10 Minute Rule

Tonight i sat through a blackout playing cards by candlelight with family and enjoying the moments and reflecting on how much we have become dependent on technology. I’m a slave of sorts to this medium. I don’t know how to act if the blog goes down. I write on some other piece of tech and wait to add the words to this forum. This is how we live now—in total dependence on our modernities to the point where we treat living without them as a hobby activity. Camping, once a way of life, is little more than a chance to disconnect if only partially.

I thought about that tonight and I thought about the lengths parents go to in order to create opportunities for their kids. I believe I do everything I can to give my kids a good life —sometimes at the cost of my own comfort. I know I spend far more cash on each of them than I do on myself. I don’t know if this is a good thing. I do know that I’m the first one they call when things go awry, and usually the only one who answers. I spent time on the phone today trying to help one of mine be able to claim an opportunity that was offered. It requires the other parent to go above and beyond. It isn’t happening. Hardly ever does. In truth I’ve grown so accustomed to it that when that parent manages to step up and do the basic I’m actually surprised that it happened.

I wasn’t surprised today. I was saddened to see my kid hurt and disappointment filling his heart, but it is a lesson he will carry. I carried it myself for years.

Rough day on the planet, emotionally. I wasn’t very good to the woman I love and I didn’t have the best thoughts about people—even family—I encountered throughout the day. Stress has been wearing on me and contributing to a growing negativity I am struggling to understand.

In short, I’ve been a mean and defensive person as of late. As out of character as that seems I am starting to wonder if that is in fact my true (or at least new) character. Some of this meanness is unintentional. Often I’m saying and doing things or entertaining thoughts that aren’t directly formed out of anger yet are reflective of a lack of understanding or dissatisfaction or disappointment in how the world is unfurling around me.

I don’t know where this unhappiness is rising from. I suspect it is directly tied to my stress and self dissatisfaction and disappointment. I missed a writing deadline, I’m behind on school stuff, I’m unhappy and off balance in terms of scheduling. In short I don’t know what to expect tomorrow, because I don’t know what I need to get done or how.

It is not a good week and the people around me are suffering on account of it.

I’ve been struggling bringing my latest draft to closure. I had all of yesterday to work and wasn’t able to hit a good stride for several hours. So far today the situation has been exactly the same. I think I need to acclimate to the space or at least to have the space in the condition that helps the words come easier.

I know, it seems really bourgeoise.

It is. I feel like it could be an excuse to avoid working hard or quite simply about not being deeply submerged in the story. It takes me a while to get submerged and when I come up for air or switch locations or often both, it takes time to get back down in the thick of the writing and to a point where I am deeply enjoying what I am doing. I am no longer the kind of writer who can hop in and out of story quickly or the type of writer who is good with constant distraction.

I don’t do a lot. I am first and foremost a thinker. I create, collaborate, influence, mitigate, and propagate the world with dangerous ideas. I move thoughts from the imaginary to the imagined. This in of itself is a useful skill. However, it would be of more use if I didn’t just come up with ideas but saw them through to their fruition. I should have named the blog that.

I should name a company that: Fruition.

I fear what separates people who have great thoughts and people who do things is a fundamental ability or understanding of how to put thought into action. All too often I see ideas I’ve generated and shelved come to fruition through the hard work of another’s hands. I have no animosity towards those people. Often I don’t even know them and we both wound up with the same ideas, but if I had focused on seeing mine through to the end then I might be the one in position to feel the joy of seeing it done.

This is not a blog about being lazy. Certainly there is an element of that in this argument, but it is not the argument itself. I need a team who works together to move an idea to reality or at least to contribute my ideas to a think tank where I can become a stronger thinker, gain more focused ideas, and make enough money to feel secure in my daily life.

Some Thoughts:

1. Still learning how to grind; how to make the best and get the most out of the work that I do. Once I figure it out I’ll share it with all of you. There’s gotta be a sequence to such things.

Dear Media,

Please stop tying the success of the upcoming Captain Marvel debacle to the future of female-led action and super hero films. It is a false connection that lives in the Tyler Perry-esque argument of, “we only know we made it if our shitty films still break records.” This upcoming Marvel film looks B.A.D. I’m talking Justice League bad, and you know dang well people only saw that movie out of respect for Wonder Woman, to gawk gleefully at Aquaman, and to have grounds upon which to trash talk the film. It sucked. Captain Marvel will suck. I am still debating whether or not I am going to see it in the theater. Why? Out of respect for the MCU and for the hopes of a handful of really good Samuel L. Jackson moments. I have no interest in the tired origin story of a robotic Bree Larson. In fact, I find the retcon personally offensive.

