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Well into the morning I found my way back to the blog. I spent most of the day cleaning and sorting out the remains of my colored past. I think we Americans have garages because we aren’t sure how to unpack our mental baggage. Instead of trying we keep mementos of the past to serve as touchstones to power a memory or emotion. I don’t want to carry those with me. I want to move forward and enjoy every moment in my present life. The past is what it was and I cannot change that. There is little value in reliving it.

So where is my today? I’m learning to forgive and forget. The poet Myrlin Hepworth says we communicate primarily to give love or receive love. He goes on to say the opposite of love is hate–the want of love. Last week a friend and faculty member stabbed me in the back. It hurt like hell and took me days to get past. I’m over it. I will not trust them again, but I do forgive them. Fool me once, shame on you. I refuse to be fooled again. I also refuse to let it affect how I feel about where I work.

That statement right there is emotional growth. Life is far too short to be held back by a thirsty quest for vengeance. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Every time my middle kid plays sports or interacts with kids when I am around, he becomes a hopeless prick. However, if I am not around and he is interacting, playing, etc, he is an angel sent down from the heavens. I have to believe the controlling factor in this situation is me. He chooses to act out when I am around, but I have no idea why. This is the difficult parenting moment I suppose all parents face. Do I focus on disciplining the behavior out of him, or do I provide basic discipline and seek to understand the root of the issue?

I recognize the need to discipline unacceptable behavior. I also believe the behaviors children exhibit come as a result of imitation or as a way to express what words fail to do. I want to know why he acts like a prick around us parents and like a doll when with others. There has to be something there, Boundaries perhaps?

I haven’t slept since hours before the last post. My wife insists I become mentally impaired when going without sleep. Now I’m watching Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds and wondering what to write about. I won’t cover Iron Man III until after I see it a second time. I feel the structure of a trilogy deserves a post all its own. I will say the film was surprising and inventive without loosing any of Iron Man’s special charm.

In fact, that is all I’ll say on anything tonight. Fresh start tomorrow.

I started playing Minecraft a few weeks ago and realized that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Here’s what I knew: I can build amazing things, and–crap a monster got me! Once I understood the game more and recognized what amazing constructions could be forged, I started seeing Minecraft as a teaching tool. I realized that minecraft is about being rewarded for hard work–and occasionally slaying beasts.

This morning I set about building a massive underwater city. This sort of thing happens in phases, so I am starting the first phase of the process by creating a staging area and trying to understand how to build an airlock. I am learning about the physics of the game and working towards a self directed goal. Likewise, I am showing my kids how to set their own goals and develop a plan to get there. We are learning important life tools and learning how to be rewarded for their hard work all through playing a simple block-based video game. The next step will be to transfer that knowledge to a real life experience. We will take that step this summer when we build a playhouse together.

Recently the Syfy network concluded a massive marketing campaign with the simultaneous release of their new series, Defiance and the companion multi-platform game. If you look at the show from a pure story/plot perspective, Defiance isn’t very good. However, modern television and movies are not about the purity of the tale, or else The Big Lebowski would be the best film of the last few decades. No, Defiance makes its fans the way everyone else does, through the smoke and mirrors of CG, a modicum of powerful acting, and a relationship that demands the viewer’s attention.

 

Defiance looks good. This is not the Saturday afternoon computer graphics of Earthquake! or any number of other made for Syfy films. The digital effects are precise and largely believable, belying a budget dedicated to such things. This should come as no surprise from the network that dedicated an hour-long series to creature effects. Less inventive is the lore behind the effects. Defiance tells the tale of a future Earth that is invaded by a multitude of races in what appears to be a Noah’s ark-esque tale. Through yet undivulged means, the humans fought back as one (or more) of these races was in the process of terraforming the planet. The space ships crashed to the planet and the races are now forced to live in harmony. This all took place in the time it took for a pre-teen to grow into middle age. This thin plot device leaves the audience flat and largely uninspired. Still, when you look at the individual races, the cool factor keeps you glued to the screen.

 

Thus far the best acting and best relationships stem from a small cadre of actors central to the storyline. There is a madame, vaguely reminiscent of the ‘companion’ role from firefly, a bounty hunter/tracker/ex-soldier turned Sheriff, also vaguely reminiscent of the lead from firefly. Finally, there is his adopted daughter, a girl from a violent and outcast race—a girl who suffered as a child and was rescued by this soldier made sheriff. Therein lies the story. The rest of the plot feels silly and put on, but the one genuine thing about this series is the emerging father-daughter relationship, and the struggle these two have to survive in this crazy, mixed up world.

Watch Defiance. Enjoy the CG. Stay for the father-daughter conflict. Don’t expect the story to last terribly long, because there isn’t much of a story being told. However, watching this relationship play out just might be worth the time.

