Month: July 2013

Even now at 11:28 on a Saturday Night I realize that productive level is waxing. I’m heading towards a level of productivity that shatter adequacy and pulls me out of the summer-long slump I’ve been in. The production thus far has manifested around the house–Yardwork, Painting rooms, designing a study space for the kids. The whole thing is about finding a space that is most conducive for work while maintaining a baseline level of joy within my life to be the person I hope I am.

Of course, it is terribly late and the amount of production spilling out of me has fallen to a trickle. Late night posts rarely offer much.

Call it a new segment.

I’ve been trying to build my sociological pseudo-thesis (not in a grad program, but I just want to write) about the social forces all around us–namely the commercials I work so fervently to convince my kids to fast forward through. In this segment I want to take the time to call out a few key commercials, highlighting the supposed demographic and why these commercials are so impactful, be it in a positive or negative way.

The new Bud Light commercial deserves a look. This commercial features an all black cast with a typical mix of light and dark skinned individuals. The commercial centers around a group of dudes sitting at the bar arguing about who saw something first. Given the linked visuals we are led to believe they are talking about and objectifying a woman as a possession. Once the woman arrives it is clear that they were discussing the beers she was delivering and she even gets in on the action, exclaiming how cool the bottle is. She moves away never once assuming (to our knowledge) that she was being objectified.

This is where the commercial breaks down for me. The audience is being led to identify with the objectification of a woman and once we discover we were supposed to be objectifying an actual object, we are not scolded, and furthermore the woman plays along.

The sexual objectification of women is as prevalent as roaches in a hot climate. As we see more commercials like the Dove ads working to countermand this, the forces of objectification are becoming emboldened.

Reading the the acknowledgements for Neil Gaiman’s delightful new work I discovered a line about the role Stephen King played in Gaiman’s writing. He encouraged Gaiman to write every day, which is the exact lesson I learned from his book On Writing. It struck me in that moment that I haven’t exactly loved writing this summer. If you love something you should reward yourself by doing it everyday. In fact, you owe it to yourself. I haven’t done it that much thanks to this terrible closed in feeling I get in my gargantuan home. It feels somehow dark and oppressive, which led to the idea of making an accent wall that doubled as color therapy. I did it today with the help of my wife and it worked very well. Suddenly the office I dreaded wandering into is the place that reminds me of how much I love to write.

I wouldn’t call the project done. The beautiful blue wall is nice, but my wife thinks (and I concur) that the space could be made even more elegant by the edition of grey paint to replace the beige marking the other walls. This would mean moving cabinets, which I don’t ever want to do again, but it is such a brilliant idea that I may have no recourse but to give in and do it–or paint around the cabinets.

For the first time in a while I feel happy and energized and I’m writing from this place of love and intention. Next week the Shadowrun Anthology debuts alongside a pretty awesome video game. I’m excited to see how people enjoy it and even more excited to write something brand new.

How’s that for change.

My kids asked me why I am so angry. I wanted to say them, but it wasn’t entirely their fault. The general level of malaise and summer disappointment does stem from being around them for an extremely long time with no real break for ‘grown people talk,’ residual anger (’tis a form of grief) from the loss of the last of my father figures, and the really big one for the day was the utter failure of major electronic devices. I bought a Jawbone Up. It didn’t work. I bought pro controller for the Wii U. It didn’t work. Two unrelated purchases from different locations that did not work to go along with an iPhone that works when it chooses to. Now this is a problem.

I have these problems on occasion. Electronics go out around me on a fairly regular cycle. I used to think it was an electro-chemical thing tied to seasons and the Earth’s own e-mag fields. My theory was that my own e-field was meshing with the earth’s field in a way that made my electronics wonky. The theory is wonky and I abandoned it long ago. I settled on the non-theory of gremlins and bad luck. That all came to a head with these bad products that led to bad parenting and returned goods.

The fact is, I am angry. I hate that.

After watching Pacific Rim I am considering renaming my Fantasy team Gypsy Danger. After all, the underdog bot story matches up well with my last few seasons. Not to spoil the movie, Gypsy Danger turns out to be a lot more plucky then the bad guys would like. I think I’m going to be the same way in this year’s breakout season. The key: Not relying on the stars of the game.

