Day: September 1, 2021

I wish I had the ability to take a step back from my life and truly see it from an outside perspective. I believe doing so would allow me to truly take in the breadth of the luck and goodwill that has powered me throughout the years. I struggle with recognizing, at times, how lucky and blessed I’ve been thus far. To walk away from a car accident again without injury is a testament to the beauty of life I’ve been blessed with.

So, to look at it all and to see how difficult and trying that daily life has become makes me want to have a way to, at the end of the day, be reminded of how grateful I should be for all of that. I am grateful, but I am also overwhelmed, and I am also ill equipped for dealing with my stress in a communicable way. Perhaps that is what makes me a writer–perhaps I need and use that stress as the fuel for story, and when I reach into the pit of all of it I find the real story and that is what seeps through–no matter the context. Perhaps that is ultimately how I deal and heal.

The good news: I’m alive.
The bad: I no longer have a car.
I’ve lost two over the course of Covid-19. This latest one was lost to a 2 car collision which was entirely my fault. My brakes went out. What’s worse, the car told me it was going to happen. I’m sure I’ll be sore in the morning and probably suffered a concussion. The entire front end of my car caved in on impact, and as I write this I can feel the adrenaline draining out of me. It is going to be quite the evening.

It didn’t happen very long ago. In fact, it was less than an hour ago that this all went down. I was a few blocks from home, driving the short road to the highway and the truck in front of me stopped. Traffic. I stopped. At least I tried to stop. My car didn’t respond. I slammed the brakes all the way down and the next sound I heard was the thud of my car smashing headlong into the back of a truck. The truck was entirely undamaged. My front end was bent into a V shape. One thing about American trucks: They don’t break from wrecks.

Now I am in that space where I don’t really know what to do next. I contacted insurance, which is a terrible company BTW (Geico sucks and I was ready to change). The app glitched on me so I don’t really know where I am at in that process, and I bet they won’t cover an accident I caused anyhow. So, now I am without a car and too broke to really buy a new one anyhow. I suppose I can drum up enough credit to lease something for a short while and go from there. Whatever I do, I ought to figure it out on the sooner side of the spectrum.