 

I’m tired of coaching. It isn’t the act of coaching–I love the kids and the fun and the excitement. I am tired of being responsible. It happens, people. Once in a while you get to the point where you just want to let go and be absolved of responsibility. Part of the beauty of my job is that I get a month out of the year to do that. Once the season ends and the school year ends I intend to dive headlong into novel work, forgetting any idea of responsibility. I am fully aware it wont last forever, but the minutes I have are so valuable to me that it makes everything else worthwhile.

So, what does a writer do with the free time?

Movies, lesson planning, and a whole bunch of plotting. I have a major novel in the works that I needed to put on hold towards the end of 2012, and this gives me a chance to revisit and update that project. It also lets me take a step back and evaluate a great deal of what I want to accomplish in 2013 and 2014 as a writer. Every successful writer sets goals. I have not done that since 2010, and I believe it is fundamental to shaping your writing career. You can’t know where you are going unless you map it out.

The fun begins Thursday night with Iron Man III, and from there it is off to write!

I remain convinced that more people are driven by the acquisition of stuff than emotional (and perhaps even spiritual) growth. I’ve fallen into this trap a few times myself. In American parlance we cal it ‘trying to keep up with the Jones” but in reality it is a reflection of wanting things as a surrogate for growth and happiness. I believe it is socialized into us and wanting things (as a reflection of status and goal attainment) becomes a focus of our lives. Sadly, that focus often does not correspond with the goal of emotional and spiritual growth.

I want stuff as an expression of goals, and perhaps moreso as a way to put others at ease or even impress. I’ve always wanted to have the space people want to be in because it reflects on me as a person and someone individuals want to spend time with. Part of that is the classic, ‘I want people to like me’ stuff that we all go through. More of it is the media influencing me as to what a proper home needs.

I ought to give this a closer look in the future, but for now my 10 minutes are up.

Hovering around 206 lbs I realize weight loss is going to take more than the cessation of sugars from my diet. I changed the way I eat and the result is a 10 lb net loss. Unfortunately, I still remain 20 lbs from my ultimate goal. As with last year, my mental energy is coalescing towards doing something more athletic with myself. On the other hand, I skipped football this morning. I sat in the garage considering the short trip to the field and finally balked at the idea. I don’t know why. In retrospect I should have ridden my bike to the game, bumping pump-up beats the entire way. There are ways to increase your athletic output, but you need to want to do it. I often don’t want to get off the couch and get my butt in gear. Still, I can see shaping up the garage to create a cool work out space rigged with sound and monitors, so I can bump as I burn off this belly fat.

On the other hand, all these desired affectations could be just that–a distraction to create a workspace I never use. My office is that way, and it currently sits a forgotten mess. Real desire would lead me to work as my sib-in-laws do (though I personally avoid the distinction between in-law and otherwise–having no known otherwise) with whatever is available and as hard as I can.

I know that death is down the road, but I don’t work out to prelong life. When driven to exercise, the pilot is desire to perform and desire to maintain or even improve quality of life. The problem is, life is pretty good from the couch. The trick is deciding that life is better off the couch.

Kajrun Kombz of Facebook wrote, “Why do so many guys care what happens to Sanchez? Sounds like a nationwide man-crush.” The man couldn’t be more right with his analysis. We love to watch drama unfold, mostly because it serves as an excellent distraction to our own lives. We also like to watch drama unfold because of what drama means. Drama tells us that there is something at stake for the characters involved. When something is at stake or at risk, we recognize that there is a possibility for failure and even disaster. Who doesn’t love a good disaster?

Mark Sanchez is a sex-free Jodi Arias. We know that he is on trial for wrongs committed against the New York Jets fanbase. His supporter, Rex Ryan, is gonna go down with the ship. They brought in a media-fresh name, Tebow, to rile things up and we watched every minute. This is classic TV, but it isn’t meaningful or even slightly relevant.

Meanwhile, we’ve forgotten about North Korea in the face of our own bombing, just like we forgot about Syria in the face of North Korea. The media is a pusher, shoving something new, interesting, and maybe even marginally relevant in our face in hopes we get hooked and come back for more.

It is working. After all, I watched the draft.

I think it is important to be a part of your community. I’ve lived in my small town for nearly a decade and I am only now beginning to form lasting friendships. Tonight I went out with one of those families from the ‘hood and had a fabulous time. The reality is this sort of thing doesn’t naturally happen for a lot of Phoenix folk. Though we don’t have the density of New York, there are enough people here that it is impossible to go very long without seeing your neighbors. Failing to acknowledge that and them strikes me as a wasted opportunity.

Every conversation with someone new is an opportunity to find someone who can enhance your life. I truly believe that and live by that principle, which is why it is so odd that I hadn’t done this before.

But, I’m rambling…

Some Thoughts:

1. Finished principle work on every major deadline project in the queue. This means that I can relax enough to formalize a writing schedule that is more purposeful and less frantic. I loved the experience of writing so much in such a short time. Now I feel like I can do more with my writing. What a great growth opportunity!

2. Sounds like opportunity is the word of the day. Perhaps Geno Smith will get an opportunity for the Jets–especially if they cut Sanchez. Oh please cut him. PLEASE.