Fact: Comic Book Captain Marvel was whipped so badly by Rogue that she lost her powers permanently and memory for nearly a decade. She was never tier 1. She will never outshine Thor in my book, let alone the freaking Hulk, so my bias is clear. This is not a man vs. woman thing. In truth, I’d prefer they unleash Scarlet Witch (far more powerful in canon, and a much better actress) vs. letting this poorly CGI’d nightmare take center stage for the future of the MCU.

We are deep into a market correction of female driven action narratives. Gone are the days when Ripley stood alone. We know a woman can run this. Last night I was treated to a preview screening on Alita: Battle Angel and I can tell you it is everything Captain Marvel won’t be. In fact, it should not be in the same conversation. Only, it is in the same conversation because we are still operating in stereotypes and divisions and lazily drawn classifications. There is no reason that the perceptions of future success of female action narratives should rely on the success of Captain Marvel. Heck, if you want to play that game then rest your fate on Alita. In fact, that question should’ve already been decided with the wild success of Wonder Woman, the coming (and already obvious) success of WW1984, and the aforementioned fact that people actually showed up for Justice League.

Captain Marvel is a failure before it hits the screen, and that is on the actors and the writers and the director. It is not ‘on’ the possibilities of women leads succeeding at the box office, so stop trying to act like it is just to excuse and prop up a crap movie.

There is a car in front of my house. It is a white hatchback that sits way too low on the ground with rims that stick out past the edge of the wheel rubber. It is clean to the point of obsession and on the front glass the word, “Philthy” is written in a permanent white script. Mark Twain is is credited for writing, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.” I often feel that real people are often unbelievable because they feel impossible in one way or another while fictional characters, even the ones with super powers, tend to feel more grounded in a reality I understand.

When I write characters I build them from a conglomeration of the people around me. This is a safety mechanism to create a thing that is actually realistic. When I develop characters without the thought of a living human, these characters tend to represent the better part of my ideals. They are sensitive, thoughtful creatures who, in the face of overwhelming evidence, will point their minds towards fact. Real people do not behave like this. Real people come pre-loaded with cognitive bias and their delicate mental lattices point them towards cognitive ease. It is under these precise conditions that a person, thick with belief in God and the tenets of the bible, can look at Trump and call him a proper follower of the righteous path of God and then, in that same breath, side-eye Obama and declare him a sinner.

Real people do not make sense, which is why they make interesting but difficult characters. In a story the reader generally tries to make sense of or identify with at least one character in the story. In my experience this is usually the protagonist. So, at least one character in the story ought to be inhuman. In other words, at least one character needs to make sense, because the rest of us absolutely don’t.

That car in front of my house belongs to the boy a few bedrooms down. He isn’t my boy but he might be legally related to me one day. Maybe his youth is him time to not make sense. I’ll forgive him that. However, if he doesn’t figure out a way to move closer to reality eventually there could be a problem between me, him, and the law that has nothing to do with kinship.

When I read the news online inevitably that news includes six or seven ‘tweets’ from random people I don’t know who are somehow included as valuable sources. We live in a world where social media defines truth and voracity. In that world Trump says whatever he wants and it hits our eyes long before anyone bothers to vet the language for accuracy.

Trump is a liar. This is not an attack on the man but merely a statement of fact. He practices in open hyperbole and appears to believe or at least promotes the belief that he is the best ever at everything and we live in the worst time for everything that comes across his face. Consider his arguments about North Korea. If Trump is to be believed, we were on the brink of war with North Korea before he took office. However, there is no evidence of such that he has presented. I would argue that Trump himself fanned the flames of Korean conflict by insulting and threatening the regime. Once the problem was ramped up to what he felt was the brink of war (and had us thinking maybe we are going back in there) he went to meet with their fearless leader and had a sit down. Trump made it seem like he talked us down from the brink of war but in reality we are in the same place we were before he took office.

We were sold a lie.

We were also sold a debt. Even as recently as this SOTU address he maintained the lie that China is paying us billions each month in tariffs. He says this again and again, but this is not true. The tariffs are paid by the American companies who deal with China and thus will eventually be paid by the American consumers.

