When I started this blog, I meant it to be a blog about writing and the writing life. Over the years it has shifted in and out of that purpose, more swirling around my life and thoughts and ideas than anything specifically writerly. I try to be as honest as possible in this space; only withholding names to protect the innocent and the guilty. I am honest about what it takes to be a writer and how I have failed or succeeded based on how hard I work and how lucky I am respectively. I’m about due for that luck to run out, and need to rely on actual BIC (butt in chair) to move up in the world to a larger audience and sharing more stories. I want to do this for the rest of my life, and in order to really be able to do so means striking a balance between work and play and coalescing the individually quartered elements of my life into one whole thing that rotates around the twin suns of romance and writing. This is the life I chose from the moment I took up pen (keyboard?) to write this blog, and I have experienced various levels of success and failure throughout.
One way I’ve failed is as a father. I have 5 boys and a girl–three of those kids are adoptive. It is that side of the family I’ve failed with, I think, most of all. They never embraced the way I love and for so many many years my role in their life has been a bit of a question mark that only my one girl seems to fit me into a category that is positive. Her motto is, “we have a relationship outside of you and mom.” and that is the differing factor between her and her brothers.
One way I’ve succeeded is as a Shadowrun writer. I’ve published more RPG books than I remember, and sold several novellas and now two novels. That is success. I do wonder what is next for me though? Will this next novel be strong enough for me to write more SR novels and feel good staying in that lane? I know I have many other stories to tell. My desire to work for Star Wars is legendary at this point. A brief conversation with my partner today led me to understand how much of a lateral move that is in terms of storytelling, with only the fanbase growing larger.
So I’m left to ask what should I do next? I need more fans. This blog is supposed to be that naked truth, so that is the naked truth. I need more fans in order to make enough money to tell the stories I cannot tell in shared worlds. I don’t have the fan base to sell my own world. It doesn’t mean I cannot write those stories, but I don’t believe I can sell them, and if I want this to be my full time thing, I have to be able to sell. This is all.
Some Thoughts:
- The new(ish) Giorgio by Moroder memes are way on my nerves. I just want to hear the original hotness…