I’m going to rely heavily on the evidence and predictive models this year. I intend to marry that number sense with some danger sense of my own. Who is primed for a tough physical season? Who is likely to break down early? Who has nothing to play for? Who is playing for everything? No secret that the QB’s in a two QB league are going to go fast, so I need to look past the obvious Mannings and Bradys and look for end of the bench guys and potential late season starters to round out my offense.

Its going to be a fun season. They Might Be Giants/Gypsy Danger look good to win it all.

Some Thoughts:

1. Started the study room remodel yesterday with some initial shopping. I don’t think I will be painting much of the walls–if any. I had a strong idea for a chalkboard wall, but I’m not sure how to make that successful with the textured walls we have. I should paint the entire room, but given the time required to do so, it is highly unlikely. An accent wall is still possible. The basic white on black design is going to be highlighted by green, blue, and red, which are the boys’ three colors and will help identify the spaces within the space. There may be pictures or a post or both when finished. 

To say my restart has cranked down to a stop would be like saying a fossil just can’t move so fast anymore. The family death is no excuse. I’ve simply not been terribly motivated to get back in the saddle and get back to writing. Oddly enough, I have more stories in me now than at any other point. Maybe that mental traffic jam is the problem. Too many ideas does seem like a good problem to have on the surface, but it isn’t that great of a problem to have at all.

Some Thoughts:

1. My wife, after being gone for close to two weeks is very much vacationed out. Me, I want a vacation. Compromise is on the horizon. 
2. I’m struggling with understanding how Mistresses is going to keep the storylines going. They all seem destined to culminate by the end of this short summer season and not very well at that.
3. I want to do one of those bus disappears one day. The way it works is you stand still until the bus comes and once it crosses in front you run alongside the thing until you hit a hiding spot. Simple, remarkably childish, yet devastatingly cool in execution.
4. Dear Media, quit trying to scare the excrement out of me. I’m not constipated and the world is not likely to collapse around me any time soon.

1. Biscoff cookies stand as reason enough to fly Delta Airlines. I could live off these things. I would get very fat and die very quickly, but it would be a good death.
2. Death is a terrible thing for the living. This last brush with the beyond is no different. My moment of absolute heartbreak was when my father-in-law’s apprentice saw the body for the first time. Seeing a grown man break down like that removes every shred of composure you have left. He expressed the pain we are all feeling and I thank him for that.
3. Kids are always going to act like kids. When they stop acting their age, you have a problem. When my middle kid hit six he started acting like a six year old, which I found completely unacceptable for someone who up to that point had been doing 2nd grade level school work and behaving like an 8 year old. Eventually i remembered that he isn’t 8 he is six. As such, the ‘I’m testing you’ and rebellious behaviors he exhibits are in keeping with his age and energy. I can’t get mad at that. Sure, it is annoying as hell, but what are boys supposed to do, be silent little gentlemen who do nothing wrong?
4. The media coverage post-Zimmerman is despicable. We’ve gone from a news cycle debating whether or not the case is about race, to assuring us that race plays a major role, to whitewashing the fact that race was even a factor in the case. Did race play a role? Yes. Would Zimmerman have chased a young white kid  in shorts and a collar shirt? Unlikely. The fact is we have a national profile for criminal youth. That profile is socially black. This means rap culture. This means hoodies and baggy jeans and all of the looks that point to a kid being ‘hood. In truth the idea of ‘hood in America is almost uniquely black. Kids are said to aspire to this ‘black’ ideal. Our race problem has morphed into a cultural and ideological one.This is so prevalent that African Americans that don’t ascribe to this culture are accused of ‘crossing over’.
5. With some more planning, my pistol offense should be unstoppable, no matter the skill level of the players running it. The offense is designed to minimize the weakness of individual talents while maximizing the talent of superstar players. It will make zone defenses useless, leaving coaches to figure out how to man cover against a quickstrike QB who lives on crossing routes.
6. The amount of farting on planes surpasses the allowable methane limit by almost 80% No wonder smoking isn’t allowed.
7. It occurs to me that I have a number of school projects still in need of completion. August will be busy, busy, busy.
8. I think some people equate community college with sub par academics and poor teaching. I also think that those same people consider summer classes to be joke classes, so when they sign up for summer classes they do so with little to no expectation of hard work. When confronted with actual hard work those students are shocked, dismayed, and angry all in that order. It often becomes the teacher’s fault and then the grade is a thing to be litigated vs. legitimately worked for.
9. I think humans should never ever stay in the one motel in Nevada, IA. The managerial team is basically a husband and a wife living on site and treating their customers with less regard than they do the golden cockroaches that can be found on motel grounds. I was treated rudely by both of these so-called managers and one morning awoke to find their car parked in the middle of the driveway being washed. This business wouldn’t fly at any other motel or hotel. When I checked out the lady stared me down. She said nothing at all, not even thanking me for my stay.
10. I think I am grateful for the family and the life that I have. I’ve done well for myself personally, and I hope I can match that personal success with professional success in the long run.
11. The fart count just went up to 83% I am starting to suspect that my kids are involved…

