Day: May 15, 2020

If I spent as much time on real world stuff as I did on the Minecraft world I would be prolific… and in shape… and a better human overall. I suppose that is what separates my partner and I. She does. all the real world stuff and is a legend. I do all the Minecraft stuff and continue to eek on by in the real world. I’ve been giving quite a bit of thought to the recent renewal of my Minecraft obsession and the answer is clear: escapism.

I read enough news to get that the quarantine is a big deal and I carry that stress around like a middle schooler’s backpack. Yet I can escape into a book and a pickaxe and feel very removed from everything. Still, that is not the only thing about crafting that does it for me. The sense of accomplishment on the ‘craft is instant. I can see my work and quickly edit my work in a way that writing, teaching, etc. does not allow. It feeds into my zone of proximal development, keeping me there long enough that the rest of the universe can fade away… for hours.

Why can’t I make that true of the real world? A number of reasons. One is a lack of grounding. The Minecraft world is the same no matter where I am at. Outside of that I am nomadic. I have also lost the ability to really feel like I can get into myself unless I can settle for a while, and the way I live doesn’t allow me to settle long enough to actually feel settled, which is a problem. The more I experience it, the more I recognize the rollercoaster that this has become for me. I’m dealing and finding ways to deal better, but it has an impact. So, when I do settle, I settle into my partner’s arms and when I am not doing that, I settle the craft vs. trying to settle into a space. Perhaps I should try to better develop a space to settle into that feels the same no matter where I am–like the ‘craft, but in the real world.

Some Thoughts:

1. 8:14 on reopening day. Nothing has exploded yet… yet.

Once again I have to say this is stupid. Tomorrow Arizonan’s will cheerfully stroll back into the lives that many were anxious to get away from. The State will reopen, which means the Casinos and stores will reopen, and all of it without any additional testing. We are basically setting ourselves up for a resurgence. I suppose that is the human way.

We as a people are stubborn sheep who want to be led. We are also being led in so many divergent directions that we often wind up going in circles. Often we avoid going anywhere at all. Not in the Covid sense, but in the aimlessness of life sense. Too many of us operate without purpose.

Some Thoughts:

1. I am running the risk of becoming one of those too many.