Month: August 2021

The news informed me that Cuomo resigned under the weight of the sexual harassment charges. It seems that sometimes a person in office will realize that the people who elected him don’t want to put up with bullcrap like that. Matt Gaetz ought to take notice and follow suit. He won’t. He is part of that new crop of people who are reminiscent of a much older crop who have decided that it is okay to talk about right and wrong and persecute the heck out of people, but when you are the one in the wrong you don’t have to worry about what you yourself did. That got me thinking about cancel culture and what problems are inherent in a culture that believes something you did in the past should not ever be forgiven–even if you are repentant over the situation. I’ve been looking into the recent Matt Damon cancel call and it reads like everything that is wrong with America. This man admitted to being an idiot who used hateful language in a private setting, got called out by family, learned from the experience and leaned into changing his behavior. He was open and honest about it. That was apparently his mistake.

I’m guessing the people who want to cancel him fast forward to the fact that he used the slur and skip the learning and change that accompanied his admission. He didn’t need to admit this. He didn’t do this in a public forum or in any space where others outside his private circle have access. No, that doesn’t make the slur right, but he chose to reveal this in a moment of reflection about change. That change is ignored. That change is often ignored by cancel culture, because the expectation is that change should’ve happened long before now. We should be beyond the point where people need to think or be told to change.

except we are not.

No Bloganovella today. I actually have an idea where it might be going. I keep seeing a bridge in my mind–likely it was on the list of things I needed to put into the story. It might be wrapping up soon as well. So, I want to enjoy the finish and write it on the days I feel it the most. Today is not that day. Only have I written once in the last three, which is not a good look for me. I’ve locked in Saturdays as the day off and Tuesdays may also be non-writing days because of schedule, but I know Monday or Wednesday or both will be big days–8-2 or so. I’ll grind extra hard on those to make up for lost time.

No, I didn’t do that today. I did find a wonderful worldbuilding app/site that I will be exploring this upcoming week as I return to the fantasy realm (as the 2nd project). The program is called World Anvil and is free to start though there are subscription levels and I don’t have any real sense of how private what I create will be on there… So, it is in need of deeper exploration. A la next week. That alongside the other program of interest will be my focus outside of the sci fi novel and building up these classes I’ll be teaching come later this August.

I usually wait till Wednesdays for these types of conversations, but it’s been on my mind as of late. I’m back at coaching for officially the last go at it. I’m coaching a 14u squad where my 12 yr old is playing. I know some people think this is foolishness, given the age gap between players but to me it is the equivalent of playing middle school football where 7th and 8th graders play together and, occasionally, a 6th grader touches turf. Age is a curious construct in sports. Most parents I’ve encountered this go round have stories of holding their kids back a year in order to better prepare them for sports. I did entirely the opposite. This 12 yr old is the only one that is learning ‘on age’. I find it interesting that nobody in these circles considers that a kid who learns faster or is advanced mentally should be skipped up but a player who is physically advanced should be held back. This dynamic defines youth sports in many ways, because the goal is to gain that feeling of power and success–both as a coach and a parent–and often this comes at the expense of the child.

For a long time I was actively confused about a coach who played his kids up a year. He did it from as early as possible and while the kid and his friends struggled at first, they got stronger through the competition. To go one step further, my mid kid, who was younger than this group and my eldest were both playing with the group. Now my mid kid is very successful playing and learning way above his age class–taking Jr. level and college level classes after turning 14 a few months ago. Meanwhile, the little one is playing with 14 year olds who have yet to clear middle school. Consider that: You can have success playing and learning up so long as you put in the work and have the physical gifts to succeed. The only reason to keep the little one at 12 would be to physically dominate at his own level. Where is the value in that outside of that feeling of power and success? Who is that power and success for/going to? Now he gets to prepare himself for the next level and, at the same time, push himself to get better and push himself beyond what other kids his age are doing. That is how it has been with all my boys in their own ways–especially academically. I may not be the greatest dad, but I feel like I got this one right. Up until two years ago that kid always played up. I stopped the practice as a way to watch him dominate. That was about me and about building this confidence in him that was entirely undeserved. Lesson learned. It made him a weaker player and a weaker individual. Now we are back to him fighting for his right to be at the table. It is uncomfortable and it is challenging. That is what it ought to be. No more super teams. Maybe he gets to play one fun game as an all star, but overall, this thing is about gauging growth.

I’m feeling good about gamifying my physical activity. For starters, I know what a base movement score looks like and how far away from it I generally am. I found myself running through parking lots in an attempt to up my numbers. I wonder how good they will look when it isn’t so damn hot. Still, while it is, I need to take advantage and melt off some of these pounds. I’m maybe halfway through this life I’ve been given if I’m lucky, and that means I have to fix all the damage I have done to this body before that damage starts to pile up in a really negative way. Time is short to put those later life and quality of life years back on and I am learning that for me, Gamification is the way.

