribution–or even possible contribution. It is as if I need to prove to people that I can contribute and when I do, they attribute those contributions I’ve made to other people.
Story of my life so far.
It is no secret that I’ve been battling depression as of late. Turns out stuff like this is helping. Well, helping in a way, because that depression is slowly shifting into anger and spite.