40 is the new 30.
Seriously. It has taken me a decade to get into the mindset I entered my thirties with, and I am not entirely there. Still, I am having that Matrix moment (yeah, I really am 40) where I see things in the world in terms of how they actually work socially and psychology in terms of needs. It follows then that I am started to look at myself and the people around me.
A poet friend once told me that every action in life is about giving or receiving love. When we listen we are often giving love. When we talk we are sometimes looking to receive love—to feel important and to redevelop and enhance a sense of worth. In my own life I extend myself in ways that spread me thin, giving love openly, but hoping to receive love in return, though it rarely happens.
What happens at work for me is indicative of what happens in life for me. I tend to dive deep and take all of my skill set and try to apply it to every arena in which there is a need for that skill set. As a result I wind up being the guy who has his hands in everything and isn’t able to focus on a single thing. Sadly, I’ve done this so long that I don’t even know how to function only doing one thing. I’m cursed by multi-tasking.
It isn’t the only curse I’ve come to recognize. I once again see that it is far too easy to fall into a sense of moral, professional, or skill high ground and make yourself feel better about where you stand in life by trashing those who are learning, up and coming, or beneath you. It is a natural feeling. I always want to talk shit. I mean daily. I still recognize that there is no need to do so in a public forum—even if I dip into the hypocrisy pool and do so on occasion. Ostensibly it comes down to the Us v. Them dichotomy. By stepping on Them, Us is made stronger and more worthwhile.
More reflections to follow…