This is not the review blog–I’m going to need to use this device a few more days to get there, but I can say I do feel healthier already and I am to get even better as the weeks progress. Also helps to be coaching because it is a built in reason to move and try to be active. If I’m running then the kids are and that makes them better and makes me healthier. win/win.

All this is to say I am happy and I feel like I am in a good place with all of the things in my life, though I worry that my balance is less than optimum especially when it comes to time with the partner and time on the novel. I need to get those in balance and stop doing some of the time wasting I do in order to give the lady the time and attention she deserves. I also need to get it right temporaly and mentally before the school year rolls in. I’d love to be in a position to start school on top of my game.

This really was turning into an old flatvid.

I sat on an old crate looking up at a ceiling of stalactites and glowing moss that served to remind me of how far from my everyday reality I’d come by venturing back into Manhattan. The sound of water flowing from the river above and down into this small forgotten space was a metronomic sigh of relief and all that kept me from freaking out about the situation. The deep only had one way in or out and while that path connected to the vast NY subway system it didn’t guarantee safety. Once we were out in the world anyone who was looking for Peter Choi would be able to track him down–if not by the army of facial recognition cameras and drones monitoring the city than by the absence of a digital footprint as he moved without a commlink or any relevant credentials through the Island. Like the sound of water, this momentary safety filled me with a calmness that spoke of future dread.

Choi was being dressed and outfitted by some of the dwellers down here who treated him like an old friend or at least an old soul. He fit in with them, and from what I’d been able to gather what he actually was gave him the kind of cred you couldn’t buy. I’d given up on asking him what he was. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know anymore, though I had my suspicions given my employer. As I watched him put on an old jacket and secure a scarf around his neck I found myself asking a different question. “How’d you find this place anyhow?”

“I came here years ago with family–not long before the SURGE hit. This cave and the two dozen or so like it across the planet are special. Each is filled with castaway people such as these–people who don’t necessarily belong to the surface world anymore, and find a type of happiness in the communities they create in these spaces.

“So, you want to tell me what this place is then?”

He grinned and said, “I think its time we got moving, don’t you?”

Some Thoughts:

1. I am not a pantser and this has been a seat of my pants novella thus far. Seriously. I don’t know what is going to happen until I write it and there is not a draft process. Things happen and continue to happen. Such an odd process. In truth, I don’t think about the story unless I’m right here writing it down.
2. Also figured out how to fix the font sizes. I will not go back and fix all the past writing. Just no…

The beer in the deep was the best I'd had since St. Louis. It was colder than it should be, considering the limited level of electrics in this place. The lights, the running water, all of it was powered by means I didn't yet understand or even comprehend. I had to keep my mind focused on what was in front of me. In this case it was a young man with strangely tinted blue skin and features that looked near alien. He was drinking a beer and looking around the surprisingly large cavern with an expression that wavered between wonder and curiosity. He hardly seemed to notice me as he studied the ceilings and looked at the people of the deep. They were all a collection of unusual misfits as well. A few looked, well, normal, but the rest reminded me of the early days of SURGE when Genetic expressions suddenly materialized within people giving them strange mutations. 

"You're a SURGE victim." I said.
He stopped mid sip. He said, "No. The SURGE liberated me. It allowed me to become who I am supposed to be."
"What is that exactly?"
"I'm a human, like you."
"You're awakened?" I suggested, remembering his aversion to the needles and considering who'd hired me.
"No."
"Then you're a liar."
He grinned. "What I am isn't important. What is important is that I'm safe now. Largely thanks to your distraction." 
I nodded, waiting to see if he would say more. When he didn't I said, "My job was to protect you from that situation up there. I did that. I suppose I ought to be on my way then."
"But I'm not safe." He said.
"What do you mean?" I grew tense. I knew this place from the old days, but not well enough and not recently enough that the people here knew me or even trusted me. If he wasn't safe, neither was I.
"The men who wanted to implant that device in me won't stop. They brought me there under false pretense, and once I realized what they were trying to accomplish I ran, but it doesn't mean they won't try again."
"What does it do?"
"Turns me back into who I was."
I didn't ask the obvious question. Instead I said, "So how to we stop them."
Peter Choi said, "You need to get me out of Manhattan."

