When I first entered University I had my heart set on being an aerospace engineer. Never mind the near prolific number of educators and law enforcement professionals fruiting from the family tree. I wanted to build shit that flew very fast and fly in that very fast shit that I built. It was a dream formed whole from cloth; the imagination of a 7 year old boy simulating space landings in his bathtub after school as he waited for his parents to come home. I wanted it quite badly. Then I didn’t. The cold rush of math that greeted me at the entrance to university turned me off like a switch.
Eventually I forgot all about the idea of aerospace. I forgot about the basic concepts of it. This is why when my fan stopped moving air I was entirely confused and then, in a flash I wasn’t. Drag. As dust accumulated on the edge of the blades, drawn there by the static electricity made as the blades slice through the air, the angular momentum suffers as a result of increased weight and drag vs. a fixed level of rotational velocity. In other words, the more the dust settles, the less the fan is able to do what it is supposed to do. This is a messy and less than accurate scientific explanation of the process, but the general idea is thus: A fan works in a system it is calibrated to work in. It doesn’t work so well when an outside force damages that calibration.
I consider this a metaphor of how my life has functioned over the past while. I have done very poorly by those around me. Turns out I’m quite shit at relationships. I’m not particularly good at the friend version of relationships or the family version either. My best estimation is that the world is best served by me being constantly isolated and away from people less I wind up hurting them with my irresponsibility and self-serving attitude.
Some Thoughts:
- Enjoying having more unstructured time and time with the lady on Tuesdays. Unfortunately, I don’t do a thing good with that time.