This is the biggest lie and threat of Trump. In the end the people who support him the most are the ones threatened and hurt by him and don’t even see it. His assault on farmers has hurt farmers tremendously, but they don’t see it because the government is subsidizing their losses. It is welfare for a set of people who feel that welfare is one of the worst things you can do to your country. Trump makes America Worst Again, and the horror is that none of the people who matter are willing to acknowledge it.

I’ll dispense with the formal introduction. If you found your way here you know who I am and know what this is. I want to start the argument with a quick recap of Trump’s position prior to the speech and likely late tonight or in the morning once he realizes this speech did not go well. Trump is severely partisan but not to the republican party. He is about the people he believes believe in him. It is his party now and the vocality in the party is reflective of the crowds he draws for these speeches. Trump is a talker — a snake oil salesman– and he has an audience that he knows how to work. So, he is going to work his base.

On to the speech:

Trump led with the argument that he is speaking to the agenda of the American people. However, when Trump speaks of the ‘American people’ he is speaking of that previously mentioned base. He is not talking to me. He is not talking to the people who grew up in the inner city or the people who came over the border to find a better life. He is speaking to the rich and the white. He is speaking to his people, but the people who are listening think they are or can become his people or him and they cannot.

He goes on to state, “we must reject the politics of revenge, resistance and retribution, and embrace the boundless potential of cooperation, compromise, and the common good.” but he forgets to mention his own vindictive nature and the fact that, above all else, he is one vindictive son of a bitch who cares more about being seen and loved than anything else in his world.

He continues to tout achievements begun in the previous administration that are now either coasting or slowing–military strength, economy, unemployment. He doesn’t mention the deficit growth, which we know has worsened under his Reagan-esque policies.

Okay. Ten minutes isn’t enough for this. I’ll be back tomorrow.

Not a lot to report this evening. I believe it is best to simply fast forward to…

Some Thoughts:

1. 13-3 Super Bowl. Media was a bit pissed about it, but I liked it. The game reminded me of a solid soccer match. Excellent defense throughout and big chances for points. Brady was not good. Edelman was very good. I see the decline in Brady. I don’t know that he can go a full 19 game season any longer. The team ought to think about spelling him with a backup some games. They won’t, of course, but it is the best option. It is also the option I’d love to see the Giants take this season should they bring in a rookie QB. Media will make it very tough for that to happen once the QB hype train embarks.
2. Anime is a way of life in both of my households. I enjoy it, but not nearly as much as the kids do. I’m into cop drama lately–the fun comedy/dramedy kind. I will say that Bleach is low key softcore porn. Easily Maxim/Chive level. No wonder boys like it.
3. Trump makes his state of the Union tomorrow night. I will be offering the ten minute Talis rebuttal.
4. Big NBA trades supposedly about to drop by Thursday. I say nothing impactful happens between now and then.
5. Back to the Anime–I’m finishing One Punch. Very funny.
6. That’s about all I can swing time and brain energy for…

I’m not going to blog about the Super Bowl. Not tonight. Instead the sound you hear is the thud of the latest captain marvel trailer smacking heavily into futility. Hear me: This is not an important movie. Captain Marvel is being retconned as the world’s most powerful Avenger and it is the latest in a series of painful MCU retcons that simply do not work.

This film is being sold as Marvel finally standing up and having a powerful female lead. Well, that is a bloody insult to all of the existing kick ass women of the MCU. Take Guardians of the Galaxy for example. Gamora is absolutely the powerhouse there and the conflict between her and her sister guides a great deal of what we appreciate about the series. I can say the same for any number of women in the MCU without limiting myself to the big screen. Captain Marvel simply isn’t good, so stop trying to sell her as powerful and important and meaningful or as a moment for women on screen. She is none of that. She’s a shameless cash grab retconned to lead the next wave of MCU.

Why am I so averse to this film? It feels poorly constructed. Captain Marvel MCU borrows heavily from the comic adventures (including the fantastic four stuff that we won’t get into) and from the Agents of Shield lore. However it does so in a way that makes the movie about her journey to remember her true self as though it is an origin story in reverse. This could be interesting if not for the fact that every scene makes her look like an emotionless robot. We already have a robot Avenger and he has emotions. He also has a partner that is way more powerful, btw.