Some Thoughts:

1. New update is entirely wonky in terms of text formatting. Not sure what to do to fix it just yet. More research required… The font ought not to be that small as a basic starting format. Had to use preformatting… Feels like it impacted all of the previous work as well. Bad update indeed…

I know, I’ve been away from the bloganovella for waaaaaay too long, but hey, it’s Wednesday and I haven’t hit the wire for a long time. Why? because there was no real sports news to discuss but that all changed…

Basketball
The boys have me playing NBA2K, which means I am starting to think about B-ball post NBA finals. The finals were great, but what happens next? In the real world the Lakers have gone old with multiple signings of players over the age of 30. Westbrook, Howard, and now Carmelo? I think they expect to treat the regular season like a chance to develop chemistry and talent among the youngers and let the old school carry over the playoff stretch. That being said, they are legit my favorites in the west. In the East I expect the Knickerbockers to make a little noise following the signing of Kemba Walker. That’s a big one. We needed a PG to run things. This is going to make them contenders and hopefully they can avoid the Hawks in the playoffs this time.

Football (Youth Style)
So, the 12u thing did not go as planned. While there are offers still on the table for the kid to play for another 12u squad, it looks like he will be playing up to 14u. While this may at first feel odd, the truth of it is he is a middle schooler playing MS ball. I don’t expect him to start at RB, but lets hope he finds his way on the field to get some minutes and really up his game. He has potential and this is the biggest challenge he’s faced. As far as defense goes, he’s looking like a CB prospect lately and he could see significant minutes. Only time in pads will tell though.

The NFL
The Giants made a big splash with an average on field brawl. The hit that started it wasn’t particularly vicious, IMHO. Not say, like the hit that cost a (former) Panther’s player his job. He was cut from the team following that practice entirely because of that hit and the message cutting him does send. So, things are happening in terms of safety. Happening too late for the Colts who lost their oft injured QB to a single man injury. Yeah, he just stepped wrong and now he done. Possibly up to 12 weeks. Wentz is straight cursed.

Let’s take it back to round 2 of the blog. 2.216. When my back went out for one of the first times. This was a big one for me. This is when I tasted mortality and the idea of aging in a big bad way. It was a rough one, because as a dad you don’t want to have to be useless around your kids. Yet here I was. Here I was with a partner that was willing to drop everything to make sure I was okay. I owe her more than I can possibly repay. I owe her all the happiness in this world and I will try to repay that.

Some Thoughts:

1. Brief and emotional one tonight…

For the first time I can remember I’ve decided not to work on a Shadowrun project. I don’t feel like I’m in for this one. I will probably feel differently down the road, but I am out on this upcoming book. I’m out of ideas for it. Crazy right? Maybe not so much. I’ve been doing a lot of the SR work and it is about time I stepped back for a few months and didn’t do a book. It would only present another distraction from the novel and I don’t need anything else to distract me from that project or the one that follows. I think this book needed to be zeroed out for me to reset, refresh, and learn what the new writers are trying to create with the world and also to reinvent what I’m trying to create in that same world, because I don’t have a plan. I want to get people more exposure, but no real plan. No real voice character in the sourcebook’s either, so maybe we put that on the list too.

What I am trying to do is find a rhythm and at the same time find a voice in the world outside of the RPGlands. This is largely where the need to be focused on the sci fi and fantasy stories comes from. I need to get back to thinking about these worlds and ideas that exist within me and ways to bring them to the surface. The problem with freelancing is you are writing for and about other people and other people’s stuff. It stifles your own stuff to a certain extent, and after a while you start to forget you have stuff at all…

Well, I stopped spiraling.

All it took was a good night’s sleep. Seriously. That stuff matters. A new day and a new set of goals to process and directives by which I shall continue to move forward in life. In short, it’s a new day, new week!

I started this new week by jumping on the Halo trend. No, not the game. The Amazon device that tracks your fitness. A review of the device will be up in a week, as soon as I unlock some more of the features. So far it has allowed me to see my heart rate over the course of a day and begin learning how to game that and work towards a healthier lifestyle, as I struggle with this greatly.

In the writing world I am getting closer to writing the fantasy epic. At least closer to planning the darn thing. I’ve been wanting to tell a fantasy tale of this scale for most of my life and I am not getting any younger. No more waiting. Now we plan and develop. I am also helping to plan and develop the final Dragonball hunt. This is it. As these kids age up, it is time to bring an end to the hunt. I don’t think we will go out quietly either. More on that on the other site as it develops…

In sum, sometimes you spin off into the darkness flailing and screaming and expecting to float forever. Sometimes you hit a wall or grab a rope and everything is okay. Sometimes you just need a good night of rest to recognize how life has given you so much joy and opportunity. I am grateful for my life and my opportunities and my intelligence and my family. I am a lucky dude and proud of it.

Some Thoughts:

1. Two leagues of Fantasy have already checked in and we are rolling in late August. The 3rd has not…
2. Jelle’s Marble League is pushing out a game.. IF the indiegogo makes it’s money. Funding is at 72% It needs you. The marbles need you. At the very least, click here and learn more!