Month: July 2013

The most frightening thing for many writers is the blank page. The more I say this in class, the more writers disagree with me, until, that is, they are asked to go back to their stories after receiving concrete criticism. Once doubt enters your mind, the blank page becomes a jungle, a hellscape, a terrible enemy to face down in the dark. The only way to beat back the demon is to face it head on. The only way to conquer the blank page is to write down everything that is presently in your mind and force your mind to reach for more. When you run out of words to write you have two choices: Quit or go find some more inspiration to fill it. You’d be surprised how many writers choose to quit.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Florida ought to consider a new motto. Perhaps something like, Florida: The Only Thing More Plentiful Than Our Cockroaches Are The Number Of Unarmed Black Folks Shot Per Year.
2. Baseball is a statistically amazing game. I’m looking forward to seeing my middle kid getting back into it.
3. I’m looking forward to watching all three race up and down the pitch every saturday for soccer.
4. Most of all, I’m looking forward to them going back to school and me getting back to some serious writing. Them stories are a brewin.
5. I’ll blog about the whole Up situation soon, but short form: Up works. I love it and it helps me to recognize where my weaknesses are and how to focus to correct them.

A friend from college is putting together a blog on the value of writing spaces. It made me think about the work I did to paint the creativity (accent) wall and the value of that as well as my space. Just the indication he’d be writing a post reminded me that my work is not done yet. In fact, I need to seriously sweeten the pot in there in order to make that place into my sanctuary. Writers need a retreat. We need a place that belongs to us and houses the mania that would otherwise reside in our heads. We need a place that inspires and separates us from the real world by connecting us to a world that is utterly and completely enchanting.

I suppose where I failed in my space creation (and thusly as a writer) is by staying within the lines in my creations. Kurt Vonnegut said, “You cannot be a good writer of serious fiction if you are not depressed.” I am not depressed, and given that I am not the depressive type, writing serious fiction requires a space that invokes all styles and levels of emotion.

Some Thoughts:

1. The Wolverine is filled with terribly written characters and acting more suited to Sunday mornings on Disney XD. Still, I enjoyed the heck out of it. I especially appreciated the bit after the credits.
2. Vince Vaughn is done. His brief and reputable moment in the spotlight was enjoyable, but he isn’t the type to be able to lead a movie–especially a stupid one.

Not a whole lot left in the tank tonight. I am trying my darndest to just stay awake and hack out the last few keystrokes. A lot of stuff going on this week and it serves as the perfect reamp up to the start of the school year. I’d be more excited, but I’m too tired.

Taylor Swift is hot. At least she’s supposed to be. The current qualifications for that distinction are tall and blonde. Ample breasts are desired but not required. When I ask students what is beauty they tend to fall upon the sword of literature, taking up fanciful and often philosophical verse in order to exclaim how much someone who just makes them laugh is what they want. The guys are especially false, claiming how much they care about personality. It is all script, written long ago by people who didn’t even possess formal language. These customs and rituals are ancient. We laud a physical ideal amongst our own gender but in mixed company strive to maintain a sense of being above all that.

I’m not really above all that. I think Taylor Swift is a unappealing beanpole who had a good album once upon a time before L’oreal got a hold of her. American beauty at least is a product arms race. You are beautiful so long as you wear the right clothes, makeup, and shoes. So long as you get the proper haircut and do all of the rituals you must to your teeth and skin, anyone can have beauty. Natural beauty has been reduced to actually owning the breasts you were born with.

I applaud Dove (once again) for trying to swim against the tide. I frown at Wendy’s (once again) for diving headlong into the water and hiding a woman who is actually pretty (though for all I know that could also be product inspired pretty) only to replace her with a skinnier more ‘universally appealing’ version of herself.

Outer beauty is an important thing in the world. I’d just like to know what it actually is for people before the media tells them what it is.

What would you do if you only had five days with your kids; if on the sixth day their lives changed in a way that made their focus less about spending time with you and more about education and all of its trappings. I want to live these last days in a way that carves memories into their minds. I want the mantra of school year 2013-14 to be, “remember that time when we… I wonder what we’re going to do next break.”

So, what would you do? What are good memories made of? Is it simple time with family? Is it adventure? Is it holding hands as we go into the theater, reaching out your hand for the popcorn discount card and striding up to the register to buy something all by yourself? Is it bowling? Is it splashing around in the pool and seeing who can hold their breath the longest? Maybe it is the big things–wondering at the majesty of sea life, the sharp turns of a go cart edging towards the finish line, Legoland. I suppose it is different for each kid; each age. Making all three happy seems an impossibility.

So what can I do? I can give them my hours. I can segment a time of day where it is about me and the work I need to get done and allocate the rest to the children. I can listen. I can ask them what makes them happy and find a way to get as close to that as possible. It is what I should do. At least, that’s what the manual said.

Well, its out.

The Shadowrun Returns game dropped today alongside the SRR Anthology. I’ve seen the reviews on the game, which are positive, and I am holding my breath for the story reviews. Honestly, I can do better. I felt I delivered two good stories, but I feel my best work is still ahead of me. In the meanwhile I’ve been playing the game, reminiscing about the original, and building up a sense of wonder about the creative process. Wonder is key to everything creative. Cynics are rarely creators. When you live so much of your life doubting, you find little time to wonder. From the looks of it, the reviewers are largely creators and are raving about the ability to build on the JW’s platform.

The SR Returns game consists of a main game and an editor that allows you to create your own missions, goals, and dialogue trees. The modability of the thing is tantamount to its success. There will always be runners and there will always be GM’s who want to express their creativity in-game. I’m excited to live on both sides of that line.

