Month: October 2021

The 14u is going pretty well for our team. I’m curious and excited about what to do moving forward with closing out the youth experience for my kid. The best outcome would be that ring for the 14u championship as a 12 yr old knowing he was a vital part of the squad. We have a chance to compete. Here’s the standing thus far:

Team	Win	Loss	Ties	PF	PA
Raiders	5	0		118	34
Liberty Lions	4	0		150	19
Irish	4	0		104	6
Argos	3	0		134	6
Mustangs	2	2		47	71
Jr Eagles	2	2		36	72
Dragons	2	3		75	67
Peoria Panthers	2	2		74	56
Spartans	2	1		47	24
Yuma Coyotes	2	2		21	53
Jr Huskies	2	1		49	8
Force Football	1	2		39	53
Ridge Army	1	3		26	95
Outlaws	1	2		41	61
Elite Reapers	0	3		0	105
Devilbacks	0	2		0	70
Mesa Toros	0	3		0	55

Still haven’t gotten to the Opponents Win and Opponents Opponents Win. Those categories matter statistically. It gives a sense of who these teams really are. With 16 it looks like the best 8 are going to be considered D1 and the second 8 go D2. Ideally we want the 1 seed but the two works just as well. 3 gets wonky, but 4 is not where we want to be. The 3-6 game–if the season ended today–is an interesting matchup for us. I still don’t know who the Eagles are based on who they played. They lost to the Ridge Army and the Liberty Lions. This, coupled with a lack of offense tells me they might be pretenders. I feel like the Ridge Army will be able to elevate their play to make D1. I’d love to play them as well as one of the other undefeated in the next three weeks of the season. We probably get 7 games. I’d love to see 8, but I am guessing the guaranteed 8th is the playoff game.

We expect more than 8. We expect to be last team standing.

As a sci-fi writer I spend a great deal of time looking forward into the near future. I’ve been a terrible futurist as I have rarely looked beyond the next 100 years. This has been on my mind lately as I’ve been watching the future shaped by Asimov’s Foundation and other far flung sci-fi epics. More and more as I try to look forward I find myself wanting to know how we got here. I want to look backwards and explore the beginnings. In essence, I think I want a do over.

I enjoy the simplicity of fantasy. Often people assume a love for fantasy is a love for the magic. For me it is the mythology and the swordplay. I dig magic–don’t get me wrong–but that is not the source of my need to write in that genre. I have a desire to build old worlds and create the mythos that can be carried forward a thousand generations. Perhaps it is my god complex or minecraft or whatever you call the need to create (other than being a writer). This is a thing I want to do and feel like I can do successfully. At least I’ll give it the good ol college try.

Some Thoughts:

1. Still no real cricket-killing plan.

I am presently dealing with a cricket infestation. More to the point I am presently not dealing with a cricket infestation. I don’t really know what to do about the situation. All I hear is the chirping all night and during quite a bit of the morning time. I’ve failed at controlling the yard and made an environment in which they thrive. So, step one is to clean up the space. Step 2 is to spray the crap out of all that I can. I will likely need to lock up the cat for a few days while I do this. Step three: repeat. I need to get this handled because I am tired of living in a trashy environment. I am really tired of living like this and even worse, no one beyond my partner actually seems to care.

As time drift forward so does the blog and so does the purpose of the blog. I don’t know that I’d call it an evolution over time. It has seen better days and has seen a few worse ones. I will say the blog feels stagnant, which is inline with my drained soul and emptiness of the idea well. I need to get rejuvenated, and I don’t actually have a clue how to do that.

I do know what doesn’t work: bad TV. Overworked mind doesn’t help much. Emotional distress? That’s a big distraction. All of these things tend to define my daily experience and that makes for bad writing.

my partner suggested I try to write some short stories to fall back in love with my crazy craft. Having knocked out this novel I feel like the time is right for it.

perhaps it will make the blog better—re-energize the thing. It needs it. I need it. One thing remains true. I started this ten minute rule as a daily touchstone. There is a great difference between a touchstone and a chore. This blog has begun to feel like the latter.

this must change in order for me to find a better way of being.

I now have at least one win in all of my leagues! I am also 1-3 in all of my leagues, which doesn’t bode well for playoff chances. It isn’t that my team sucks. It’s a little of that In At least two leagues, but the key issue is matchups. So, starting this week I’m researching schedule and building for the playoffs.

What does that mean? Well, it means I need to focus on who plays who and when. I need to predict how tight the race will be and who will be out and who will be so locked in that they rest players. Contentious divisions are the best. I need divisions where first and fourth are down to a few games at the end of the season. I also need those players who will be on the field and stepping up.

Nfc teams fit that description. West and east divisions are the prime candidates. NFC east is famous for only the leader making the playoffs and the margin is often razor thin. I’m going to need giants players out there. The west is tough because up to 3 teams will be in the playoffs and it will be a battle for those spots.

The AFC feels settled already. We know the teams so seeding is the real issue. I have been burned by the AFC before. It may be smart to trade off players like Mahomes before it’s too late.

Coming round to the end of the revision period for my novel and my brain is absolute mush. I’m not in any real shape to do much more than offer…

Some Thoughts;

1. Coffeenerdness: Major Dickason’s roast is far and away the best I’ve drank black. I can hardly drink coffee black at a restaurant. I was at Ihop the other day and the coffee was disgusting. However, I will say that if you ever go through North Bend up in Washington, stop by Twede’s Cafe. You may know the name from Twin Peaks. The coffee is actually legit. Best cup I had in Washington.
2. The casting for Titans is on point, as is the perspective. While Batman exists within the show we never see him in costume and it is not about him. It’s about these Robins. All of them. I appreciate how they put their own spin on the situation. The addition of a Black Tim Drake was surprising, but with him being my, well, hero, i’m happy.
3. Brain is fizzing out.