I suppose you could say justice was served. In one sense, the letter of the law won out. In another sense the spirit of the law was pillaged. An armed man followed a boy into the darkness and when that boy defended himself the armed man killed him. As I said long ago, had the victim been a woman, this wouldn’t have gone to trial at all. However, it was a boy being killed. It was a black boy in a neighborhood where there had been break-ins and home invasions, thus this individual felt empowered to protect the night and ended up killing someone to protect himself.

I admit that he was protecting himself. For all intents and purposes he was losing the fight. He was being beaten up by the kid he’d been following and may or may not felt like his life was in danger. He retrieved his weapon, suddenly raising the stakes of the conflict, and at that point I completely believe that he needed to shoot Trayvon Martin in order to stay alive.  I also believe that had he not brought the gun into play, both individuals would be alive today. I cannot believe the teen intended to beat this man to death. However, this isn’t even the question the law asks. The question is about Zimmerman’s intent. There was no clear way to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Zimmerman killed the boy out of spite, willfully, or intended to do so from the moment he left his vehicle. The fact he left his vehicle to pursue someone he considered a suspect is irrelevant. It shouldn’t be irrelevant, but the law makes it so.

I believe Zimmerman is responsible for wrongful death, and perhaps a civil case will exact some measure of justice against the man. As it stands he is free to live his life and free to pursue and kill again should he so chose. What scares me more is that anyone else who decides that a someone looks suspicious now has a green light to follow that person and defend themselves should their potential victim decide to fight back.

We can call it the Punisher rule, because being a vigilante is okay in some parts of our country.

Some Thoughts:

1. My 6 year old left his Kindle on the plane. I am trying to figure out a way to brick the device so whoever found it and decided to keep it won’t be able to use it.

I’ve long been enamored by products that offer a clear timeline of when to expect success. Novel in 90 days. Better Basketball in 21 Days. 30 Minutes to Better Sex. Okay, maybe I made the last one up, but it could exist. There is a market for books that offer clear and time delineated instructions on self-improvement. That market exists largely as a result of a goals-oriented culture that stresses the reward over the journey. We are all children of Phil Jackson who once said, “It is not how hard or much you train, but how smart.” I am paraphrasing here as the precise words are locked away on a network stream that only functions freely 20,000 feet below me. Yet as I cruise the skies on the way to my destination I am struck by the truth of his words. We work smarter, not harder, which is supposed to be the mantra of the generation just behind my own. I suspect this mantra is flawed. How about work smarter and harder. How about we take full control of the hours we have between birth and demise to make the best possible product of ourselves that we can in the most efficient, driven, fashion imaginable?

I spent 10 years arriving and trying to escape Iowa. The state, much like a black hole, has a powerful gravity that rebuffs all of your attempts to break free. I have good memories of the place. I met my wife in Iowa. I learned how to be a part of a football team in Iowa. Still, the place is humid beyond reason and presents fewer opportunities for personal and economic growth than any other state I’ve lived in.

Today was the wake, which meant I had to confront my fear of seeing the body. Seeing is indeed believing, and now I am force to admit that my father-in-law is really gone. I don’t know what that means to the family dynamic yet. We’ll figure our way over the next year as we deal with the holidays and vacations.

I may cruise Ames at some point tomorrow and see how the town has evolved in the (9?) years I’ve been gone. Quite a bit I imagine. 9 years gone, which means 12 years since meeting my father-in-law. It is funny how time works.

Some Thoughts:

1. You might have noticed the lack of a post 1160. I’m a bit disjointed out here, but I feel like I have a post sitting on my ipad waiting to be uploaded. I wrote one on the plane yesterday and never had a chance to post it.