Now, where are the fiction reviews?!

Trainers hate him.

Or so starts most of the weight loss ads stashed in the corners of our favorite pages. The ad is accompanied by a pick of an extra-ripped individual who looks like he either fluffed before the photo, or is photoshopped. A combination of the two is possible, but becoming just like him shouldn’t be. It isn’t really, unless you learn this One weird trick. 

One weird trick is an internet meme, a vehicle really, that carries the idea that there is a shortcut to physical health; that you can do one simple and probably quick thing and become as fit as anyone you see on TV. You can do this without trainers, supplements, or anything save for the simple bit of advice found by clicking on the ad and spending whatever amount is suggested at the destination sight. One weird trick is the internet version of snake oil liniment, a catch-all name for fake our suspect health products meant to be curari for all that ails you.

These products are mostly fakes and the tip or trick is always a fraud. This tip found off the Bleacher Report suggests, nitric oxide will be your curari. Vernon Davis provides a quote, while a skinny blonde provides a voice over to remind you that this will provide you with pounds and pounds of sexy muscle. Ironically, she suggests that you don’t need to by a bunch of pills from a pharmacy while selling a pill herself.

Here’s one weird trick–If you want a better body then get up off the couch and work for it. When you reach the point that it gets to be too difficult and your mind tells you to quit, stop thinking about quitting and do five more reps of whatever you were about the quit. Perseverance is the key to getting in shape. Perseverance, good eating, and maybe a little Deer Antler Spray.

It is clear that I’ve been working through some frustrations lately. Summer puts me in a 3 on 1 setting with my kids with no relief in sight. This wouldn’t be as bad if the kids weren’t cooped up. I plan to change that tomorrow with mandatory two-a-days. The other frustrations center around a lack of working tech (including an iPad shattered yesterday), and an inability to get on a creative roll. I think that more than anything else I am in need of some me time–away from the daily hustle. I need a day or two to retreat from the familiar and refamiliarize myself with the amazing landscape of my creative subconscious.

If only that opportunity would present itself…

Inspired by the recent Comicon, a re-watching of a handful of hero movies, and the announcement of an upcoming Superman/Batman live-action movie, and even the Zimmerman vigilante verdict, I started wondering how to the world would react to full on superheroes roaming the streets. I’m not talking about Superman–it is clear that a man with super human powers–or an alien–would be immediately treated as a threat to everyone’s national security. How about a Batman or an Iron Man?

The key component in this is the acceptance that an individual can, of their own free will, go out and fight crime in a way that employs either extreme fear or use of non-lethal technologies and not be subject to legal action by the victims of such attacks. In the film The Incredibles, the entire hero structure was brought down because a hero saved a man from a suicide attempt and was sued by the person trying to commit suicide. That opened the door to a wealth of suits and complaints centered around the idea of responsibility. In the Batman cartoon criminals and victim advocacy groups were going after the Bat because  they believed his vigilante justice infringed on their rights as individuals–even if they were in the act of a crime. They criminalized the avenger while ignoring the criminals based on the fact there was no trial or utter proof of guilt.

We are not in that time. Instead we live in an age where the burden of proof gives way to media opinion. We crucified Zimmerman and Hernandez and even the suspected Boston Bomber without proof. Do we know they are guilty? It sure feels like we do. Zimmerman, by the letter of the law of the crime he was charged with was not guilty. Hernandez sure looks guilty, but would we be okay with a Batman-esque super hero swooping down out of the night, beating him senseless, and dropping him off for the cops? I think I’d be okay with that.

The ACLU would have a cow. I don’t know if we would react to Supers the way they did in Kick Ass, but I surely hope I can see it unfold in my lifetime. I already have my Super name picked out. No, I can’t tell you. That’s the point of a secret identity.

Some Thoughts:

1. I dreamed of death last night. I woke up in the afterlife on a near empty train with a few children who met their end too soon. We pulled into a station where I saw another packed train headed in the opposite direction. I can’t say if I just knew or some unseen force informed me that the other train was headed to oblivion, where the souls would be wiped of all memory and get a fresh start. I opted to stay on my train and headed off to a strange sort of afterlife. I woke soon after. 

There is a microfilament line between anger and disappointment. Quite a bit of my summer parenting time is spent being angry. On occasion that anger creeps past that barrier into the darker realm of disappointment. In the month of July my middle son has lost a Kindle and shattered an Ipad. He’s cried and complained about what he considers to be over harsh punishment, but what am I supposed to expect from a newly minted six year old (3 months at 6 yrs)? What I get is a terrible amount of heartache and broken stuff. What I get is a mountain of self doubt and questions such as, am I raising another Dahmer? What is a parent supposed to do with difficult children?

There is no legitimate manual for parenting–I know because I’ve read quite a few. All they ever remind you of is how each child and each environment is different. Perhaps the one great tip they all do offer is that kids learn from watching parents and siblings. They do as we do, which is why my boys are gamers, athletes, and lazy. They are also blissfully unaware of the behind-the-scenes drama and trauma that goes into giving them a better life than what I had. Sometimes I think it is a good thing, and sometimes I wonder aloud if my kids are better served by struggling the way I did as a kid and not having access to computers, Ipads, video games, etc.

The question boils down to two key components for me: WIthout the trappings of technology, will my kids be at an advantage in a technological disadvantage? WIth the tech, will they fail to develop the creativity and good working habits of kids who are left to no other devices than hard work?

 

Well, that’s enough writing for now. The two kids who aren’t grounded are outside shooting  hoops and I want to join in.