10 Minute Rule

Ohio State was robbed.

listen, I am not a fan of Clemson or ‘the’ Ohio State . I prefer Clemson, but here’s the thing: Ohio State was robbed. There were multiple terrible calls that impacted the score. No less than 14 points were directly taken off the board by the refs. I’ve struggled through this kind of issues in youth games and that is frustrating but at my level it is meaningless. At the college playoffs level it is unforgivable.

I enjoyed watching the game. The spectacle of college football is as exciting and often more exciting than the pro game. This weekend’s slate of games wouldn’t be worth watching if not for fantasy. In reality the teams fighting for something either or jockeying for position or (in the case of the NFC East) don’t deserve to be there at all.

Such is the football life.

As the new year hurtles towards us (though, time being a relative thing, it cannot be clear if it is actually moving towards or away from us or even moving at all) I am beginning to think about all of my plans and responsibilities for the coming year. There is debt to surely be paid. There is writing to surely be done. There is fun to surely be had. All of this is promised in the coming year. Great and glorious change and growth is to happen.

None of that gets done without a plan.

So, here in this relaxing lull between a mountainous workload I am beginning to turn my eyes towards planning. What needs to happen when in order to make my universe less chaotic? How much do I want to accomplish? What are my goals?

I feel like once people get a chance to catch their breath we naturally turn our attention to such things. This could be part of why New Year’s resolutions are such a big deal–at least in this country. I don’t know much about other nations. I’ve been to but one other. Changing that is also high up on the docket.

As is getting better sleep. Better eating too. I’ve already been addressing the latter, but the former is equally necessary, as I find myself in what appears to be a steadily declining state of health–one that can be slowed by a change in habits.

And stress.

Which brings me to the number one change coming. I’ve got to manage my stress levels a lot better. That means developing the lab (a space where I can work), managing my time with my kids better, and not taking on so much. Most importantly (and most overlooked) it means going to the gym and finding ways to exercise on non gym days, so I can get my body back in shape to handle the stress (of life) I am required to endure.

New year is coming. ready up.

I’m not really good at video games anymore. It is synonymous with the way I’ve felt about writing as of late. I used to be pretty good. One day I looked up and everyone else was better and I was just confused and slow. This can be attributed to a number of things—first and foremost being dedication.

I am not as committed to the game as I was in the past. To quote a scene from a movie I often quote, I’m ‘not about that life’ though this raises the question: what life am I about? No idea. Maybe age has weathered me. Maybe success (however limiting and menial) has weathered me. Maybe I just have lost the ability to focus due to over compartmentalizations. Lots of maybes and one clear result. I’m just not that good anymore.

In some ways I’ve lost the competitive fire. Again, it could be age but it could just be that it doesn’t mean as much anymore. Why? Likely because I have too much going on. I’ve long believed in the Batman method. You drop out of society, go grind in a cave Or a lab somewhere and come back as the baddest dude in the game. I have lost quite the bit of grindheart over the years and I need to discover why.

yesterday while I was cleaning the house (yes, on Xmas day) I stumbled across books i used to fall into—-I used to read to train for about everything and I noticed that I don’t anymore. It falls back to that idea of dedication and time. What do I want to spend it on and am I all in? I can’t say that I am anymore.

if you’re wondering if we are still talking about video games… maybe.

I am doing this by phone, because I lack the energy to stand let alone search out a laptop. I am drained by Xmas. While the day was wonderful it was also demanding. I have been up since 4am and making merry since at least five. It is worth it by far, but it takes a toll. Tomorrow I will sleep in as long as my body and spirit allow and then move forward towards this new year.

My partner noted that there is a certain sadness that accompanies Christmas’ end. I tried to downplay it but the fact is she’s right. The holiday is over and now it is on towards the new year. There is a lot to be done before that year arrives. Thankfully there is also a ton of time off that allows me the possibility of resetting my spirit for what is to come. I am happy and wiser then before. The health is a question mark, but I am firmly in the mindset of fighting this thing and being a better me for me, my partner, and my family.

Xmas has me drained and as I type these words I reflect on all the happiness I am blessed to receive. It is truly a wonderful life.

some thoughts:

1. Fantasy football championship starts this Saturday and I am left to wonder who is actually going to take the field…
2. speaking of football, I find it interesting that the Cardinals hire so many local athletes. Lots of Phoenix kids on that team.
3. thats about it for me… clock is about done and so am I.
4. 
   

Okay, for reals this time:

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the place
The smiles of merry was on everyone’s face.

They knew, though no Santa, there would be great cheer.
We all knew that xmas was a day to revere.

We knew, for example that presents would come.
There would be games and all kinds of fun.

There would be interesting times
Even better rhymes…

Okay. I basically ruined this one. I had a really good xmas eve, but the power of rhyme didn’t strike me this year. I am feeling more and more like this family is in fact a family. I miss my boys and I want more and more times where we are all together. We need more of that. We will get some of that tomorrow.

