Month: September 2015

Paul Schrader was once wrote, “I could be just a writer very easily. I am not a writer. I am a screenwriter, which is half a filmmaker. … But it is not an art form, because screenplays are not works of art. They are invitations to others to collaborate on a work of art.” I believe his statement was somewhat incomplete, because it fails to include the now ubiquitous adaptation. If a screenplay is an invitation to collaborate, a novel is quite possibly just a jump off point to something completely new. I’ve watched that unfold time and again, most egregiously with World War Z–that is until I saw the Scorch Trials.

Our departure from the original text begins with the fade in. The names of the characters here mostly remains intact, but the situations are changed, at first to pump up the action, but largely to spin an entirely new story based around strange infected creatures that resemble the vampire/zombies from I am Legend. Reused and updated CGI aside, the film fails to generate the spooky fun of the maze in this larger, less understandable world. The result is chases that are fun but pointless and dialogue that tries to be highly expositional about a plot that never really needed the help.

That isn’t entirely true. As we wind deeper into the film it becomes clear that the massive changes made lend themselves to continuing and punching up the series as it moves towards what will likely be a two-part conclusion. The original text didn’t allow for that. Still, the changes eliminate a lot of the theme, leaving us with strange Groot-zombies to deal with.

Some Thoughts:

1. I can tick off my writing and academic responsibilities on one hand. That’s new and wonderful.
2. Big loss in the youth tackle league. I cannot say I’m surprised. Angry. Not surprised.
3. Slow start for soccer too. We won 3-0 and our defense looked good but we had a lot of issues on offense.
4. Cat is in heat and trying to claw her way out of the house to get some ‘action’. I held off on the spay till after she is done milking but that might have to change. No need for pregnancy 2.0

Once, when I was about 17 yrs old, I took a class about building computers. I was poor, so I couldn’t afford to buy my own. Instead I worked on my classmate’s decks, moving from system to system spoiling over memory sticks and hard drives, hoping that I’d placed jumpers in the right order. The hardware side of the class was easy for me. I have never had too much trouble with wiring. The software side was more painful. I found that the Operating System was really what determined how the computer worked, and thus how I perceived each finished deck. The thing about operating systems is that they are always receiving updates. My problem was that I’d look at a deck, decide whether or not it was a good one and move on. Later, the OS would be refreshed and the computer I’d said was a low quality clunker would hum to life with all the speed and power of a Porsche.

People are like that.

It is my experience that others tend to write you off based on the last bad thing you did. You go through a few months of a rough spell or a slow start and suddenly you’re the person who can’t get it going or the one who will never recover or is constantly overwhelmed. They don’t stick around to see your OS refresh. Instead they look at you with the false pity of someone who thinks they have their own shit together. They sigh and tiptoe and give you the reassuring glance, all the while thinking that you are less than–a clunker that never quite got that OS installed right. Instead the reality is a person who is going above and beyond and doing things that make life all the more impressive to live.

Such parables remind me that people aren’t static. We are all fluid beings capable of doing wonderful things. Some of us are extraordinary and capable of doing so much more. Of course, doing more means more expectation and more that is taken for granted or lost on an uncaring audience. So, sometimes it becomes the wisest route to do nothing at all.

After a decent start to the regular and fantasy seasons, it is time to move on to week two. The Giants have moved on from a terrible loss and are ready to show that the outstanding defensive play was no fluke. The Cowboys are trying to prove that it was, but without Dez it will take some doing. This isn’t to say both teams can’t notch wins this week. In fact, here is what I think might happen:

DEN over KC
This will wind up being a defensive struggle. Manning will push himself and in so will expose a weak secondary on the KC side. This ought to be enough to help them squeak out the win.

BUF over NE
Like my least favorite wrestler intones, ‘Do you Bo-Lieve?!’ I Bu-Lieve in what Rex is doing with that team down there and Taylor has shown that he was learning a lot on the bench all that time in Baltimore. He isn’t a newb, and has the legs to cause the NE defense to creep up just enough to let that crew of talented wideouts go to work.

CAR over HOU
I’m looking for the HOU D to take control and help them win some games, but I am quickly coming to understand that this is still a QB league. That is made more clear when you look at the Texans who are also without their starting RB. No matter how well the D plays, Carolina has too much going for them for it to make much of a difference.

ARI over CHI
Cutler starts for me in fantasy and he really shouldn’t this week. The Cards will give up points to the Cutler-Bennett connect, but overall that defense should hold the Bears in check.

SD over CIN
This game is really a push for me. I’m going for SD purely because the the QB work here. I think Dalton has more holes in his game and his confidence than Rivers. That will lead to some unfortunate check downs, which will cost them a close but high scoring game.

TEN over CLE
Note: Mariota will have his official welcome to the NFL this week. That being said, the Browns D isn’t quite the scoring type. Unfortunately, neither is the Browns O. Count this one as a loss by the Browns.

