I failed at football. I failed despite being given every possible opportunity to succeed.
I can boil it all down to a moment. No, not the injury, which wasn’t hardly anything in comparison to major tears and ruptures. It was that moment I first showed up. That opening day of practice and the starting QB gave me a lift back to my dorm. That moment when I had every opportunity in the world to look forward to and I just didn’t give everything I had to grab that opportunity. I didn’t have but one friend on the team, but that moment that I got a ride home said, hey, I notice you. There might be potential. I should’ve worked harder to reach that potential and not let him and everyone else down. But I did let him and everyone else down. Now nobody remembers my name and I am basically a forgotten piece of that early 90’s failure. Eventually the walk-on was walked off and the story ended. I failed because I didn’t try hard enough. I didn’t sacrifice to get what I wanted. This is the story of my life.
What am I willing to give up to get what I want?
Rarely have I had an answer to or even had to answer that question. I’ve led a blessed life for the most part. Of course, I’ve been through a lot of crap, but that darkness is outweighed by fortune and light. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for being lucky. Even now, with all of the heart stuff going on, I am grateful for what I have and have had along the way. Still, I’ve never truly answered the question: What am I willing to give up to get what I want?
I think it is the question everyone needs to answer in their life. Especially in my own. This semester is another series of very huge opportunities as a teacher, but the opportunities as a writer are proving to be elusive. The sequel to my novel is not yet secured. I thought I had it in the bag, but I have not been persistent. I also have not been sacrificing enough of my daily time to being a writer. So, that is where this all needs to start.