It is entirely possible that I am halfway or even 2/3rds of the way done with my time being alive. This is a tragedy but also a revelation. I may have burned through most of my life already. I may be in a kind of twilight and as such I need to accomplish as much as I can in the time I have left.
This urgency is born of simulation. I’ve been playing these games where entire lives are simulated. I noticed that in the games I tend to take the life paths I feel I should have, as if to resolve in my mind that I made a mistake as opposed to finding the bright in what is happening now.
In truth all life is chance and opportunity. My life has been grand so far and I’ve done so much. Still I have much left to do.
Some Thoughts:
- Watching the film of the flag game I am remiss to admit that I have lost more form than speed. In other words, my strides are awfully tight. I still have good fast twitch, but I’m not able to extend and stride. This is a problem my kids–especially the first born–have a tendency to fall into, which leads me to believe they are getting it from me.
- I also realize that the kids enjoy and thus need to see me doing more of the things I love. More writing. More spending time with my partner. More physical stuff. In addition, actually playing games with them on their terms. By that I mean playing a little more CoD and Fortnite vs. hiding out in the magical land of Minecraft listening to audiobooks and digging holes.
- Crazily, the semester is almost over. This is a good thing, because I need a real reset.