I get these emails from Chris Barnard, a trainer and (owner?) of Overtime Atheletes. He has a lot to say about a lot, and occasionally his words hit me in a personal way. Today he wrote about a football player named Ronald Ollie who lost his job recently. He wrote, “…But him getting cut made me think about how all people (athletes, businessmen, moms) have a comfort zone. And when they get too far out of that comfort zone, they sometimes sabotage themselves. In Ronald Ollie’s case, he achieved a level of success that was uncomfortable for him… In turn, He stopped working, Let a small injury get in the way of him participating in training camp, And as a result, he got the boot.”
That right there defines my football career. In a more meaningful way, that defines my life. I have troubles with the spotlight, though it feels as though I actively seek it. Once I get to a level of discomfort with my success I stop working–be it football or writing or even relationships. It is in a sense a fear of doing well of having it all and having to watch it all be taken from me. As a result I tend to snatch it from myself. I’m my own soup nazi. I will not effort to go into the details of how to fix this malady, because I don’t have clear or precise instructions. What I will say is that awareness is part of the game. Knowing the problem helps to solve it.
Some Thoughts:
- Back on routine of writing in the morning. I’m getting better at sliding into a routine reflective of the work situation. In the summer I don’t have a lot I am responsible for on a day to day basis and that makes me incredibly lazy. When I have a lot going on it forces me to plan my time appropriately.
- As I wait for power to be run to my Shed/writing lair I continue to plan and design the lair. It is going to be the highpoint of coolness, but in the meanwhile it is just hot. So, I am searching for a temporary solar solution to some of these issues. Perhaps a solar fan or some such thing to drop the temp down from the 111-120 I’ve been dealing with. Those are not indoor working conditions.