The hardest thing about this particular kids sports season has been not diving in. I’m a deep diver. I appreciate the chance to really get to the nitty gritty of the teaching and strategy of a sport. I’ve been more of a dabbler coach this season. I go to one practice a week and defer to all of the other coaches. On the surface it sounds like I am sad and disappointed by this, but I am not. In fact, I consider this a version of balance and compromise. I am also keenly aware that what I recognize as compromise and balance does not compute as such to anyone but me and as a result more must be done.
Much more.
Still, it is a very difficult sea change to adjust to overall and I find the lack of a deep dive–a complete and utter submersion in the sports and lives of my kids–to be different and jarring. Still, I want to make this change. It seems like I don’t but I do. I want balance. I want to still have times when I am coaching and times when I am not. I still want to have times when I am focused on my kids and times when I am not. I want to get to a point financially where they make a smaller footprint on my budget for certain.
I am making these changes for many reasons. The primary reason is to create a life beyond children where me and my partner are first and foremost in our lives–even if it clearly isn’t that way now. Also to create a life for myself where I feel like I have a homebase and a homeplan and everything stems from that.