Month: July 2020

Been listening to a conversation on Cyberpunk and the roots, future, and the possibly continuing existence of the genre. I keep hearing that cyberpunk is dead. In truth people have been throwing dirt on the genre since the darn thing was invented. By all accounts dystopia and cyberpunk have a very close relationship and the emergence of Neal Stephenson started the post-cyberpunk movement.

I would argue that cyberpunk is not about the technology. It is not about the specific tech but about the idea of how the tech is used, how we react to technology, etc. Post-cyber focused on technologies that were still emerging as well as biotech and other possibilities such as nano. The issue we are dealing with in terms of naming is really about the tech and what sort of darkness was being suggested. Am I wrong in suggesting the darkness suggested by these novels and art et al is legitimately a part of our world though not to the extent suggested?

I still write cyberpunk. I still believe in its existence and power. It doesn’t have to be called cyberpunk, but lets not forget the message.

As it appears there will be some form of an NFL season, there seems a need to consider the fantasy draft and associated draft picks. We haven’t even seen the full impact of Covid-19 as players begin to opt out of the season. It seems to me that opting out might be seen as tantamount to not loving the game. This might have lasting locker room repercussions. Or it might not. t is hard to say how things have been negotiated from team locker room to team locker room, and what role the NFLPA plays in all this.

Given that this season is going to go on, we ought to be thinking about who to draft. Here are my top sleeper picks at the QB position:

Kyler Murray, Josh Allen

The safe bet out of the two is… well there is no safe bet where these two are concerned. The fact is they both ought to have great seasons and with the focus on flashier QB prospects like Cam Newton, this is a good chance to buy low–especially in the middle rounds.

This is my first worldcon and it is happening virtually. They’ve made a point of reminding me that this is virtual and why–snatching from me the illusion that this was a purposeful exchange. No, we are forced into the virtual realms and in spite of that we are going full steam into this new adventure.

I’m involved with a conference in AZ that has been forced to go virtual. Worldcon is my chance to explore how such things can be done effectively, and thus far it has been a solid experience. The idea of a virtual conference is antithetical to the community driven idea of the conference which has existed thus far. Worldcon lives in part on Discord while the population I deal with hasn’t evolved beyond facebook. There is no real choice to ‘move past that population’. In truth, I would not even want to. We serve that population and while I would like to serve more, I don’t want to leave anyone behind in the process.

We are building a virtual con designed to reach all populations–a difficult task to be sure–and to get folks writing. I am excited about this opportunity and looking forward to creating something that builds off of what I am learning here.

Some Thoughts:

1. School might not start when it is supposed to. This Covid thing is not going away, largely because we will not let it.

I’ve been binging Alias with the hopes of getting some joy out of it and a fuller sense of the story JJ Abrams is trying to tell. Well, I am getting joy out of it. JJ Abrams feels like the ultimate fanboy in many ways. He is the writer I am afraid to become–someone who is intimately familiar with structure and history of storytelling but doesn’t have anything to say himself. That is what I’ve learned through 17 episodes of Sydney Bristow running around the globe. And I do mean running.

She runs a lot. She runs in heels and boots and sneakers and, generally speaking, anything form-fitting. She runs into trouble and we are reminded that this is a fun show as she kicks her way out of that trouble. Once that is over we are introduced to a complication that usually reveals itself right before a scene or even episode break. Thus is the way of the Abrams. This way of suspense is both engaging and infuriating, yet I find joy in it somehow. That is why the man stays in business. He clearly knows what he is doing and he is very good at dragging us kicking and screaming into his mystery. That’s the part of him I want to become. The part where it feels hollow at the end is the part I want to avoid.

Perhaps you can have one without the other?

Some Thoughts:

1. I’m getting more and more excited about the move and anxious as well. I want it to be happening. I want to finish the base layout of the space and focus on aesthetics.
2. I wish I had the funds to make the backyard wonderful and to by a Jugs machine,
3. I really want that Jugs machine.

Going through my home (which is roughly 4000 sqft) I realize that the move is going to require an epic amount of downsizing. I will be losing the precious square footage of a garage to store the boxes and boxes of stuff I have accumulated over the years. How much of that stuff is needed? Not very much of it, I suppose. I have a ton of sports equipment that needs to find a place in the home, and we have a shed that, I hope, will be a home for that gear. Beyond that, the only stuff of note to require storage is holiday supplies.

On the surface it sounds simple: just get rid of your stuff. Yes, on the surface. In reality it is a lot of work to reduce your worldly possessions and decide what you do not actually want or require. Just going through my office alone has been a personal nightmare. The office has a closet that remains unexplored. I know there is stuff in there I need. I know. I gave a lot of thought to turning my personal space in the new garage into a music lab–a place to store all that nice DJ gear– but I have since soured on the idea, realizing I have not put any real time into music in years and, while I can store gear in there, it is probably best to avoid pulling it out and taking up otherwise precious space.

I act like I am moving into a tiny hole, but the reality is we will have 1500 sqft of living space that is not already occupied or accounted for in which we can add stuff to the stuff. It still means a major compression of 4k into 1.5 K and that 4 likely does not include the aforementioned garage.

I am nervous about all of this, because I fear that I will be giving up things I have long claimed to need but probably don’t. It is necessary and uplifting to ‘KondoMari’ the shit out of my life, but it is also uncomfortable and scary. I am experiencing all of it now and at once.

As my partner has told me in recent weeks, my writing process makes it hard for other people to be around me when I write. In truth, my ‘me’ process makes it difficult for people to be around me. While there are times where my writing process is a quiet and contemplative slag in which the only sound and motion is my fingers repeatedly striking the keys until it creates a rhythm, this is not the only way. Often I write with inspirational sounds, soothing sounds, or even TV shows cluttering the background soundscape. I draw from these things like drawing in air. Again, not always, but sometimes.