MIN over DET
Bruiser ball is BACK. While MIN looks like a team that is reeling, in fact the Vikings are just trying to pull things together and get back in the rhythm they were looking to create when Peterson was suspended. I think that starts to happen this week and he has a 100+ yard effort which triggers some big plays for Bridgewater this week and in the weeks ahead.

NO over Tamp Bay
TB sucks. Nuff said.

NYG over Atlanta
Here is what I saw last week: Dez Bryant contained. The Giants secondary played an outstanding game that was schemed perfectly. This is what Spags brings to the table. Now he doesn’t have the D-line to pressure the QB, so that does give ATL time to create plays, but they don’t have the O-Line to create a dominant run effort, allowing the safeties to creep out of the box and cause trouble out there. I think the G-Men get in the W column this week.

PIT over SF
Not a lot to say here. I think Pit is more game ready this week than SF. They had more time to rest and prepare.

STL over WAS
Another one that comes down to D. STL is weak against the TE this season, which means some points for Jordan Reed in fantasy, but that isn’t enough to win.

MIA over Jax
layup.

BAL over OAK
see above.

PHI over DAL
This is a tough call, but the losses on Offense are too much to overcome in this short of a time. Look for more reliance on the run game from both teams this week.

GB over SEA
No Bam, no win. This will become a theme.

NYJ over IND
Luck done runout for Andrew. He faces two of the best Defenses in the league two weeks in a row? Thankfully it is a long season.

When I first recognized the numerical significance of this blog it was a simple matter to decide to write about Shadowrun. Those who know me as a writer know the particular joy I get from the years of opportunity I’ve had to write for the company. Shadowrun represented a fictional escape from the hardest parts of my life–both professional and personal–during a time when I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with myself as a writer. I toiled for most of my graduate program trying to sort out whether or not I was meant for literary fiction, fantasy, poetry, or straight up non-fiction essays. The answer came in the form of Nigel Findley and Charles Stross, two writers who led me to different corners of the same speculative room.. Stross injected a pulse of humor into hard science fiction while Findley painted around the edges of commercial sci-fi and even through in quite a bit of the magical with his Shadowrun work.

I was hooked.

I found myself engaged in a series of restless narratives that drove me deeper into this, lets face it, schizophrenic, idea of a world in which science and magic coexist. I was able to take the role playing game that I luxuriated in playing for so long and to at once design a narrative that took all that junk stored up in my head and gave it a very real place to live and even thrive.

I’m a lucky writer in that some of the characters and concepts I brought to the world continue to thrive and I myself continue to publish and to push forward these crazy ideas, hopefully in the vein of  Findley and the others who came before me. I’m not the best there is, as continues to be a goal, but I am still in the game and still working to make something that sets the world on fire.

Burn on, shadows.

I’m still pissed about the Giants losing.

I recognize that everything forward is some form of armchair quarterbacking from a guy that has never been in the NFL. Still, it is plain as day to see that the Giants are not who people thought they were. In fact, the NY Giants are a team that is buoyed by the play of their surprising talented secondary, which supports a defensive line that has less chance of getting to the quarterback than any perhaps in the history of the Giants. It isn’t even their fault the team lost though. No, that falls on the shoulders of bad 4th quarter coaching and one unfortunate play.

The Giants found themselves in similar situation to the Seahawks fateful SB 49 pass debacle. Once again, the team should’ve run the ball. It doesn’t matter that the flyweight offensive line hadn’t made holes all day. It isn’t important that they were only up three. No, this is about that clock and the limited time that was left. Here is what happened: The Giants called a pass play and Eli, with no options, threw the ball out of bounds. This stopped the clock and caused the Cowboys to have time to march down the field and score. Two things went wrong here:

1. Coach called a pass play.
2. Eli, with no options to pass, threw the ball out of bounds.

I get the call: You want to score and put the game out of reach. Still, given that the Giants are such a conservative and smart team offensively, why not make the conservative call here and run the ball. If you run then you at least chew clock, which gives the Cowboys less time to respond (which would have changed the play calling on the Cowboys side and led to a Giants win). As for the play itself, Eli relied on muscle memory and mental training to dump the ball once he was in trouble.

I get it.

Getting it cost the Giants the game. If Eli holds on the rock, it creates a time suck and gives the Cowboys less time to respond… See above. So, yeah, I am upset. Still I have a lot of hope for the season, because the secondary showed up. Now I just wish JPP would show up too.

This is the first waiver wire of the new regular season. We are in line for Super Bowl 50 and I am watching player after player check out due to injury. Suggs, Ellington, Cromartie, and many others don’t look like they’ll be making the most of 2015. They all went down with injuries that may keep them out the entire season. Meanwhile, the new season has brought some surprises and renewed rivalries. My own Fantasy Football rivalries are back in effect and I’m posting a line up that is, in one league, already composed of 4 players I didn’t draft. My picks too changed before the start of play today. I wrote them down, but didn’t explain at the time. I’ll share:

NE over PIT
This is about Brady coming home a conquering hero and Gronk being, well, Gronk. Obviously, this has been played, but we all knew the outcome once Brady was cleared.