Merry Xmas to all, and to all a good night.

Twas the day before the day before xmas and all through the house
Stuff was not handled, leaving me to feel like a louse.

Well maybe not that bad, but still sort of sad
To be a bit off of Christmas could make one mad.

The holiday cheer has settled all around
In the early morning the frost sits light on the ground.

This has been quite different for me this xmas year,
It feels like a new family is finally here.

We are all together and feel like as one
We’ve become a family in love and in fun.

This isn’t the first year that we’ve all been together
Though it is the first time it feels like forever.

So, I made a short rhyme in commemoration
Of the moment this group becomes Talislegger Nation.

So from this day forward I’ll mark it as such
Talislegger Nation, hope that’s not too much.

Some Thoughts:

1. Silly, but fun. I wanted to kick things off with a new tradition. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

This is a good year and it is leading into another. I’ve had a good year with my partner and a good year personally in terms of growth and progress in my career. Production is low, but that is a story for the coming year. I expect to be better. No, this is not the resolutions blog. That comes later. Still I am thinking about change and growth and all of those things that makes each holiday season special. Just last year I was scrambling to figure out how to pose the Elf on the Shelf and worrying over if my kid was too old to believe in such things (answer: yes, though I wanted to believe in Santa till I was 10). Now I’m doing a makeover for the boys that reflects how much older they’ve gotten and approaches those needs in a way that looks good and creates a sense of cool about their space.

Most importantly, I am thinking about my future with my partner and falling into the idea of the things we can do beyond just taking care of our swath of children.

It is a good year and I am happy and grateful for it. Even the negative that befalls me serves as a reminder of the things that matter and what makes them matter. That is really the story of Xmas for me–having time with family to just ‘be’

Some Thoughts:

1. Moving to the championship for Fantasy. There were 8 and now there are 2. There can be only one.
2. Still have gifts to wrap. Geez…

Tis the weekend before Christmas. That has a different meaning for people with shared custody. Christmas is largely about family and it is a hard situation to know that a chunk of yours is separated from you for a lot of it. I don’t see my kids again until the day of, and then halfway through that day. So we spent the day enjoying a little pre-xmas cheer.

Some Thoughts:

1. Yeah, they wore me out.
2. So, we played a little home laser tag and ran around quite a bit.
3. We also gorged on video games for hours.
4. It is a good life to have when you can get it, but I also realize that it is temporary. They are, after all, the holidays.

I spent my car rides this day listening to Ted Talks. They all seemed to swirl around the theme of identity and storytelling, which is what I try to focus on in my 101 classes. It felt like kismet. It put me in a mind to better consider what those classes may look like in the coming semester. I’ve long wanted to build these classes as a way for students to explore their own voices and gain a better understanding of what they are trying to say as individuals. This has not always worked out. The class feels like it starts with a strong theme but flounders after a bit and is oft reduced to students mimicking what they think I want to hear. What I want to hear is them tell their story and do so in a self aware fashion.

I’m looking into the possibility of having them open with a great deal more of reflective writing and working towards argument slower. It is more of a find your center approach to writing than I’ve done in the past.

The end goal is to help them to be able to really listen to the world around them–to tune in vs. tune out and see how that world is impacting or even creating their own story.

Some Thoughts:

1. Lots of heat treatments on the back these past seven days. I’ve been doing HIIT training and I think the steps and the back muscle exercises really pushed my back too far. I need to strengthen, but I cannot do it too fast.
2. My new schedule has yet to account for daily physical activity. It needs to be a part of my life. A big part.
3. Meanwhile I’m taking the meds to get right and I do not know if they are working.

We now know that there will be future Star Wars trilogies. These will not be Skywalker stories, for that legacy and possibly bloodline ends here. This is not to say that anyone not already dead (fictionally or otherwise) will die in the film. It is to say that they want to do other stories and tell other angles of the world. I believe in this idea. I believe less in the ability of a Disney Company to hire the right people to carry it off. Still, I don’t see anyone inviting me to Skywalker Ranch to pitch, but if they did I would have a lot of ideas to offer them.

I believe the Star Wars universe is filled with untapped potential. There are tons of what ifs, tons of criminal organizations and governments making power plays. There are many who roam the universe wielding the power of the force, and there is a great likelihood that multiple orders of force wielders (black, white, and even gray) will rise in the wake of this trilogy.

I imagine a story in this world built around the old concepts of Knights and Samurai–particularly Ronin, giving us young jedi thrust into conflicts where their untapped potential can turn the tide. I see baronies and space wars. I see potential endless.

What I do not see is a plan. Marvel/Disney has a plan (albeit a bad one) and they have a series of films building towards a conflict deserving of a new Avengers film. They don’t have an Iron Man reboot scheduled. They will let the world move forward. Star Wars claims the same, but there is not a lot of cool rushing in to fill the void. Everything is referential of what was, and that is a scary place to be.