1754. Morning Notes

When is the best time to write? It varies for people–can vary for a single person depending on the mood and the time of year. Most of what I read about writing is a reminder that the most important aspect of writing is BIC (butt in chair) on a regular schedule. I try to instill this philosophy in students, requiring they write 10 minutes each day. It is harder than it seems apparently. Most students fail to find the 10 minutes, let alone find a regular chunk of 10 minutes in which to be successful. Of course, I cannot blame them because I am still searching for my regular chunk of time. The perfect writing time and space can be as elusive and ephemeral as a Unicorn.

Alliteration aside, the ingredients of good writing are simple. You need time, space, and an opportunity to clear your mind. This is hampered by the daily trials of life and further dulled by television. For that reason your writing space should be away from the people and things that represent daily business as well as be devoid of any television, vimeo, snapchat, or other distractions. Preferably keep these things so far at bay that it is uncomfortable to have to leave your sacred writing space to go get them.

One of my biggest hurdles has been actually sitting down at my desk to write stuff. I’m being literal here. Sitting down properly also makes a big difference. If you’re laying on your side, casually pecking at the keys , you’re less likely to be fully engaged in the experience. It is supposed to be an experience. You are supposed to feel something (good, bad, otherwise) when your fingers fly across that keyboard.

Cleanliness and proximity of resources is the last issue I’ll bring up today. I, of the messy office association, recognize that cleanliness is next to godliness and when we write we are meant to be gods shaping and watching the worlds we divine be shaped. I’m torn on whether or not one writes better in a clean space. Once I actually get in the chair it doesn’t matter if my office looks like the victim of an F5. On the other hand, if my office does look a mess, it is harder to justify sitting in that mess.

No perfect answers today, just suggestions. After all, nobody knows the right way for you to do things and al any of us can do is figure out the best way to live and work with ourselves.

 

Some Thoughts:

  1. A concept I’ve recently become familiar with is the cordial silence. When you’re on the outs with people they’ll be kind to your face if and when they must but maintain total radio silence otherwise. This is new to me and rather interesting. Consider part of my adjustment to being someone who is spoken more about than to.

1753. Where are you going, Where have you been?

Days like this I feel like it would be easier living in the era of the zombie apocalypse. Less politics. Digging through the last few years of posts I found that this isn’t the first time I’ve been to this point, but the first time it has been so low and pervasive. I feel like I’m in a constant hamster wheel of negative energy and unable to stop long enough to focus on the good things in my life.

And they are a plenty.

The problem is me making the wrong choices in a field of really bad choice options. Today I allowed a misunderstanding to snowball into something truly dark–a matter that could have been avoided if I had been more forthcoming about what was going on ahead of time as opposed to trying to spare feelings and avoid confrontations. I don’t think it helps that I haven’t been honest and up front about where I am emotionally.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means to be the best possible version of myself. Lately I’m trending in the other direction and watching the people around me flake off, growing disinterested in this lesser version of myself. I get it. However, you cannot go through all I’m trying to endure and not show cracks. There is a deep and lasting reason why stress kills.

There is also a deep and evident reason why a lot of that stems from always trying to protect others and coddle or correct negativity when I know that I cannot. I’m done with all that. I’m done protecting feelings and trying to deescalate conflict. It isn’t working. I don’t know why I am surprised. It never has worked.

So, less I fall into the classic definition of insanity it is long past time to look at the past and consider where I’ve been in order to better chart the path to this destination–this place in my heart and mind where I can build myself up to be that person I know I am capable of being.