I think as you age, different things are supposed to become more important to you. I find that I haven’t shifted too far from the core things I find that matter, though how much each matters in that give and take of my full attention varies. One thing that remains extremely important to me is being treated with love and respect. I get that, for the most part from over half my children. Even on Father’s day 5 out of 6 reached out to say Happy day. The 6th? Well, I cannot control everything in my life. I can only control my interactions and how I do things on my side of the interaction. I’m working on that part. I’m working on being a better dad and a better person overall.
I ought to add that I am working on being a better writer as well. By better in this sense I mean more creative and more creatively attached to the projects I decide to work on–and more selective in that sense in what I work on and when. I know what my level of ‘cognitive load’ is and I often butt up against that when I take on too much or too many different kinds of things. This is problematic in that it lowers the overall quality of everything that I do as well as my quality of life as my stress begins to build. Heck, my lifespan shrinks for that matter.
I am learning that all things we think and feel and do are connected and how you manage the one thing you can control–your personal involvement/investment/stance/emotion/effort–is how you can effectively manage your life. I am learning that my brain has suffered much over the decades from really being beat down by bad situations, emotional entanglements of the romantic and especially non-romantic kind, as well as poor inputs. As with birthdays, Father’s Day winds up being more about reflection than celebration, and that is a huge part of who I am–solitary reflection is my thing.
Now I just do it in a public forum.