My fantasy world is crashing down around me. In one league I’m losing running backs. In another league my Wide receivers and Tight Ends combined for 11 points. In the 3rd league I just don’t have enough firepower to produce big points. This is going to be the year I need to reach out and make trades, but I am horrible at trades. I don’t even know who to trade for! I think part of the issue is my own failure to put in the time and effort. I’ve been feeling that a lot with the kids lately. This happens in games as well. They play and care so much more than me that they put in the hours where I don’t. Let’s not forget my reflexes are considerably slower as I age. All of this makes for a pretty potent cocktail of fail.

I’m tired of the failing. I’d love to be good at something again. Not sure that is going to happen in the gaming world. I fear I’ll always be just okay from here on out and likely on the spectrum of not good. This, along with the endless thoughts of death (not dying but the absence of life) marks my getting old. I don’t like this version of getting old at all.

Some Thoughts:

1. We get a week 1 do-over in the youth league. The team we were supposed to play had a Covid issue, so we played their better counterpart. We scored 12 points and gave up none. It was a solid win, but it was not the sort of win that announced our team to the league. This week we announce our team to the league.
2. Principle revision is nearly done. I’m mad late with the draft rewrites, but I think that the book is going to be good. It better be good enough to excuse my lateness and give me another shot.

Presently the Bucs are playing the Patriots in New England and Tom Brady is down by 1 in the 4th. It is a strange homecoming for the man who is now the all-time passing leader (after supplanting Brees and so many others along the way). You gotta believe this was setup from the get up. For Brady to get that honor in the stadium he built (and built him) is a miracle of algorithmic scheduling to know just when this man would break the record. Of course, Brees is there as a commentator. The only person missing the party is Gronk. Broken ribs held him out of the show. Supposedly he didn’t even make the trip.

Locally, the youth game is heating up as teams separate themselves from the pack. This is supposed to be the week they announce divisions for specific age groups. My squad wanted D2, but after moving to 3-0 it looks more like we are going to be fitted into that D1. That is not entirely unpleasant. I welcome the competition, but I fear we are not ready for it. My boy’s former team, The Argos, have been tearing through the league, twice now ending games with the mercy rule. For that to happen you need to score 42 points on a team. We didn’t score 42 points in the first two games combined, and this latest 26-6 win is the most lopsided victory we’ve had. Here are the standings as I’ve recorded them:

Team	Win	Loss	Ties	PF	PA
Raiders	4	0		99	26
Argos	3	0		134	6
Liberty Lions	3	0		104	13
Irish	3	0		57	6
Mustangs	2	1		39	52
Jr Eagles	2	1		30	26
Dragons	2	2		75	53
Spartans	1	1		13	12
Force Football	1	1		27	19
Yuma Coyotes	1	2		13	53
Ridge Army	1	3		26	95
Peoria Panthers	1	2		47	56
Elite Reapers	0	3		0	105
Jr Huskies	0	1		0	8
Devilbacks	0	1		0	35
Mesa Toros	0	3		0	55
Outlaws	0	2		6	61

This is not a true power point standings, because it lacks the more detailed Opponent Win and Opponent’s opponent win categories that help to shape the quality of victories. To be honest, we haven’t really beaten one of the top teams. We beat the top Pop Warner squad, and the lesser PWs have gotten some league wins, but one of those PW squads got ransacked 42-0 by the Argos. The Liberty Lions and the Raiders are also undefeated, and the Mustangs also were destroyed by the Argos. In short, the Argos are the standard and it remains to be seen where we fit in this complex 14u hierarchy. According to the numbers, we fit at 4. Let’s see what sort of competition that earns us this week.

Some Thoughts:

1. Being this deep into the revision process makes me look at books differently. I’ve never been a heavy reviser. Now that I am in that process I can recognize the moments in a text where an editor and author found compromise.

Not much more to say today than yesterday. I remain at odds with what makes me happy and what is good for my life moving forward. I don’t know that there is room in my life for everything I want and days like this only serve to highlight that. Effectively, I need to have less going on. In fact, I need to have nothing going on most days in order to leave room for whatever we decide to do. If everything is so scheduled–especially through the weekends, it does not allow for me to be spontaneous. It is that lack for freedom; of spontaneity that is ruining what I have tried to build into my relationship.

So, I am firmly attached to the idea of this being the end of an era. However, it grows more difficult to truly enjoy the end of it, because that enjoyment comes at a clear cost.

Okay, no more life talk. Not for a while on the blog.

Still not at the point where this blog is ready to be fully coherent again. I might need a week. It doesn’t mean I stop or stop trying. It means that there is so much happening emotionally and practically that I don’t have enough mental energy left to really look within during these ten minutes and produce consistently. I’m focused (as focused as I can be) on this weekend’s slate of games. My mid kid plays in an hour at Desert Vista. I’m looking forward to seeing what he can do against an undefeated Highland High School team. The little one plays tomorrow morning as discussed yesterday. Still not sure how that is gonna go. He’ll be starting at CB for the first time at the 14u level.

Me? I am trying to hold it together here in a situation that feels more and more like the Titanic each day. I realize I won’t be able to sustain it for much longer. I don’t expect to be here at all beyond next year and even beyond the summer feels firmly unlikely. What’s worse is that the time I have left to enjoy these moments of being that dad who goes to the games and such is losing it’s luster due to the cost of such things. It is that growing part of me that is grateful the season is almost over.