BUF over IND
Anyone in a NY jersey is winning today. That’s it. Two of those teams are in the AFC East, which looks to be the best conference in the league this year.

CHI over GB
Who the heck is left to throw to over there in GB? Is Cobb even cleared to play?

KC over Houston
Expecting a low-scoring affair, primarily because I have the KC D this season and the HOU D is just sick like that. The HOU O on the other hand is a total unknown.

CAR over JAX
Jacksonville is the worst. team. ever.

NY over CLE
See BUF above.

STL over SEA
I don’t really believe in the Seahawks without Max Unger and ‘Bam’ Chancellor. Two dudes don’t make a team, but both dudes carry with them the heart of their respective units.

MIA over WAS
All of the AFC east wins this week. Of course, that cannot apply next week, so the real battles will be in-division.

ARI over NO
I believe in the Cardinals this year. They were strong last year and now they have a legit QB behind the wheel of a very high powered offense.

DET over SD
Unclear what the real weapons are on SD just yet, but the Lions, while losing a lot of D firepower, return a very potent offense with a new RB to lead the charge.

DEN over BAL
Same issue as with SD, I’m not sure what to expect from BAL this season…

CIN over OAK
The Raiders don’t have a lot yet. In a few years (and a few good drafts) they will be great again.

TB over TEN
Not a lot to say about this one. The Bucs seem to have more consistency, and if they have Evans starting, they have this game locked.

 

NY over DAL
Nuff said.

I was listening to Colts QB Andrew Luck and his father talk about the role parenting played in Luck’s growth as a player. I did what I think any parent does in that situation: I compared my behaviors to what the Luck family did. What I learned is that I need to take yet another step back as a parent and stop flying around my kids with that propeller over my head.

For me the helicopter rotors jut out more in football than anything else. I still coach my boys in flag, but in tackle they have another HC. The problem, as I’ve discussed in the past, is that the coach is also coaching a H.S. team, which means that though his heart is with the team, his responsibilities are taxing. I know a little bit about that part of things.

What I need to do is disconnect from pressuring the boys to learn from me in addition to coach. Papa Luck said that he didn’t think his son wanted ‘That Dad’ and went on to suggest he didn’t think his son wanted to be dealing with coaches all day long and come home only to be lectured by a parent about the same stuff. So, I’m stepping back.

In Theory. Practice remains a difficult trade.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Still a lot of roster tuning happening prior to kickoff. I picked up Percy Harvin as a stash player, thinking the mercurial wideout might be on the way to getting it together.

I gave the boys the option to stay up all night playing games. They took it, of course, winding towards 10 PM full of energy and desire. It is way past that hour now and only one remains conscious. Way to go for him, because I’m flagging. It was a special night for us.

Tonight marks the end of the summer in-between season–a season where there aren’t any sports to be played on Saturdays (or watched for that matter). Next week is the first of 7 consecutive double and triple-headers, leading into the winter break. We go hard with soccer and tackle football before breaking for our first post-divorce holiday season (more on that once I wrap my head around it).

The night went well overall, and it is really fun to sit down with the boys and live in their reality if only for a few moments. I’m learning that it is as important for them to live in my reality from time to time, and really get to know who I am outside of being a parent. They are boys who I expect to grow into good men, and I still feel like I am the one best qualified to teach them what that means.

Some Thoughts:

1. 5 weeks in and the kittens are adorable… and my office stinks. 5 more weeks till reclamation.
2. Iowa finally got past Iowa State, which means my Cyclones must fully embrace the suck this season.

40 is the new 30.

Seriously. It has taken me a decade to get into the mindset I entered my thirties with, and I am not entirely there. Still, I am having that Matrix moment (yeah, I really am 40) where I see things in the world in terms of how they actually work socially and psychology in terms of needs. It follows then that I am started to look at myself and the people around me.

 

A poet friend once told me that every action in life is about giving or receiving love. When we listen we are often giving love. When we talk we are sometimes looking to receive love—to feel important and to redevelop and enhance a sense of worth. In my own life I extend myself in ways that spread me thin, giving love openly, but hoping to receive love in return, though it rarely happens.

 

What happens at work for me is indicative of what happens in life for me. I tend to dive deep and take all of my skill set and try to apply it to every arena in which there is a need for that skill set. As a result I wind up being the guy who has his hands in everything and isn’t able to focus on a single thing. Sadly, I’ve done this so long that I don’t even know how to function only doing one thing. I’m cursed by multi-tasking.

 

It isn’t the only curse I’ve come to recognize. I once again see that it is far too easy to fall into a sense of moral, professional, or skill high ground and make yourself feel better about where you stand in life by trashing those who are learning, up and coming, or beneath you. It is a natural feeling. I always want to talk shit. I mean daily. I still recognize that there is no need to do so in a public forum—even if I dip into the hypocrisy pool and do so on occasion. Ostensibly it comes down to the Us v. Them dichotomy. By stepping on Them, Us is made stronger and more worthwhile.

 

More reflections to follow…