I feel like part of the move and part of the change is about changing my process and doing the writing a different way–accepting the collaborative nature of the writing and the relationship in a way I never have before. On the one hand I may be in the middle of a major spurt of writing and need to take a moment to focus on my partner and her needs. That is unfamiliar, but good and healthy and something I really want to do–and to be able to do. I get caught up in this idea of ‘got to get it down right away or it is gone’ and she has always been respectful of that. She has never hindered my process, but instead always helped and guided me as though my muse.

She is my muse. Now my muse and I share an office, and while that is going to take some getting used to for both of us, I believe it is the beginning of a beautiful journey.

Yep. A thing.

This is the day and space where I spend 10 minutes writing a story off the top off my head based on a random word I find online. Today’s word is:

Ulosis

They say that muscle gets stronger by breaking. The tissues pull and tear apart, straining under the pressure of exertion until they can no longer take it. The, broken and drained, they rest. They heal. They knit themselves back together because they have to. The muscles must be ready in the morning, because the body is going to keep moving; keep living in spite of itself. For a normal person a 3rd of your body weight is muscle. A third of yourself tears itself apart in a never-ending quest to support you; to deal with the stress and weight of simply being.

What they don’t talk about is the small percentage of you that doesn’t survive. Occasionally that stress–that weight of daily living of pushing yourself beyond that which you are accustomed to–that stepping outside of your zone tears down the toughest third of you in a way that cannot be fixed. Instead of knitting itself together another process begins. Ulosis.

It starts in the part of you that you felt was the safest–the strongest. Where the muscles tried to knit themselves back stronger the bonds can no longer grip. The muscle and skin thicken, hardening along the gossamer cord of that idea of self repair. Not ever injury can be repaired. Some leave a mark. Often it is small, barely noticiable or a sliver beneath the skin. Other times it is more. A visible thing that bears witness to your pain; your failure.

Ulosis is but the start of a scar. The formation of this new thing you carry with you. This new way of understanding and interacting with the world.

Interesting day of writing. I am falling deeper into the message of the story I am trying to tell beyond the plot and the resolution. The human story is what really makes me tick as a writer. The rest feels a lot more like channeling these stories from wherever they arise, but the character message–that deeper bit–comes from me and my experiences. It is why I love telling stories and, to be honest, it makes me feel clever to sort in a meaning between the gunfire and swordplay.

Perhaps what drew me to this particular story is the idea of family. I’ve written very little about the idea of family. What is family anyhow? Why is it we put so much value in blood connections. I feel more bound to the family I’ve chosen than some bound to me by blood. The choice is what matters and what is honored by choice the blood is a social responsibility and I am interested in speaking to why each have value but in different ways.

Some Thoughts:

1. Tomorrow is Freewrite Friday. It shall be a thing!
2. I was recently reacquainted with the Kimberly Story, an AZ folklore tale that actually originated in El Paso. It is a doozie of a story with some connections to real events. Whether or not the story itself is real remains to be seen, but I do want to make it a part of my composition class.

I just had the conversation with my partner about holding the 2020-21 fantasy football season. It feels like the NFL season will be happening. It will be janky as heck, but it will happen. As such we will carry on in a fantasy way. I haven’t given a ton of thought to what that looks like in terms of players and draft and concepts, but I will have something ready for you all next week. This week is back to youth football. Specifically, I want to talk about the national championships, the AYF, and the insistence to play in spite of covid.

The Empire Sun Devils (out of Cali) posted this recently:

This is a clear indication that these folks expect to play throughout the year and at least one league outside of AZ (NYFL in Nevada) is going hard. Our own team is first up on the Sun Devils schedule. We also play another one of their opponents, the OC Buckeyes, earlier in September. In other words, we are also good to go for the season.

I am still on the fence. I feel like this is a great opportunity for exposure and excitement for the little guy. However is it also a great opportunity for exposure to Covid-19? While we are working on ways to limit exposure (face and eye shields, personalized water, no snacks, coaches are masked, limited fans, etc.) there is no sure way outside of isolation. Likewise I am also sending my boys back to f2f school where the biological security is also suspect.

I have a lot of thinking to do on these issues in the coming weeks. I know there is exciting football available, but is it worth it?

I’m deep into this novella and trying to get the end sequence handled. I need to figure out how the protagonist finally overcomes the antagonist in a way that makes sense. I do not have an answer to that problem and thus do not have an ending. There are other loose strings left to tie up in the story, but overall I do not think I will tie them all up. I want to leave the readers guessing. I want them to feel like they’ve gotten a sense of who the character is and found some interest in his life and now he’s going on with his life and they ought to feel curious and hopeful about what happens next.

At the same time, there really are not enough words in a novella to dive as deeply as I would like to. I want to be able to dig into the character, so in rewrites I think I will consider ways to deepen our understanding of his lasting conflict–the one he comes into the story holding and that which is a step closer to resolution after the interruption that is this story.

I’ve needed to fall into writing something like this for a while, and revisions over the next week will be a happy happy time. Also painful. Always painful and excruciating. Detail work always is.

Some Thoughts:

1. My partner thinks I only say not so good stuff about her on the interwebs.
2. I think she is amazing.
3. So there.
4. In other news, I’m slowly coming around to the understanding that nobody actually cares if Trump is crazy or narcissistic or greatly resembles an African dictator in nature. His people dislike the idea of democratic rule so much that the majority — the great majority — of them will not allow anything beyond republican rule and that is a sad sad situation.